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Heather and others who stay home

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  1. #1
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    Jan 2004
    Denver, CO
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    Heather and others who stay home

    I have a question for Heather and those others who stay at home.

    Do you guys worry about the future and ss bene's and stuff like that? I might have the opportunity to stay at home with our 2 kids for a couple years. But I wonder how we're going to do with ss benefits when we're older if I don't work for a couple years, then can't find a job for a couple years and have to take a minimum wage job, which won't pay poop and then if DP should die first or something, I won't get her ss death bene and since LEGALLY Ethan is hers and Hannah is mine, then only Ethan would get the bene's (if he was still a minor) and Hannah gets zip.

    And vice versa if I go first.

    Anyone know how to work around this? Any thoughts?


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  3. #2
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    Jan 2002
    Puyallup WA
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    Hey Amy!
    I would first have Lisa and you adopt the other children so that they can all get benefits from each of you. I don't know what the laws are where you live, but here in Washington State, it was really easy for Loni to adopt Hayden. We started the process before he was born, had to wait until he was 3 months old, and then it was all finalized. He has a birth certificate now with 2 mommies on it It was exactly the same thing as a Step Parent adoption.

    We have Mortgage Insurance on our home. Pays for the entire mortgage if something should happen to either of us.

    We each have $350,000.00 in life insurance.

    We have an extensive Will, Living Wills, Trust and Power of Attorney stuff for eachother.

    Loni's benefits from retirement, 401K all have me as her beneficiary.

    I continue to contribute to my 401K that I started when I was working. I don't think it will be as big as it could have been but better than nothing!!

    I sometimes think about Social Security. Especially when I get those estimate things in the mail that tell me I would have to work until I was like 75 to get any livable amount of money!! We have planned for me to stay home until our children start school then return to work. I have started thinking of taking some more college class stuff and opening a Montessorie Pre School in our area. That way I would really love what I was doing but also would be working on a schedule that would be flexible and compatable with our childrens when they start school with the hours and vacations and holidays.

    I can tell you this, unless you have been a stay at home mom before, you have no idea what you are missing. I would live in a small one bedroom apartment for the rest of my days to have had the time I am having with Hayden. I would not trade the last 3 years for anything on this earth. I cannot imagine leaving him in daycare or with a sitter. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not against working mothers or anything....this is just such a precious time in his life. These days will never happen again. I would not work right now but we never planned on me working once we had a child. I have made sacrifices to stay home. It's the hardest work I have ever done but the most rewarding at the same time. It's amazing that my whole life revolves around someone that is just 3 years old. And running the house is not as easy as one thinks I probably will have to work until I'm 75 but these days are so worth it to me and to my family.

    Amy...if you can stay home, stay home!! Don't worry about what will happen in 2 years. You will find work again, you will not be destatute when you are elderly and your children will thank you for doing it!! You will thank yourself for doing it.

    Oh ya. There is a downfall in my house. I cannot be on Loni's medical insurance. They do not recognize same sex couples. But in Washington State, we have something called Basic Health. It's a medical plan through the state where you pay on a sliding scale based on income. It was really started for food service and self employeed people who cannot get individual medical insurance for a reasonable cost. I pay like $17.00 a month for it. It's just the basics though. Like prescription coverage, yearly paps and check ups or if I were to get sick or need to be hospitalized. No dental and no vision. It's perfect for me though. I'm pretty healthy other than the occasional flu type thing that I might go in to the Dr for and my yearly check ups. It even covered all my Prenatal stuff with my Perinatologist when I was pregnant. Just not Fertility I called a few big companies and it was like $300.00 a month for me to get medical coverage for myself. YIKES!! What a rip off!!

    Take care!
    Proud SAHM to Hayden 3 years old!!
    Proud SAHM to 18 month old Hayden!
    TTC #2 July 2004...our first FET

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