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Question about infidelity

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  1. #1
    Kimb
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    Question about infidelity

    How can one find out if spouse is cheating without hiring a P.I.?
    DD born 11-1-02 after 7 years of ttc
    5 IUI's
    3 IVF/ICSI's third IVF ectopic
    1st FET transfer of two frozen ++++++

    Member of Fertilethoughts since 1997


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  3. #2
    Kimb
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    Should I be suspicious even though he has suggested marriage counseling? (we have appointment after holidays)
    DD born 11-1-02 after 7 years of ttc
    5 IUI's
    3 IVF/ICSI's third IVF ectopic
    1st FET transfer of two frozen ++++++

    Member of Fertilethoughts since 1997


  4. #3
    CrystalAZ
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    Trust your gut, as long as you think the feeling is coming out of instinct and not fear.

    Check his cell phone when he is in the shower. Look at stored numbers and recent calls.

    Look in his car - the glove box, the console, the trunk. Anything odd in there? Any hairs on the seats that obviously aren't yours?

    Look in his pockets. Any odd receipts?

    Look at his credit card statements. Any odd purchases?

    Does he "work late"? If so, can you call him at his office with some kind of "important" question to see if he is really there? Say his cell is just going to voicemail.

    Does he go out with buddies? If so, can you call the place they are supposed to be, same as above?

    Look at the history in his Web browser. Any adult or dating sites in there? Check his email. Any strange emails?

    Does he go out of his way to hide stuff like his cell phone, email, statements, etc. from you so you CAN'T look at them?

    If all of this checks out, it doesn't mean he ISN'T cheating, but it certainly means he is either going out of his way to hide it or it isn't serious enough for him to call her, email her, or spend money on her. LOL.

    I hope for the best for you.

    Oh, and to answer your question, the fact that he mentioned marriage counseling could mean he really wants to work on your marriage, OR it could mean he wants you to THINK he wants to work on it. I wouldn't read too much into that alone. What are his ACTIONS like? Words are easy to say, but ACTIONS are hard to fake.

    Crystal


  5. #4
    Kimb
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    The thing that worries me is what he said to me the other day "if we do divorce some day please don't get a big name lawyer and bust up my business". And one day he said to me "heck you might meet some horsey guy that will sweep you off your feet". WTH would he be saying this crap for?

    Said he was seeing a counselor for a year to work on his issues. Says that counselor says that some people in relationships can never get along. What kind of crap is that?

    tonight he is at a friend's house till 6:30 pm. It is 6:40 pm and he is not home yet.
    DD born 11-1-02 after 7 years of ttc
    5 IUI's
    3 IVF/ICSI's third IVF ectopic
    1st FET transfer of two frozen ++++++

    Member of Fertilethoughts since 1997


  6. #5
    DrAussieMom
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    I was engaged and new something was funny. I put a tap on my home phone - we lived together. It is a little device that you can get cheap at Radio Shack. I knew in a day. Having the voice of the woman and them talking made no guesses, I left that day.


  7. #6
    SmilingHelps
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    My husband bought this spyware that you buy to track your kids' online activities while we were divorcing and put it on my computer. The spyware sent him email updates of ALL of my online activities (including password changes and the passwords) every hour each day. With this, he was able to read my emails to friends, online chates, etc. He was hoping to catch me doing something "wrong" so that he could get a leg up in our divorce. However, it works great for catching cheating spouses (or so I hear ). You can buy this type of spyware at Best Buy or online.
    The home phone tap sounds like a good idea as well.

    In the end, go with your intuition. If you think something is up, then it probably is.
    Courage is not freedom from Fear.
    It is being afraid and continuing on.
    www.photobucket.com/jenniferandmia


  8. #7
    Kimb
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    Well what has me worried now is finding out this so called non-practicing shrink is a married woman (she has a degree in psychology). She is the one that supposedly has my dh believing that #1 we do not have a nurturing marriage #2 that we are too different and it may be best to go our separate ways. He has been seeing this woman for the past year. Wanna bet this is the reason he's acting weird on me???

    I have not found any unusual phone calls yet on his cell phone bills (I have been going through them) nor anything on the credit cards (unless he has a cc I don't know about).

    I am about ready to hire a you know what.
    DD born 11-1-02 after 7 years of ttc
    5 IUI's
    3 IVF/ICSI's third IVF ectopic
    1st FET transfer of two frozen ++++++

    Member of Fertilethoughts since 1997


  9. #8
    ScrappyCat
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    I wouldn't be worried about him cheating, I'd be worried about the shrink he's seeing...That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. It sounds like she's deliberately trying to break you guys up. Why would she do that?
    Lisa

    Visit our family: www.casadefoster.blogspot.com

    Wyatt 6-9-08
    Tori 6-21-05
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  10. #9
    Kimb
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    I will find out at marriage counseling if he has quit seeing this married woman shrink. I do not know why this %$#@ woman would try to break us up unless she has the hots for my dh and wants to dump her spouse for him. Either that, or she just plain sucks. Like I said, she has a degree in psychology, but does not practice it as a profession. Why the hell would she practice it on my dh??? B@tch!@!!
    DD born 11-1-02 after 7 years of ttc
    5 IUI's
    3 IVF/ICSI's third IVF ectopic
    1st FET transfer of two frozen ++++++

    Member of Fertilethoughts since 1997


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