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Starting to Panic. Need advice.

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  1. #1
    FertilePanic
    | Fertile Journey 4 Eva
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    Starting to Panic. Need advice.

    Hello, not sure I'm cut out for tying to make a baby, didn't realize it would be this challenging but here I am. The husband, looking for some advice. My wife and I have been trying for 2 years now. We're both soon to be going on 38 in several months. Had a couple failed attempts, nothing that has really taken hold for very long and overall just trouble making this happen. I really don't know much about anything. Charts, temperatures, clomid, accupuncture, ultrasounds ... my wife seems on top of that stuff, my job is to take fertilaid pills and other stuff, cut back on alcohol and lower my stress. We are going to try IUI after this coming cycle but we are both getting pretty discouraged here and this is my attempt at trying to be more involved and help figure anything out about how to make this happen. Seems like everyone around us is conceiving I don't understand why this is so difficult. If anyone can offer any advice about what to try or do so I can make sure we aren't missing anything. We are only doing it around 3-4 times around the time I receive my orders is that enough? She seems to think that's sufficient but I don't know anything... the more I learn, the less I want to know and the more I read, the more discouraging things sound. Everyone had been telling us this spring this spring but now spring has came and went. I've also had my stuff tested and it was fine, had bloodwork done and was low in vitamin D but have corrected that.


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  3. #2
    tanna
    Hopeful and positive....baby bump will soon be on the way
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    Big step for all of us.....that is why we do the support groups, it is super tough doing it alone. I have soooo much I want to say, so I will start at a point and work my why through.

    Do not try to do it alone. Speak to family and friends etc, just too much to keep everything in.

    Do not compare your situation to other people. Every situation is different and unique.

    Be careful of the internet..... sometimes we get good advice....sometimes it just scares the **** out of us!

    Technology is amazing these days! So much they can do for us!

    Show your wife love and support and discuss everything with her. You boh need to trust and be comfortable enough to discuss these issues to be able to support one another.

    Our story....
    Been trying for 8 years now. Starting our first and I trust our only IVF ICSI soon. I have Endometriosis and PCOS and hubby has very low sperm. We actually went to see sperm bank today and picked out our sperm, we discussed it and decided it just makes sense to go this route.

    Please whenever you want to talk or vent or something, I am here.


    Good luck!!!


  4. #3
    Romy69
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    FP, well done for reaching out and posting on the forum and welcome!!!
    Same here, a lot to say but will try to get to the point.

    You are not offering much info as to who you are seeing (OB or FS) and what have you done. What have you both been diagnosed with? If you are not seeing a Fertility Specialist at this stage, I would strongly recommend you see a good one in your area. OBs are great but fertility is not exactly their strong point in my opinion. If you are seeing a FS but he is doing the same thing over and over again, go for a second opinion.

    Go through the titles of the posted threads on this forum and read what applies to your case. You will find a wealth of info and someone somewhere has probably been through what you are going through / been diagnosed with and shared experience and advice.

    I'm not that sold on telling friends and family. We were TTC for 10 years after we lost our baby. We shared with some friends and there was a constant pressure as to when will we announce the pregnancy. I could not handle it. Some friends can really be nosy and pushy and they think you are not doing enough, judging from the fact that they got intimate 3 times and had 3 babies!?! As it turned out, our dreams came through using a surrogate.
    With regards to family, I had the question from my MIL "so, is it your fault that you can't conceive?" Ooooo, the pleasure I would have had just slapping her on the face!!!
    On the other hand, there are couples who have wonderful family support. If your families are some of those, I would say share with them once you know where you stand.

    Fully agree regarding Googling info. There is some very credible information but also a lot of rubbish. So if you Google things, make sure the source is reputable, credible and scientific.

    Please don't get discouraged as yet...To us that was the toughest journey we've been on, it took us 10 years, nearly ruined us financially and I won't even talk about the pain and heartache. You and DW need to be a team and discuss things openly. If you feel that counselling is needed, make an appointment with a counsellor that deals with infertility issues and go and speak to him / her. Tell her about this forum if you haven't yet and let her also join. I belong to another forum in my country and without the info there, I would have never emerged a winner in this SH!??y journey! My 1st FS was doing everything over and over again without changing anything. The results we were getting were worse and worse and he was 3ple the price of the 2nd one. I learnt a lot from the forum and found my second FS through there. He was the one that said enough is enough, surrogacy is your only way after 7 failed IVFs in total, 3 done by him. We changed small things with each try and got the best fertilization rate and embryos with him.

    GL and tell us more about you.


  5. #4
    FertilePanic
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    Yea, both our families are useless in the support category, so we can't really talk to them. The first time we made the mistake of telling everyone. Never again. Neither of us have been really diagnosed with anything. My guys seem to check out, good numbers and motility, all I'm trying to do is cut back on alcohol and coffee. We have an appt. to see an FS for an initial consult this month so that we can hopefully try IUI next month but unfortunately the nearest place to do this is an hour away. So this month will probably be our last attempt at making this happen naturally. Any tips? is 3-4 times enough? Wife has done ultrasounds, day 3 bloodwork, this month will be her third cycle of clomid, fertility accupuncture, take out book from library about fertility yoga and breath in a room. OB did not recommend doing HSG. The FSH was slightly high at 9.3. AMH is good at the lower end of ideal. (wife is telling me this I don't know what any of this means). She takes a bunch of pills, folate, vitamin e, um... other stuff I can't keep track half our pantry is filled with pill bottles. I need to take fertilaid 3 times a day (if i can remember), vitamin d, l arginine, zinc, probably other stuff I'm forgetting, vitamin c, potassium... she is drinking wheat grass juice?


  6. #5
    FertilePanic
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    Also, thank you for taking the time to share you stories as well as reply. It is appreciated


  7. #6
    Romy69
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    Stay away from family and friends...you DON'T need the added stress!

    You need to be diagnosed. There is a medical explanation in most cases why couples can't conceive. There are also cases where both parties are fine but baby doesn't happen. In cases like those IVF works most of the time.

    Don't do IUI unless your FS says that it could worth trying. IUI is not for everyone and some times is sheer waist of money and emotions. I have the feeling that your DW has read awful lot and she has kind of made a plan for future treatments. My advice, scrap everything you guys have read till now and hear what the FS has to say. The scan he'll do on her will be the first stepping stone. Take with you all the bloodwork you've done as well as any other test results. That will save you lots of money and give him a bit of clarity.

    Ok, my 2c...it takes 3 months for both the sperm and the egg to mature. So if you guys are taking supplements, they will only affect the quality of egg and sperm on the 3rd month after you started taking them. It's great you are seeing a FS.
    So, why don't you just relax this month, take it easy and have fun. Stress and being intimate on schedule is hardly any fun. In order for you to produce good quality sperm, you should be active every 3 - 4 days and obviously during ovulation. When my DH had to give a sample, they gave us carte blanch to have fun up until 72 hours before he was to give a sample. It does ensure that they get as good quality sample as they can. Hope, I'm not opening Pandora box here.

    I had a terrible egg quality with Clomid (we had a natural cycle converted to IVF since I produced 6 eggs on clomid) at the same age as your DW, but it could be just me. The embyos were just horrid. Clomid is not for everyone. What is her AMH? I'm a firm believer of having a Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy. Sorry, but your OB is not quite right.

    Be ware that if you take too many supplements, you might just end up with very expensive pee. What I found great as a supplement is Maca tablets. I had to take 6 x 500mg per since the recommended amount is 3000mg. Maybe read on it. But please, don't take everything everyone else is taking. The only time your DW will know if her eggs are good is if you guys do an IVF and this is the time that you'll also know if your embryos are of good quality.
    Cutting alcohol is great. My FS said I can have up to 3 coffees per day.

    So not to stress you out any further....summing it up...have fun this month and preferably do it because you both want it and if baby happens, all the better!
    See the FS and hear what he has to say. I have a lot of respect for some of them since they are really trying hard to get you to the finish line. Jot down a list of questions. Let DW do hers and you do yours if you guys want.


  8. #7
    Patient-One
    LET THE JOURNEY CONTINUE!!!
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    Why doesn't the doctor want her to do the HSG? This could tell if there is any blockage. My RE had me do the saline ultrasound I forget why. I agree with everything everyone else said.
    ME - 38, DH - 45
    IVF - 01/12, ER - 06 Feb, ET - 09 Feb
    BETA #1 - 80.3 (12dp3dt), #2 - 183.6 (15dp3dt) - b/g twins
    Ruptured Membrane 06/16/12 - Maximus
    Born at 23 weeks 03 July 12 - 23 July 12 - Anaya
    FET - March 2014 - BFN
    IVF 2 - 08/2015, ER - 13 Aug, ET 18 Aug
    BETA #1 - 84 (9dp5dt), #2 - 225 (11dp5dt), #3 - 1303 (15dp5dt) - 4/15/16
    FET2 - around 26 Jun 17


  9. #8
    FertilePanic
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    I think the doctor doesn't want to do HSG because she got pregnant twice. Her AMH is 4.0 NG/ML. Lab range .9-9.5. We have a bag of Maca Powder, can't say I'm a fan and it is in those FertilAid pills I'm taking but maybe I'll start mixing more of that in some different things. Probably in two weeks will be time to try again.


  10. #9
    Romy69
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    Oh, you are a brave man to swallow that crappy staff in a powder form! I tried it in yogurt and etc and it was just awful each time. The tablets were much more palatable. 3000mg is a level teaspoon full if you were wondering about the quantity.

    If you don't mind me asking, what happened to the two pregnancies? Her AMH is great! I really hope the FS has answers for you guys.

    Tubes can get blocked even if you've fallen pregnant before, there is no guarantee. Hope the OB is right cause HSG is a horrid procedure and so, so painful. Won't blame your DW if she's reluctant to do it.


  11. #10
    FertilePanic
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    Two MCs


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