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Gay Marriage and Parent Legal Rights

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  1. #1
    kdhma
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    Cool Gay Marriage and Parent Legal Rights

    My partner is pregnant and due in March. We are in MA and are trying to find out if getting married before the pregnancy gives me any legal parental rights. I'm guessing I have to adopt outright.

    Any thoughts?

    Karen


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  3. #2
    Ellie Mae
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    I'm barging in, and I don't know the answer. I would be interested to know the answer though. It seems that if the marriage is legal, that the parental establishment would already be done...but I don't know. I'll check back and see if someone else chimes in.


    16 15 13 6 5/05






  4. #3
    AmyP
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    Hi Karen - Congratulations and welcome to the board. I am embarrassed to admit - I don't know the answer to your question, but I'll check around!
    Amy

    Mom to Mia
    born Guatemala 4/2/2000
    home to Boston 7/5/2001


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    wintak
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    That's IT...I'm moving back to MA where all you cool people are!

    have no idea...but wish you luck and CONGRATULATIONS

    AMy


  6. #5
    kdhma
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    Hi Everyone,

    Thanks for the replies. I'm researching this as well, but so far no firm answer. Keep MA in your thoughts since our legislature voted to take the question of whether gay marriage should stay legal to the general public for a vote, so we may lose it all again afterall.

    Karen


  7. #6
    dizlizw
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    I am pretty sure that you have to adopt outright. I am an attorney in IL and although we do not recognize gay marraige we do recognize 2nd parent adoption. If I was you I would adopt outright because other states that do not recognize gay marraige likely will not recognize any parental relationship formed through marraige. For some reason states are more likely to recognize a "legally formed" parental relationship, that is a relationship formed through adoption versus one formed through marraige.

    It is always better for you and your family to have more protection. I don't know if you and your partner have estate planning documents in order (for example a will or a trust) but I would highly recommend that you do that ASAP...before the birth if at all possible. God forbid something happens to her during the delivery you want to make sure that you are protected and have all parental rights to that kid. You cannot adopt the child before it is born so the only way to prevent the State from stepping in (if something happens to the birth mother before any final adoption) is to provide for guardianship through a will or trust or some other instrument. You can always email me if you need more info.


  8. #7
    wintak
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    Wow diz...great info. WE are somewhat protected, but not totally. Really need to do that, but there are SO many hoops to jump through and so much $$ that needs to be thrown out there for this and that etc.

    Man, this would be easier if it was just recognized. Tax wise, too

    Amy


  9. #8
    AmyP
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    Quote Originally Posted by wintak
    That's IT...I'm moving back to MA where all you cool people are!

    have no idea...but wish you luck and CONGRATULATIONS

    AMy
    Yeah - we are all like WICKED cool!
    Amy

    Mom to Mia
    born Guatemala 4/2/2000
    home to Boston 7/5/2001


  10. #9
    wintak
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    OMG...that's EXACTLY what my relatives all say out in Greenfield MA. Even the adults..the ones OLDER than me!

    Wicked COol

    Cracks me up

    And the relatives near boston say..

    SUPAH....(for super). So if i do something wonderful, they say..SU pah.

    Love the talk from there. LOVE IT.

    Amy


  11. #10
    Minxy3
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    Lizwiz,

    Would the marriage cover us in MA? I understand the adoption would cover us in more states, but it also costs a lot more. Also, there are states that don't recognize the same sex-second parent adoption like FL. This is what it is in WI where my partner's family is:

    Wisconsin
    Permits single GLBT adoption. Does not clearly prohibit joint gay adoption. Second-parent adoption prohibited.

    So would there be any point to spending the money on the second-parent adoption?

    What about step-parent adoption?

    Susan


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