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Donor Gamete Pregnancy Cycle Group

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  1. #1
    Medicmedic
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    Donor Gamete Pregnancy Cycle Group

    This group is for anyone that is pregnant via donor gametes (egg, sperm or embryo).

    Please give an introduction about yourself and your pregnancy.

    Pregnancy and children will be freely mentioned in this group.


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  3. #2
    Medicmedic
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    I am a 41 year old woman currently pregnant via donor egg. I have 3 OE children over the age of 10. Our use of donor egg was due to poor egg quality at my age.

    I am due August 7, but the baby is measuring about 2-3 weeks ahead already. We are planning a c-section due to my poor labor history with previous children.

    I am concerned about my connection with this child since I will not see any reflection of myself in his features. I know that genetics do not make a mother, but instead the bond you have with the child. I understand this child will grow to have my mannerisms, food likes/dislikes, facial expressions, etc. I felt slightly more connected when I felt him kick, and we have recently had a 3D ultrasound which showed his facial features... I think that might have helped also. I know this sounds incredibly superficial, but I am being honest. I think with my OE children I assign some sense of connection based solely on the fact I can see myself in them.

    I am worried about how I will need to respond to people when they say he "looks like me" since this will be impossible. Our donor is similar in ancestry to myself and has dark features (hair and eyes). She is very driven, well educated and is in health care, as I am.

    Would love to hear from others carrying donor conceived children... is there anyone out there?
    Me- 41 Secondary Infertility, Hydrosalpinx, DH- 26 No known defects
    My Own Eggs- IVF 10/12 BFN, IVF 12/12 BFN, FET 1/13 BFN, IVF 2/13 BFN
    Donor Eggs- IVF 4/13 Frozen Eggs BFN, IVF 7/13 Fresh Donor eSet BFN, FET 8/13 BFN; FET eSET 10/13 BFN; FET of 2 11/13 BFP, first beta 304, second 1106, third 10246 (5w4d pg) u/s shows ONE bean!

    My blog - Normal People Don't Talk About This


  4. #3
    JesK
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    I'm Jes. I'm 27 and pregnant with my first. I'm due January 7, 2015.

    My husband and I had to use donor sperm due to him having Cancer a few years ago. The Chemotherapy AND Stem Cell Transplant Made Him sterile.
    Likes Medicmedic liked this post


  5. #4
    FlakyPastry
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    Hello! I've regularly participated in MM's boards over the past year as I too am expecting a donor egg baby. Thanks for starting this thread, MM, b/c everything you just posted is what I've found myself worrying about as my due date draws near (6/26). I've had some dreams about what he'll look like, but I am suspecting someone not like me at all, as our donor didn't really look like me, and we chose her mainly because of her previous donation successes and ethnic heritage. I'm not worried about bonding; just how I'll handle all the "he looks just like you" comments I'm sure to get as people try and guess which one of us he looks like. I have done it myself to other friends having babies over the years. Why would I expect others to not try and guess with ours?
    Me: 44, DOR, poor stim responder (AMH: .30, FSH: 15.0, AFC: 5)
    DH: 45, low morphology (5%)
    IUIs 1&2 and IVFs 1&2 2012-13: BFNs!
    Donor Cycle 1 (10/13): DS bornn 6/14
    Considering FET Spring 2016


  6. #5
    Medicmedic
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    I'm sorry I haven't been around to chat. I was diagnosed with insulin dependent gestational diabetes about 3 weeks ago. It isn't really a surprise, since I had it with two of my OE pregnancies. However, I am much more symptomatic with this one when my blood sugar is high. I use lantus and novolog. Last week I developed right upper quadrant pain which is similar to the pain I had when I had pre-eclampsia with my second pregnancy. They haven't found my liver enzymes to be higher than usual though, so as of today I don't carry the diagnosis yet. And, this week... I had an absolutely wicked cramp in my right calf. My toes pointed in directions that I didn't think they could point... then two days later I developed point tenderness in the outer aspect of my calf and two bruises. I don't know if I pulled something badly during the cramp or if I actually had a DVT. It seems to be going away today though.

    We had an ultrasound done a month ago, and the baby is growing normally. We also saw a 3D picture of the face, which was a glimpse into what he will look like. I still wonder nearly every day how I should react when people either tell me he does or doesn't look like me... Oddly, it seemed refreshing that I didn't see the donor in him when I saw his face. Not that I am not grateful for our donors contribution, but I expected to see her much more prominently and need to do more explaining to others. Does that make sense?

    Just today I washed his clothes, cloth diapers and blankets. Still seems a little surreal that in about 6-8 weeks he will be here.

    I signed up for a baby registry on mysecondhandbaby.com which is a site that encourages people to purchase gently used items in place of new. Really, I don't think it matters much on lots of things, like receiving blankets, etc. I bought 5 blankets for the price of 1 at a garage sale, washed them in hot water with bleach once to sanitize them and then another wash without detergent, etc. My sister also had a baby about a year and a half ago. We are borrowing many of her items. When she has another one... if she has another one, then we will return all of her stuff, plus some!

    Flaky- Welcome back! You should be just about ready to pop now! I saw you referred to the baby as "he" in a post, which I assume means you know it is a boy! Congrats! Do you have a finalized name? Are you still running? One of my friends was a runner like you and ran right up until a couple weeks before she was due.

    JesK- Congrats on your pregnancy! I know you and I were chatting a bit about cloth diapers on one of the other forums. Was wondering if you completed your stash yet? I have a mix of pocket diapers and prefolds with covers. I have used the prefolds before. I got a lot of my stash off Zulily, oddly enough. It took several months to purchase all of the inventory I needed for pockets. I also joined a swap group on Facebook and purchased a complete inventory of prefolds from someone.
    Me- 41 Secondary Infertility, Hydrosalpinx, DH- 26 No known defects
    My Own Eggs- IVF 10/12 BFN, IVF 12/12 BFN, FET 1/13 BFN, IVF 2/13 BFN
    Donor Eggs- IVF 4/13 Frozen Eggs BFN, IVF 7/13 Fresh Donor eSet BFN, FET 8/13 BFN; FET eSET 10/13 BFN; FET of 2 11/13 BFP, first beta 304, second 1106, third 10246 (5w4d pg) u/s shows ONE bean!

    My blog - Normal People Don't Talk About This


  7. #6
    FlakyPastry
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    I hope you're feeling better, MM! Any word on the right quadrant pain? I've had upper diaphragm spasms (right under my boobs) for most of the past three weeks (38 weeks this past Thursday). I've carried high, inside, and rather tight (can still wear most of my own size M/8-10 shirts), and most people exclaim how tiny I am and how I only look 5 or 6 months' pregnant when they see me. My fundal height is 39 (I know that's supposed to be cm-per-week), so My OB is not worried. she thinks my uterus is up under my ribcage at this point! He measured average (3 lbs) at 30 weeks, so I think he's fine. Just how I'm carrying I guess. But I sort of feel your pain!

    And yes, it's a boy (sometimes shows up in my sig, but not always). We've done all the washing too, I've packed a bag and lined up the dog sitter, and we just need to install the car seat. But we're ready to meet him. He doesn't seem all that interested in joining us though. I'm not dilated at all and there's no effacing. I had a few Braxton-Hicks a few weeks ago, but that's it. Just uncomfortable and SO sick of all the daily check-ins from co-workers and friends. Just yesterday, 11 people asked how I was feeling and whether the baby was here yet between 7 am and 10 am, either via stopping by my office, texting, or Facebook messaging. My absolute favorite inquiries are the people in the break room who look right at you and your belly and ask, "You're still here?" Or "Baby not here?" OK, so why would I be here if he was? If I'm here, that means no baby. Shocking deduction! I spend most of my workday hiding in my office, although I do need to pee every 90 min, which means inevitably running into someone in the ladies' room who'll ask. People say we should just be grateful others care that much, but honestly, if they were asked the same thing 20 times a day, would they be so grateful for the "caring"? For some reason, your being pregnant becomes all people can talk about in these last days, when we used to talk about so much else!

    Just venting! Thanks for listening/reading y'all, and congrats on the positive JesK! Welcome to our group!
    Me: 44, DOR, poor stim responder (AMH: .30, FSH: 15.0, AFC: 5)
    DH: 45, low morphology (5%)
    IUIs 1&2 and IVFs 1&2 2012-13: BFNs!
    Donor Cycle 1 (10/13): DS bornn 6/14
    Considering FET Spring 2016


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