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I know what I want... but how do I...?

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  1. #1
    Welwyn1992
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    I know what I want... but how do I...?

    Hi there everyone. Welwyn1992 here... but you can call me Harry if you wish. I'm twenty-three years old; I just moved out of my parents place on Vancouver Island to Metro Vancouver; and currently I'm in-between jobs, but I have a vision for the future. Before I elaborate on that though, I'll tell a little more about my past.

    In 2004 I immigrated to Canada from the UK with my immediate family (two parents and younger sister) and we eventually settled on Vancouver Island, near Victoria. There was one thing I had always wanted but never had... a little brother. I found a friend almost five years younger than myself when we moved into our new home, and we had some great times together. When our friendship went off the rails three years later I coped by creating my own fictitious little brother, based on my younger friend in various stories I wrote - and still write to this day. The thing is now though... I want the little brother I created to be my little boy - my son.

    I think the best analogy for the yearning and most deep, desperate desire of my heart is Gepetto from 'Pinocchio' in which he says: "I wish that my little Pinocchio might be a real boy."
    A couple of months ago I had started writing a story about my future-self with my fictitious seven-year old son (Timothy) embarking on a journey to Disneyland California in Anaheim. It was such a heartwarming thought... I could almost hear the plastic training wheels on his bike rattling along the sidewalk and picture his little face gleaming as he saw the bullet trains arriving, departing and sailing through the modern Diridon station - which also has yet to become reality. Unfortunately I stopped writing it and disposed of it for a couple of reasons - mainly because the critique I received was that my writing was empty and lacked voice - even though it came from my own heart. Secondly I was becoming enthralled with the timeline I was creating and that I would expect things to happen just the way I was writing them.

    The thing is though... I've fallen in love with a little boy I created in my own imagination and I long more than anything to hear his little voice, to feel his little heart beating. Every day I think about him and how much more beautiful life could be if he were here with me. It hurts, but the little bit of comfort is that the future I want is within my grasp. It just depends on what happens over the next five years.
    I've even started collecting things... like the bike I mentioned earlier. I know it'll probably be fourteen years from now before my son starts riding it, but seeing it just brings me comfort. I'm also looking for a specific pair of flame shorts that my friend used to wear, for Timothy. https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8239/8...be5c3f13_o.jpg

    I'm asexual... I haven't ruled out finding a soulmate (of either gender) at this stage; but I know I want Timothy to be a part of my future. Whether it's through natural birth, adoption, surrogacy, or even something completely experimental.

    Thanks for reading.


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  3. #2
    SC-Faith32
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    Good luck on your journey. Information is the best knowledge, so just keep researching all avenues.
    Me-36 (endo 2002), DH-42 (perfect)
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  4. #3
    Welwyn1992
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    Just replying to this now because as open as I was in my original post, there's a lot more to what I'm dreaming and the main reason I joined and posted here was to inquire about possibilities and hopefully make some friends with prospective parents who might have similar dreams to mine - or just to talk with those who might be inquisitive and curious.

    My little boy - Timothy, is merely a figment of my imagination at this point. I created him as a character in stories I write (including some of my future self) with him as an anthropomorphic raccoon, or as a human boy. I based him off of a neighbor who was a good friend of mine for a few years, he was like a little brother to me and that was the thing I wanted most in my childhood, but alas I never did have a real little brother.
    I've been looking into a lot of information regarding surrogacy, IVF, and the like - but what really appealed to me was cloning technology. Normally when one searches about such a controversial topic they're talking about raising a clone of themselves - whereas I want to raise a clone of someone else; the neighbor who is still a good friend to my family. (Only few people know about this, my immediate family members and they've not voiced any concerns). It's all still highly experimental and probably at least five years away from becoming reality - it is at this point in time I intend to take the necessary actions to help bring my little Timothy to life, in the meantime building myself a career that pays enough for me to own a house and be able to care for Timothy as a single-parent when the blessed day he comes into this world arrives.

    We live on a beautiful planet with many adventures to be had, and I long more than anything to share them with Timothy.
    This is one of a few articles I've read regarding the above subject of cloning: Boyalife Group says it has the technology to clone people | Fusion

    In short, I envision Timothy being born to a surrogate mother (or my partner if I should find Mrs. Right in the next five years), using DNA from someone most precious to me - and with a few genetic modifications to give Timothy his uniqueness from his DNA's host. I know - cloning is a highly controversial topic in itself, but I believe this is the path I wish to take.


    Below is an scene I commissioned an artist to draw of myself and my little boy, set approximately 14.5 years from now in May, 2031:
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    ---


  5. #4
    luna87
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    Last edited by luna87; 07-07-2019 at 10:03 PM.


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