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I need prayers...

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  1. #1
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    angeleyes2blue's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
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    I need prayers...

    I posted just yesterday of some issues I was having with DH. After praying and feeling prompted, I spoke to my uncle and was given some great advice. I was then guided to look further into a nagging thought because my uncle told me that something about my DH was "just not right". He suggested that the denial and passive-aggressive attitude he was having was because of something deeper. I followed my prompting to our account transactions on the internet and found a charge for $500 for the same day to a "library" that I'd never heard of. I immediately felt that it was something very wrong. After some googling, I found it was for a strip joint and questioned my husband about it. After much prodding, he finally admitted to his guilt and told me that he assumed I was leaving anyway (I've been threatening for weeks), so it didn't matter what he did. We talked at length and he finally opened up and I feel we made a lot of progress. He's had issues with ____ography for several years now and has gone to support groups for it as well as talked with our church leaders who have just told him to "keep working on it". I told him that this action was much worse. How can I forgive this act? I'm horrified (and expressed this to him) that he would go to that length because he was planning on me leaving him. And he was well aware that the reason I threatened to leave was because he wouldn't share his thoughts or feelings with me (EVER). Can you trust after blows like this? I know it isn't my place to judge, but I don't know if I can't be with someone who isn't willing to feel remorse/sorrow or repent for this behavior. Am I entitled to ask about his repentence progress? Do I have a say in that process? I'm so confused and frustrated right now...
    Me 28 & DH 30 Married 8/8/02
    Mom to Trey - 11/29/07
    My Family Blog

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  3. #2
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    Jul 2005
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    I'm so sorry, Angeleyes I can only imagine how difficult this discovery has been for you. You deserve so much more than this. I understand that your husband has issues. However, You have every right to feel violated and victimized by his behavior. You trusted in him, and he has betrayed that trust. My only thought is that you should consider counseling for yourself. You have been through a lot, and sometimes it's helpful to have someone you can confide in. Individual counseling may be able to give you an advocate at a time when you really could use one...
    Courage is not freedom from Fear.
    It is being afraid and continuing on.

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