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Wintak

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  1. #1
    hkilleen
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    Wintak

    Hey girl!

    I responded to your drooling post...YIKES!! Not as cute from a toddler as it is with a baby I know Hayden went though bouts of putting stuff into his mouth, even just a few months ago. Well, forgetting that he does put stuff into his mouth to carry as he crawls through the house being a tiger

    Are you guys all better now? I didn't notice how old the other post was. Hope so!! You and the family have been hit hard this year with the sickness stuff.

    What are your plans for Valentines Day? I was trying to think of something romantic but can't picture a nice bubble bath with floating candles, music with Hayden involved!! Too bad it's on a Tuesday. Probably would never find a sitter for a Tuesday night. Well, considering I only let Loni's sister babysit once in a blue moon, it will be impossible. I don't even know what to get her for Valentines Day. I guess after 11 years, the options have mostly been taken. I'm trying hard to think of something though. Seems like with work and activities and just daily living we are beginning to loose some of the romance. Any ideas?

    We haven't talked about having another baby much. I think Loni knows now that there is no way we can afford another IVF, financially or emotionally, without the results being guaranteed positive which would never happen. So, I was thinking of taking her out to dinner and talking more about the Legally Free adoption stuff. The more I think about it, maybe this is what we are meant to do. Why else would that option be calling to me like it is? AND she needs to keep in mind, I do not want Hayden to be an only child. I know I would be more and more resentful the rest of my days if I did not adopt a child, for the 2 of us as parents and for Hayden too.

    I think we found a pre-school!! It's a Montessori Co-op but you can pay double the tuition, which is only like $80.00 a month for 3 days, and not work at all. The break would be good for me!! It's 3 days a week, 3 hours a day. I could take a shopping break or get a pedicure or just run errands without Hayden in tow. Much better for the both of us!! He so desperatly needs to get away from me!! I think I'm making him crazy!! It makes me sad but I really think I give him too much attention, jump at any whine he makes and do everything for him. I just can't get away from my whole world revolving around him. He is always first with me. I will forgo brushing my teeth if he wants me to until the afternoon when he is napping because he wanted to watch Zabo with me? I think I've turned crazy or something!! That does not sound right for someone other than an infant or a sick child!!

    Oh ya. I think we are skipping Disneyland this summer. Michelle, Loni's sister was really looking forward to going with us with her 2 kids and her husband then she got laid off from her job of 14 years. So, she starts a new one in April but can't justify taking 2-3 weeks off that soon. She asked if we could do a local trip for a week and then do Disneyland next year when she is a little more settled into her new job. We agreed. Hayden will still have fun next year!!

    The laundry is calling! Hear from you soon?
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to Hayden 3 years old!!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET


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  3. #2
    wintak
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    I did hear your laundry calling...and then MY laudry got the idea it was time for ME to do it...again. I'm telling you...potty training makes you do much more laundry.

    DP is now sick with another bad cold. EGads. I'll be glad when this is all over.

    I am an only child and I hated it. PLease don't be offended anyone who reads this and either IS an only child or has opted to have one child. My friend is also an only child and she LOVED it....different strokes

    I was not going to let Ethan be an only child if I could help it...and now he has a sibling. Man o man would I love to do that again....I didn't mind being pg, wasn't excited about the c-section...buy overall....even with the scares and complications later...if it worked again..I'd be ok with it.

    Right now we're not in a great situation to be doing the FET yet. I realistically should get a job (which means sending Hannah to daycare which breaks my heart) and then do the FET once I have all major medical.

    I'm glad Hayden is going to be able to go to school! Is he excited? Has he started yet? I need to be away from Ethan...he drives me freakin crazy most days. I have more patience for the baby than for Ethan...HE NEEDS TO GO TO SCHOOL...but on one salary, we can't afford it. And he's not 100% potty trained, so that doesn't help! He's getting better. we're trying not to make a big deal about "accidents" and trying TO make a big deal when he goes potty. Trying to get rid of the control issue.

    Too bad about Disneyland...maybe next year!

    Amy


  4. #3
    hkilleen
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    Hey there. Sorry that took me so long!! I think we got struck with like a dozen illnesses in the past 2 months. It seems like one of us has been sick non-stop!! This week seems to be so good so far. Hopefully we can hang onto that good string!!

    So. I found something that Capital One Credit Cards offer. You can go to their web-site to check it out. It's basically a BIG amount of money for a REALLY low interest rate. I think they even call it a fertility loan. I was thinking of applying for it. I keep going back and forth with the IVF thing, adoption thing and just TTC at home for awhile. We never did try it that way. Maybe low tech would work for us. Not so much pressure on me and not so many invasive medical procedures. I just don't know. I think I am going to go get a BBT and one of those spendy fertility monitors and start charting for a few months. Maybe when the end of the summer is over, I can have enough info to try a ICI at home. I wish I knew someone who would hand me some fresh sperm!! But since that is out, the CCB will be in. I have to just check it out. I am feeling less pressured though. I was feeling like I HAD to get pregnant like RIGHT away. Not sure what I thought was going to happen but I did. I'm getting over that. I'm also getting over feeling sorry for myself, blaming myself for the FET not working out and not feeling like they just told me that I could NEVER EVER be pregnant again in my whole life. I'm only 31....I still have a lot of time left. So, I think that is my plan. Loni just is not going for the adoption thing. She just turns it into a bad idea every time I bring it up. I think she likes me being pregnant as much as I do!!

    Hopefully things will change for you gals and you can start your FET. I know you really want to have another one in your house. You know, finances are an interesting thing. You will never really be ready to pay the kind of money we have to pay to get pregnant or to raise a child. The interesting part is that things always work themselves out. If it's meant to be, it will be.

    Hayden doesn't start school until September. I'm taking his classes down to just swimming for the summer and planning lots of fun day trips for us to take. We are also taking a short trip to Phoenix to see my family there, my father is coming for 2 weeks for a visit and we are thinking hard about going to see my sister in Fairbanks in July. We will have to see what Saturday turns out like, tax day for us!!

    So, things are going here. I'm ready for Spring and a little sunshine. It's always so gray here. Even if it's not rainy this time of year, the sun rarely shines.

    Hope all is going well there. What did you decide about being home vs. working anyway? That post is getting a little old

    Heather
    Last edited by hkilleen; 03-02-2006 at 06:22 PM.
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET


  5. #4
    wintak
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    OMG! THis post didn't even show up for me that it needed responding to. Gheez louise.

    OK, so had an interview last Thursday. Me and 4 interviewers. People on the left side of the table didn't SMIRK at anything I said, people on the right side did. And at the end of the interview the guy on the left stood up and said "Thanks for coming in, I'll walk you out". SO, that basically says..thanks but no thanks. That's ok, still not sure I can leave the baby yet.

    Haven't done taxes yet....egadszooks..Usually they're done in Feb and I've already go the $$ back. How did tax day go for you guys? You must file single? I hate that. I hate that DP can file using ds as a deduction and I have to file using dd as a deduction, even though they're brother and sister and we equally raise them! DARN IT

    Sounds like you might do tons of travelling this summer! Good for you!

    I actually have bookmarked the Capital One fertility loan stuff. It was on my dr's website and I clicked over and VIOLA! an option if we need it.

    I BBt'd, OPK'd and all that. They still can't tell me why I didn't get pg w/o the IVF.

    I can't wait for FET...I know I"m probably WAY to excited and have unrealistic hopes about it working..but who knows, right? In a way I'd like a boy...a brother for ds...but I gotta tell you...ds (who is now 3) is a terror these days! Don't know that I can deal with that again. I'm hoping and praying dd doesn't have HALF the temper ds does.

    He's totally given up on being potty trained. He was pretty good...poopies ALWAYS in the potty and only the occassional accident with the pee. NO MORE. We're back to full time diapers. I'm at my wits end. This too, shall pass..right?

    And Yes, at 31 you have TONS of time left. I'm the one that might be rapidly running out of time..I'll be 40 this year. but the tots on ice are from 38 year old eggs...so that's in my favor, right?

    In a perfect world, I'd go back to work, get the insurance, do the FET after a couple months working there, get pg, have 12 months of work under my belt, go out on mat leave and have the fmla to fall back on. THAT is what I would like. May or may not happen.

    Sorry I didn't see the response to the post. Let me know what the tax man saideth....How many vacations can you take this year?!?!

    Amy


  6. #5
    hkilleen
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    Hey there!
    We actually did pretty darn good this year!! Yes, we have to file separately but kind of to our benefit. I then qualify for some Earned Income Credit because on paper, I'm low income So, that gave me back about $1500.00 without making any money this year. I did pay into Social Security though, about $175.00 or so. Loni claims Hayden and our house and the rental that we have, and the other investment stuff... she got back about $6500.00. I know!!! It would be so much easier to just file together!! Then again, I think married people get some kind of penalty? Anyway, Hayden is adopted by Loni in that Step Parent thing so he can go either way. Just better for us since she makes all the money in the house.

    Bummer about the potty!! I saw on-line a Urinal. It was like $40.00 and said that it really helped with boys that can be a little more stubborn. It was SOOOO CUTE!! I would have gotten it but Hayden just uses the regular toilet, always has. Not even the little potty!! So, I just told Hayden one day that we did not have any diapers and that he had to wear underwear. Of course, I could have NEVER produced another diaper or it would have never worked. You would just have to hang in there with the accidents. Get one of those hand held carpet cleaners and hang onto your sanity Just at bed-time I got him some of those Good Nite pull-ups. He had a few accidents, maybe 8 or so. I only kept a shirt on him so that at first we did not have to struggle with clothing. I took him to the bathroom every 30 minutes for 2 weeks solid. He even started pooping no problem. I thought it was something that would happen overnight or in like a week. All said, I think I can honestly say he was potty trained, telling me he had to go pee, not having accidents and me not having to take him in there constantly in about a month. Not nearly as soon as I thought it would go. I started right after his 3rd Birthday and thought then I should have done it sooner. Just stick with it. Give him another month or so and then start it up again. Some kids just take longer. I wouldn't be worried about hit. Most boys I think are not potty trained until they are like 3 or 4. The good thing is that most of the girls that I know were potty trained, quickly but about 2.5. They seem to like it much better!! I think boys are just so busy. Oh ya! You could try the M&M thing. Give him just 1 M&M for each pee pee and 2 for each poo poo. Of course that means no other candy during that time. Another friend of mine put the little trainer potty in her living room and put her son on it every 15 minutes. He also did not wear bottoms around the house at all. We still work on getting his clothing back on again, he wants to take all of his bottoms all of the way off to pee and he is still working on calling me when he poops to come wipe him. He will come out to the family room and tell me he needs to we wiped, after walking through the house to get to me Toddlers are funny creatures!!

    Sorry to hear you are having some trouble with him. We started having some problems with Hayden a few months ago with hitting and yelling. He started getting really bad about it. We are really mild tempured and NEVER yell. So, I started telling him to "talk in his nice voice" and would not respond to him unless he did. That worked. I also started instantly putting him into his bedroom for 3 minutes if he hit or tried to hit anyone, no exceptions no delays. Hayden also does not like us to show any distain for anything he does. So, I would tell him,"That makes Mommy very angry that you hit. It hurts when you hit people. Now you have to go to your room for a break." Then I would go get him and make him apologize to whomever he tried to hit and also to me for making me angry with him. He did it maybe 5 times and quickly got that was not fun. I also feel like I'm constantly saying,"Use your words" and then telling him what to say in whatever situation we are in. This is a hard age. They want to be so independant but still need so much from us. I also notice, that if I'm engrossed in something and have not sat with him much doing any kind of activity, he is more apt to act out. He needs a lot of attention and a lot pf play time with us. My fault!! My kid is an attention junky!! AND...the first rule of toddler hood, they are almost always hungry or tired when they are melting down.

    Take care and let me know how things are going!
    Heather
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET


  7. #6
    wintak
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    Thanks Heather

    Ethan was peeing and pooping pretty well...then just stopped. ANd of course we can't get out of him WHY he wants to wear the diaper again. I think I'll try your way of just saying no more diapers..period. But I'll give him another couple weeks to sort out whatever it is he needs to sort out.

    Someone on the 3-5 board said they did the same thing. NO DIAPERS..you are a big boy. You hear about all these psychologists that say if you screw up potty training, you'll screw the kid up for life. Don't know that I buy that, but if it's true....dont' want to screw him up, know what i mean?

    E (what we call him sometimes) is an attention junky, too. I think they all are at this point. Especially with a new baby in the house. I think I'm going to tape record me saying...Be Gentle, please be careful, Ethan, let her play with her own toys, you play with your toys, Ethan, say you're sorry to your sister.

    I say those phrases OVER AND OVER AND OVER...and every day we have some sort of issue.

    He's already driving me crazy today starting at about 7am. I think it's going to be a long day...BUT it's Friday! HIP HIP HOORAY

    Glad you guys are getting $$ back. But...i"m sure you knew this...if you have LESS $$ taken out of your paycheck (or rather DP's paycheck) then each pay period you have MORE money in your pocket. I'm sure you've heard the age old addage...when you get a big refund, it's because you gave the IRS an interest free loan for a year.

    AND...in front of my mother and my grandmother....what did ds (and I use that term loosely right now) do to me? BIT ME! He hasn't bitten in YEARS...since HE got bit right below the eye by another child. He obviously didn't want me talking adult talk, but we had to...we're trying to coax MY grandmother into assisted living, and he bit my elbow. I couldn't believe it. THAT got him a stern look and told to go play with his toys in the other room. And he did...with no if and or's or butts...so he KNEW he was in trouble.

    Maybe it's springtime....maybe once the season officially changes...he'll chill out. Or I'm going to have to go to work to afford some sort of pre-school/daycare for him to get him potty trained and get him with other kids more than I do now. But on the flip side, if I go to work to get him in some sort of activity.....then dd has to go to daycare and THAT is not what I want at this point. Rock me Hard place

    Amy


  8. #7
    hkilleen
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    You know, just when they really start to drive you crazy and you don't think you can take it anymore, they change into a perfect angel again Sounds like Ethan is on the edge!!

    Don't get me wrong, I told Hayden we just didn't have any more diapers and that we could not go to the store because they were closed. I always do everything VERY gently and at his pace. I would not have started that if I did not think he was ready, even if he was like 5!! We are child led parents. Please!! I let my son nurse on demand until he was 23 months old and HE decided to give it up!! Maybe E just is not ready. Maybe he sees the extra attention DD gets when she needs a change and he misses that time with you and DP. It's hard to say but give it a month or so and try him again. Each child is different. What works for one probably won't work for another

    Oh my!! Biting?? I don't even have an idea of what to say. Was he pretending he was a tiger or something? Hayden pretends to bite when he is playing that he is some kind of animal that may bite. YIKES!!

    Well, have a good weekend. Try to get out of the house a little BY YOURSELF!! I started meeting a girlfriend of mine Saturday mornings for about 2 hours at a local Starbucks. We have to start at 7:00am but whatever works!! Just a few hours and I feel like a new woman, ready to conquer my house and everything in it!!

    Take care!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to Hayden 3 years old!!



    Have a good weekend!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to Hayden 3 years old!!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET


  9. #8
    wintak
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    OK....so the saga continues. E had been so good about potty for some unknown reason on Thurs and Fri....UNTIL...he got mad at me and DP. So he's in his toyroom and he says

    "maybe we'll try potty training tomorrow"

    I turn, look at him and say "WHAT?!? Are you peeing your pants now?"

    Shakes head in the affirmative. I tell him in a louder voice than probably I needed...GET IN THE BATHROOM!

    He runs to the bathroom...I come in no more than 20 seconds later and he's just standing there, pants up and everything PEEING ALL OVER HIMSELF!!!

    I put a diaper on him and told him to continue to pick up his toys before bedtime, which is what pissed him off in the first place.

    SO, DP and I talk and decided to take strong action. NO MORE DIAPERS. NONE

    So, once he was done we talked to him and told him that was the last diaper we had for him and now he's in undies all the time. His face was PRICELESS. He started to cry..."I want a diaper". Nope...we're done. Tears come out....Screams come out.."I want my diaper"

    So in those training pants he went, off to bed he went and yes, I had laundry to do today, but at nap time we did the same thing...no diaper...tears, I WANT MY DIAPER, but you know...he stayed dry. He's been perfect all day today and neither one of us has said a word good or bad about potty.

    SO...he totally proved my point, which was A) he has the skills, knowledge and ability to potty and B) he's using it as a power struggle

    WE WIN!

    Amy


  10. #9
    hkilleen
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    That is fabulous news Amy! Way to go girl!! So, I assume he is now using the potty for the lack of a diaper and not wanting to just pee and poo himself all day long? Your actually better than me. Hayden still has a pull up at night and for haps. Partly because I just can't deal with all the laundry!!

    Yeah Ethan!!

    Take care!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to Hayden 3 years old!!
    Heather
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET


  11. #10
    wintak
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    Yeah, NOW he's really pushing buttons. Peed right in front of me yesterday because he was mad. TUrned his back to me in the living room, bent over and then a puddle came out the bottom of his pants.

    Can't TELL You how angry I was.

    Thankfully the baby had her 6 mos apt so Abuela came and watched him and had a talk with him

    He's a little mellow today...but ARGH

    Amy


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