FertileThoughts.com - Infertility, adoption, pregnancy and parenting discussions
The aftermath of Divorce?

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    SmilingHelps
    has no status.
    Registered User
    SmilingHelps's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    6,554
    Post Thanks / Like

    The aftermath of Divorce?

    To those of you who have been divorced...

    How long does it take before your life calms down and finds some sort of "normalcy"? What are your experiences?
    Courage is not freedom from Fear.
    It is being afraid and continuing on.
    www.photobucket.com/jenniferandmia


  2. Advertisement


  3. #2
    CdnMom
    has no status.
    Registered User
    Over 5,000 Post CdnMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    it's yours to discover it's your.........
    Posts
    8,506
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    185
    It took at 8 months to get over the majority of the emotional hold it had on me. The fighting over the separation agreement seemed to take a few years. The one thing I seemed to find the worst that he was always finding other meanings for what the agreement said and always changed it to his benefit. It was so stressful, I am sure that stress and selling the house, moving etc probably took about 2 years in total to settle down.
    Finally 6.5 years later he is becoming a decent person and I can actually talk to him. He is quite friendly when he wants to be and we dont' fight anymore. No more stress.
    Michelle -- Momma to my A-Team
    Ashleigh 9 years old In a blink of an eye, my girl is growing up way too fast! Grade 4 here she comes ♥
    Aidan 5 years old old with a passion for movies & Severe Reflux starting Senior Kindergarten in Sept 2010♥
    6 m/c's and finally
    Our family is complete


  4. #3
    SmilingHelps
    has no status.
    Registered User
    SmilingHelps's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    6,554
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by CdnMom
    The one thing I seemed to find the worst that he was always finding other meanings for what the agreement said and always changed it to his benefit..
    this is my problem now. Our divorce papers are signed, yet my ex-husband is constantly coming with me with new and creative ways to interpret the papers as meaning something that it does not mean. He is now using his interpretation of our papers as a way to avoid paying child support. As the situation mounts, I become more stressed, frustrated, depressed, and angry over his actions. I keep waiting for his behavior to stop, yet he continues to find new ways to surprise me...
    Courage is not freedom from Fear.
    It is being afraid and continuing on.
    www.photobucket.com/jenniferandmia


  5. #4
    BC-NanceLee
    is the chirpy moderator of the Over 35 Board
    Board Coordinator
    Over 5,000 Post BC-NanceLee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Posts
    33,412
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    169
    My Mood
    Relaxed
    Mine did that too. It was always to his benefit financially or time wise. At first he wanted less time with the boys, then when Vini and I got engaged he wanted MORE time with them as some sort of antidote, then when HE got remarried he wanted them less again. You know what, I just let the money go bit by bit. Stopped receiving any support at all a few years ago. It just didn't matter to me - I am gainfully employed and my peace of mind and the boy's happiness means everything, money nothing.
    If you have any questions about your fertility treatment or doctor, the Patient Care Advocates may be able to help.

    Me fifty-freakin' eight! DH 38, Max 25, Cole 20
    The only choice in life is love vs. fear. I choose love. ALWAYS.

    Change is inevitable, growth is intentional. - Unknown


  6. #5
    DrAussieMom
    has no status.
    Registered User
    DrAussieMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    5,283
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    5
    ***DD mentioned****

    It was really about a year of he**. ex didn't want to continue to try to have kids, but once everything was settled and papers were filed, I began dating...... it was simple for us to move on, since I wanted kids and he didn't. It was hard to divide up everything, but that was our only concern. I miss him being my friend, but my life is better now.

    I had a whirlwind romance, dated for a year, had a baby and life is so different that I can't even remember my life before, so I don't know what normal is..... I think everybody is different once you have been through it - so norma -- never - - feeling OK about life, about a year after you first leave (IMO)..... best of luck.....


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DISCLAIMER: Fertile Thoughts allows advertisers to publish information about their services. Fertile Thoughts does not provide medical advice or endorse any particular service or approach to treating infertility. We encourage people to learn as much as possible about the range of options available before committing to any one. We also encourage users to share their thoughts on all fertility options on our forums.

Forum Stats

  • Forum Members: 97,617
  • Total Threads: 352,308
  • Total Posts: 4,534,780
There are 214 users currently browsing forums.

Advertisement

Visit Our Partner Sites: Fertility Treatments