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Help! I am jealous of my husband to surrogate mother(((

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  1. #11
    Kathy47
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    Your surrogate mother must look pretty if your husband pays her attention. I think you should not worry. You should just find something positive in it too. It means that your surrogate mother is a healthy woman. And it is great that you have a contact with her. It means that you install connection with your baby through your surrogate mother. Yes, she is really lucky one. And is she married? Does she have children?


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  3. #12
    Kathy47
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    I am sure that everything will be wonderful when she gives birth to a baby. You should me calmer. You can dedicate more time to your health, too. Because the first months are very difficult with newborn. They often cry all day and all night. So your husband and you will be very busy with your newborn. And you will forget about your worries concerning the surrogate mother.


  4. #13
    Micy1575
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    She looks very pretty!!! She has blond hair and blue eyes. She is tall enough. And I don’t understand their language, but she looks very clever and understanding person. She is well mannered. I cannot understand how girl with such features agreed for surrogacy. She is divorced and has two very handsome children. I always try to be calmer(( But when I see her… When I see my husband near her. I feel like my heart stopped beating. And I feel alone and unnecessary. I believe that my husband still love me, but don’t feel it, I just remember it. I feel not so good physically(( I thinks it is because of nerves, I eat bad and often feel sick. I think I need to check my hormones, I haven’t regulate periods. It can be that all my feelings are just because of the problems with hormones. I feel better only when I think about my baby. I remember our shared touch through the surrogates bally. I just afraid of thing that when I think about my child, when I imagine him, always surrogate appears in my thoughts. What if it would be always in my head?


  5. #14
    Kathy47
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    Please, look at this situation from another side. Remember that it is always possible to find positive points in every situation. You seem to be concentrated only in worries. She is good-looking and healthy. Moreover, she had healthy children. This fact proves and increases chances for successful bearing and delivery. You must be happy. We all know that using surrogate mother to help you bear your child is very controversial issue. And one of the most frustrating parts of the surrogacy process is that it is very difficult to find a surrogate mother. Surrogate performs very special function. It shouldn’t be just woman. It should be a person who is willing to become the birth mother. She must take care about the baby during the nine months. It is very great job complied by her. You don’t think about the right things. You’d better think about your surrogate’s mother health. There are a lot of common side effects of pregnancy such as sore and tender breasts, weight gain, morning sickness, constipation, hemorrhoids. But these effects are even not the worst of all the possible. There are many uncommon side effects you may not have heard of before. When the woman is pregnant, her body has an increased amount of blood. Thus she tends to retain water. This can cause a number of side effects. Each woman take risk with pregnancy. Especially it is a big risk for surrogate health. Sometimes it is even hard to imagine the consequences. For example, fluid retention can lead to corpal tunnel syndrome and vision changes. Pregnant women also are at risk of developing diabetes. It is called "Gestational Diabetes". So you’d better worry her health and your baby. I think you are really very lucky person. Nowadays it is not an easy task to find a good surrogate mother. And it has been always so. There are a lot of consequences of pregnancy. It’s like a lottery. You never know what to expect. Because not everything depends on us. Moreover, it very hard to find a really healthy woman. I heard that popular countries for surrogacy are India and Thailand. However, there are so many horrible stories. A lot of clinics or agencies just couldn’t provide a healthy surrogate couples. I heard it is a common practice in India. The couples can wait for months for appropriate surrogate mother. The couples can be offered only with surrogate mother who has infections or diabetes. Initially they could talk about databases. That just could turn out to be faked.I think very few women can dare to play the role of surrogate mother. So give up your doubts and worries. Try to think in more positive way. Truly speaking, I am very surprised with the description of your surrogate mother. She looks like a model. I am very interested where undergoing surrogacy program are? Where is it possible to find so beautiful surrogates? Did you choose her with your husband? Or did your agency or clinic choose her for you? How long did you have to wait for your surrogate mother? I know that some couples have to wait for several months. And some even didn’t receive because of real lack of surrogates.


  6. #15
    Micy1575
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    Are you kidding me? I am very surprised with your words! We came in clinic. Everything was ok there. I think this journey was very simple for me. It was the first clinic we decided to choose. They propose the package with guarantee for a single price. It was cheap enough, only 30.000 euro. Everything was included. We even were met by taxi driver in airport. In clinic everything was simple and clear. We submitted medical examinations. Doctor read my medical history and results of the test. After she told that she can propose me unlimited attempts with my own eggs. We signed the agreement. After we did the first payment. A nurse gave me all medications according the protocol. Manager told me that sometimes it takes some time to find appropriate surrogate mother. In near a month or just a little less my manager called me and told that I can start stimulation. It took a month. After I came in Kiev for peak up. After five days embryo transfer was done. We went home. And after two weeks we were informed that our surrogate was pregnant. We didn’t choose surrogate mother. Doctor told that her appearance doesn’t matter. The most important for pregnancy is her health. But only doctor can check it. They asked us to trust them and be in a positive mood. A child should want to come here. And we were very happy. We saw our surrogate only on the first ultrasound. Concerning surrogate mothers we saw in clinic pregnant women and they were so charming, some of them were very handsome. And we saw many young girls, I think they are donors. I want to say that Ukrainian girls are very beautiful.


  7. #16
    Kathy47
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    I just want to emphasize that you should be satisfied with your surrogate mother. To some extent she also influences the baby. She is carrying your child. Yes, she is not connected to the baby genetically. But after making up her decision to carry him or her in her baby she gets responsible for the child. According to your words your surrogate is good-looking and nice. It means that she is living in good conditions. She might have balanced psyche. These months are very important for the baby. In any case you shouldn’t express your irritation or worries to your surrogate when you see her. Remember, that she is carrying your child. When you wrote that your surrogate is a beautiful woman I thought about Ukraine. But I was not sure. I heard a lot of times that Ukrainian women are incredible attractive. Perhaps for this reason surrogacy and egg donation develop fast in Ukraine. I still have an opinion that you should be satisfied. Look, for example, at Mexican or Indian surrogates. Most of them are infected or have other severe diseases. I don’t understand your priorities. Would you like to have unhealthy and unattractive surrogate? Maybe in this case your husband wouldn’t pay so much attention to her. And would you be happy knowing that your baby can be under the risk with such surrogate mother? I think dozens of women would like to be in your place. Look around. There is a lack of healthy surrogates. I know cases in India when couples have to wait for months for a proper surrogate. That’s why you look very lucky. You surrogate mother is healthy and young. You also have good contract terms. I think your program is very good. You seem to have all the trumps in hands. By the way do you know will it be a boy or a girl? You can start choosing baby clothes or reading book about care of newborn child. In general, start preparing for baby’s coming. When is going to be the delivery?


  8. #17
    Micy1575
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    Kathy, thank you for your words) I am so sorry, but I won’t tell you about delivery. I am very superstitious. Sometimes when I tell something earlier that it should be, it breaks my plans. Moreover, everything is changed) And I think God gave me back my husband) I am shocked, but I am pregnant) Doctors think that stimulation that was done in clinic before picking up my eggs did something strange with my body. I forgot about my periods, because they were unregularly. I guess that’s why I had so unstable depressive mood. My husband is very happy. I had pregnancies, but lost it very early on the second week. Now it is third month) I believe I will be able to birth my baby) But there is one more problem. But what will be the consequences during child registration? But is it impossible if I am pregnant… Managers from clinic are shocked, but they told me that I shouldn’t worry, they will find a solution. But I still worry. Baby in the womb of surrogate is also mine. But we are so happy) It is unbelievable to feel a baby inside)


  9. #18
    Kathy47
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    You are welcome Sorry for my question. I didn’t want to confuse you. I know that you have worries. Concerning your pregnancy it is unbelievably. How can it be possible? I have never heard such stories. Please, accept my congratulations. You deserve such happiness. And what is about your husband? How does he treat with you now? He must take much care of you. Your husband and you will be both feel pleasure of parenthood. You will have happy nuclear family of four. I am sure that it is possible to find solution in any situation. I hope the managers of the clinic will do the best. If it is a reliable institution they will not leave you alone. However, I can’t understand how it works. The doctors must have stimulated so well. They must provoked such reaction to the organism. By the way, where did you do the procedure?


  10. #19
    Micy1575
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    Kathy, it is also unbelievable for me)))) Actually I had pregnancies before. The problem is that I lost it on the small stage of the pregnancy after ivf treatment(( It was because of my uterus. I have septate uterus. And after many miscarriages I stopped getting pregnant. And doctors told that I haven’t chances. That’s why together with hubby we decided to try surrogacy treatment. It is ok with my eggs. So it will be biologically our child, we didn’t use donation. I had stimulation for growing my eggs. I don’t know, I am not qualified enough to state that particularly stimulation influenced my uterus. But I am pregnant) Before the longest period I had my pregnancy was two weeks. Now it is eleven weeks!!! I don’t know how it is possible. I have got congratulations from clinic. Manager told that I shouldn’t worry and should take care myself. They told that they are very happy and it shouldn’t be any problems with child registration, even if I will be still pregnant. I hope for it very much)) My husband said sorry to me for his behavior. He told that he didn’t deserve me. Actually we were talking for a long time and I hope we solved all our problems) I am very very very happy. By the way you were interested in clinic. It is very good Ukrainian clinic, called Biotexcom. They are very popular as I know. There were a lot of foreign clients. As I know their treatment methods just a little bit differ. They are very professional and attentive. I could recommend this clinic. And their prices are very low. All service they provide is included in one price. I lived in their flat, and it was good enough. And by the way Ukraine is very beautiful country. And it is worth to be visited.


  11. #20
    Kathy47
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    One more time I am assured that the life is so unpredictable. Nobody knows how it will be. Sometimes the life gives us a lot of surprises. Some of them are pleasant, some of them are not. I am sure that whatever happens happens for the best. That’s why we need to accept all the changes with understanding. The life can give us gifts for our patience.That happened with you. I am sure that you deserved it. The feeling for being mother is one of the most precious in our life. Now you can also see that you were wrong concerning your husband. He didn’t express his care to your surrogate mother as to a woman. He just expressed it to a woman that was carrying his child. You must be happy with your husband.He is so attentive and caring. For me your story sounds as a miracle. I have always known that the sincerest dreams may come true. I didn’t know this clinic before. I am no so well aware about Ukrainian clinics. Is it really so popular? What do they exactly do? What kind of services do they provide with? I am new at the fertility issues. But I am very interested in this topic. I can’t conceive for three years. So I am interested in IVF or something like that. I am pleasantly surprised that the reproductive assisted technologies can do such wonders. As for me I am extremely happy for you.


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