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Day 5 of not talking. heck I have not even seen him..

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  1. #1
    Erica J.
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    Day 5 of not talking. heck I have not even seen him..

    really either. I seen him sleeping on the sofa in the middle of the night, the other night. That's how I knew he came home. I see his clothes in the boys bathroom....yes, he is not only sleeping on the sofa, he is also using the boys bathroom too. I have no clue what is going on with him but he needs to figure it out and soon. It is Friday, so that means he will have to encounter me at some point in time. This is driving me nuts. I suppose I COULD call him but why should I? I know, to be the bigger person but I just don't think I have it in me to be the more evolved one. This is crazy and no, he has never done this before. I mean, yes, we have fought and argued before and not talked for a day or so but this is crazy. I feel like calling him to tell him to grow up!!


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    CrystalAZ
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    That is just ridiculous and completely immature. So are you continuing to do things for him while he has his little pout-fest? As far as laundry, meals, cleaning, etc? Maybe you shouldn't...

    Crystal


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    Erica J.
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    Yes, I still did his laundry and work clothes but as far as meals go , he has not been here to eat them with us. I do fold the blanket on the sofa but that's more for me then for him as I do not want to see it on the sofa all day. He is using Brandon's Bob the Builder blanket so i fold it and put it back in Brandon's closet everyday. Oh yeah, I still pick his clothes up as he has been leaving them on the end of the sofa. It is like this man has checked out!

    I don't know what to even say at this point. I am so blah feeling. I don't want to let myself sink into a depression, I don't want this to continue. We have a GOOD marriage, this makes no sense to me. It can not be about sex as he is not deprived in the least. It has to be something else that he has not expressed to me. I guess we will see what the wknd. brings.


  5. #4
    solo
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    oh hon, I'm sorry dh is being soch a dhac at the moment. this can't be good for your kido's I think i would get someone to watch them ( out side of the home ) and have at it.
    "ranger" our dear One born oct 2006
    loved and missed.
    I own my own business. Ask me how you can too!!!!!!!!!!!!


  6. #5
    MT_firegirl
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    I know that you don't think that you should have to be the bigger person in this...but try to think about one thing.

    "Do you want to fix the problem? Or do you want to be right?"


    Sometimes, you have to eat a little humble pie before you fix the problem and you are right, there is probably something else going on that he hasn't told you. Be his lifemate and get to the root of the problem before this escalates into something further...he's moved out of your bedroom...there's not many places left to go excapt out of the house. Don't wait until it has escalated to that before you are willing to do the work. Marriage is 100-100, not 50-50...you will get out of it what you put into it.
    Kelcey and James
    Whitefish, Montana
    TTC #1 for 14 years
    my two teensy angels
    2008

    "Life is not defined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away"


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    Erica J.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MT_firegirl
    I know that you don't think that you should have to be the bigger person in this...but try to think about one thing.

    "Do you want to fix the problem? Or do you want to be right?"


    Sometimes, you have to eat a little humble pie before you fix the problem and you are right, there is probably something else going on that he hasn't told you. Be his lifemate and get to the root of the problem before this escalates into something further...he's moved out of your bedroom...there's not many places left to go excapt out of the house. Don't wait until it has escalated to that before you are willing to do the work. Marriage is 100-100, not 50-50...you will get out of it what you put into it.
    This is what the little voice inside me keeps saying but I would not even know where to begin. Do I act like nothing is going on and call him to see how his day is? Do I call him to ask if he's coming home at a decent hour? Do I call him at all or do I wait till he decides to come home and have it out with him/ I have no clue how to approach this. This is not us. If we argue, we get it out and over with right then(for the most part) but that's the thing. We rarely have arguments, any kind of argument. Oh, so confussed.


    Okay, How do I approach this?


  8. #7
    BC-NanceLee
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    You approach it straight on, with love. He is being passive agressive; you can't move this forward if you p u s s y foot(I got edited! ) around the subject too.

    I would not call; wait for him to come home. Then instead of "having it out" with him, I would go right up to him when he gets home, say nothing, and wrap my arms around him and just hold him lovingly. Even if he squirms; even if he is stiff as a board. Unless he outright tears himself away from you, he will eventually relax a little; let out a breath. Then kiss the tip of his nose and say "I love you, and I miss you. I am here to talk when you are ready." Then release him gently and go about your normal business of the evening with no attitude, no expectation.

    You can do this.

    ((hugs))

    NL
    If you have any questions about your fertility treatment or doctor, the Patient Care Advocates may be able to help.

    Me fifty-freakin' eight! DH 38, Max 25, Cole 20
    The only choice in life is love vs. fear. I choose love. ALWAYS.

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  9. #8
    MT_firegirl
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    I agree with Nance.....just let him know that he can talk anytime. And let him talk...don't interupt him, don't get defensive, just let him vent for as long as he needs to and truly listen.


    I hope you guys have a great weekend!
    Kelcey and James
    Whitefish, Montana
    TTC #1 for 14 years
    my two teensy angels
    2008

    "Life is not defined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away"


  10. #9
    angeleyes2blue
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    I completely agree with firegirl and NL. He IS being immature. He IS being passive aggressive. Look at it this way: perhaps he is struggling with something very difficult internally and if you yell at him, criticize him, or get defensive, you'd ultimately be kicking him while he's down.

    "It's more important to be loving than right"
    Me 28 & DH 30 Married 8/8/02
    Mom to Trey - 11/29/07
    My Family Blog


  11. #10
    solo
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    i think nancelee's right, Her way may get you futher then my balls to the wall way of dealing with issuse( cause in my experiance it's often the only way to deal with my dh when he being a four year old.)
    "ranger" our dear One born oct 2006
    loved and missed.
    I own my own business. Ask me how you can too!!!!!!!!!!!!


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