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Military Families Out There

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  1. #1
    BayouMommy
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    Military Families Out There

    I just wanted to post this for those who are interested in the adoption process or are currently waiting so that you don't run into a snafu like we did. We found out today the reason why we probably weren't choosen after being on the staffed list twice especially after being told we were a hot item was because dh had been deployed so many times over the past few years that the children's sw was leary about placing any of them with us for fear that dh won't be able to bond before the adoption is finalized should he have to deploy. So my sw suggested that he get a letter from his current command stating that he will not be deploying anytime soon specifically since he will be detaching from the ship in Nov and going to his new duty station (shore duty at the hospital) in Dec. Although I did advise her he will be doing some underways in Oct she said that isn't a factor since he will be home when not out on sea.
    So I had faxed her that letter about an hour ago in addtion to typing a personal from him indicating that his orders will not hinder him from establishing a bond/relationship with his children and we hope that this not deter them from seeking us out as a candidate, as well as sending a copy of his orders.

    So just have your command perhaps type a letter stating the next time they may be scheduled to deploy espeically if he is assigned to a high deployed unit and or may be on the boat...This may assist in the child matching process.
    Cyn & J 31yo/married 12 wonderful years




    "Li-Li" 6 years old
    "MiMi" 4 years old
    "BamBam" 3 years old


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  3. #2
    turtleMax
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    Great advice, thanks for sharing with others that need this info.

    I hope and pray your baby is in your arms soon
    Libby
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  4. #3
    Anusha15
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    Boyu mommy we are stationed in San diego too. We are currently doing infertility treatments at balboa but are thinking we are almost ready to start adoption. What were your first steps? How did you find an agency that works with military families? It seems we have a harder time getting matched. We are thinking of going through the state adoption program.
    Me 26 DH 28
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    TTC #2 since Feb 2011 OPK+TI
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    moving on to Fost/Adopt


  5. #4
    littleoldme
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    Hi, we are a military family in California as well. We are in the international adoption process. We researched different agencies and talked to adoption counselors before finding the agency that was right for us. Our agency had no problem working with us as long as we could show that we weren't likely to move during the adoption process since the country we are working with only works with certain states. So far, being military has not been a problem for us. I am not as familiar with domestic adoption, but I would suggest researching agencies and asking them how they feel about working with military families. Best of luck!


  6. #5
    Anusha15
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    Littleoldme do you mind me asking how much your international adoption will cost? and from what country? I wonder if that might be cheaper than domestic infant adoption.
    Me 26 DH 28
    TTC since July 2008
    Diagnosed PCOS feb 2009
    Clomid +IUI August 2009 Success!! BFP
    TTC #2 since Feb 2011 OPK+TI
    IUI#1February 2012 BFN
    IUI#2April 2012 BFN
    IUI#3 Follistim 75IU 4 Follies BFN
    Sept Follistim 2-3 follies BFN
    October Clomid 100mg IUI#4 BFN
    December Follistim cycle cancelled 11 follicles
    Feb 2013- Follistim IUI#5 BFN
    moving on to Fost/Adopt


  7. #6
    littleoldme
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    I don't mind at all. We are adopting from South Korea through Holt International. The cost varies depending which country program you use. Here is a link to Holt's website that has costs broken down for each programs: Adoption Fees and Financial Assistance - Holt International Adoption Agency
    We will not be getting an infant though- by the time our child is ready to travel he will be a toddler. We love the idea of toddler adoption ( we were blessed with a daughter through a military fertility program, but have decided adoption is the best option for us this time around) but I know that a lot of people prefer to adopt infants. Also, the military does give a stipend of $2,000 towards an adoption. I wasn't aware of that until we started the process. Best of luck as you explore different options and find the best fit for your family If you have any other questions, I am more than happy to share what I know.


  8. #7
    SinglebE
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    We chose domestic adoption through American Adoptions. This was in case we had to move, then AA could still be our agency because they work in almost all states. After a year of waiting we actually ended up being matched through the local agency that did our homestudy. Our military lifestyle was never an issue during the process, though it was certainly easier because he was on shore duty. I do know some families that adopted while the husband was deployed. I heard that you can get a special power of attorney for adoption related legal issues.
    Christa (32) and Brandon (30)
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    2 IUI's, 2 IVF's, 3 FET's, resulting in one miscarriage at 7 weeks and one chemical
    Adopted a baby girl in January 2013!

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