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My husband filed for divorce

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  1. #1
    SmilingHelps
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    My husband filed for divorce

    I'm having a really rough time right now. My husband filed for divorce. He said that he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't like me. He has been planning this for some time, and started the preceedings behind my back. I begged him not to do this, but he has made up his mind. Our marriage is over. I am more destroyed than you can imagine. Emotionally, I am a mess. I am so worried about the future. I don't want to destroy my daughter's life, and I feel like this is what will happen. Everyone keeps telling me to be strong, but I feel very weak and extremely lonely. I'm not really sure what to do with myself. Right now, I have to spend my time getting a lawyer, finding a place to live, and getting a job. I have a young daughter to care for and I want her to have a good life regardless of this...

    If you pray, please say a prayer for me and my daughter.

    Thanks

    Jen


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  3. #2
    GirlMom
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    Jen,

    Oh no honey... I am SO heartbroken for you. Please know that you are being held especially close in my prayers. I wish you strength as you begin to pick up the pieces... Mia is lucky to have a Mama like you... remember that.

    I just don't understand why in the heck your husband would throw in the towel so quickly... so many things change during the first year with a baby, etc... I feel that he is making a mistake that he''' regret his entire life.

    {{{HUGS}}}
    Karen
    Karen (41)
    DH Mike (43)
    DD Olivia (17)
    DD Emma (10)
    8


    Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your God is...


  4. #3
    TSQUARE
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    Sending you prayers, hon...I know you'll get through this.

    hugs,
    Tsquare
    We have been BLESSED beyond measure.
    IVF #1 (ICSI & AH) - DD born 4/12/2007
    (a single embryo success story!)


  5. #4
    MonkeyMom
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    Hey Jen...sorry for barging in on you over here, but I haven't "seen" you and was worried knowing that you've had issues going on. I definately wasn't expecting to see this! I am so sorry for what you are going through, and I can't help but think your husband is a bit of a jerk for throwing this at you after making you think things were going to be okay. It just makes me so mad for you!!

    It's true that you need to be strong. I would make a point to find a new counselor as soon as you can since Mia will need you so much now and you unfortunately need to be 100% for her even while you are suffering. Did he say what changed or why this sudden decision? Does he understand that EVERYBODY goes through changes when you have a baby? I can honestly say my dh and I have been pushed to our limits this past year more then we ever imagined we could be, but you need to stick together becasue it can only get easier right? Maybe he will realize the magnitude of what he's done by filing these papers and seriously consider counseling or something else to try to get through this?? I just can't believe it I always got the impression that you guys were so happy. Please PM me and let me know how you are doing and remember that if this is what is going to happen I'm here to talk anytime you need to okay?

    Thinking of you and Mia


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    solo
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    Jen I have no words. Please know i am here for you and will be keeping you in my prayers please call if you need a shoulder.
    "ranger" our dear One born oct 2006
    loved and missed.
    I own my own business. Ask me how you can too!!!!!!!!!!!!


  7. #6
    dmbucky7
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    I am definately saying 's for you and your daughter. I actually gasped when I ready your thread title... I am so sorry you're going through this right now. I agree with everyone else, be strong, if not for you, then definately for your daughter!
    DMB
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  8. #7
    Adrienne
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    Don't do anything drastic (like move out) until you have talked to an attorney. There isn't a ajudge that is going to toss a mom and baby out. You have much firmer ground to be standing on.

    I am so sorry that things have come to this point.


    Adrienne



    beautiful boy



  9. #8
    CrystalAZ
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    I'm so sorry. All I know is that if you are as intelligent, thought-provoking, and grounded as you seem on these boards, that he is insane to let you get away!

    You deserve so much more - someone who will stand by you and be loyal and true no matter what. Not someone who leaves you high and dry when you need him most.

    You don't have to be strong. Just take it minute by minute, day by day. You will be through the worst soon enough but when you are going through it, that time seems like an eternity. Just do the best you can right at this moment, and don't worry about anything but taking care of yourself and your DD.

    Hugs,

    Crystal


  10. #9
    Blondie8
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    If I'm shocked by your update, I can't imagine what you are feeling.

    I echo the idea of seeing a lawyer ASAP to establish your rights and approach to what's going on. Moving out may not be in your best interest, or that of your DD. Please try to remember the basics at the moment; a little sleep, some food, go easy on yourself and don't expect too much. Getting through the day will be enough at the moment. I hope you've got a good support group around you and please take good care.
    “Children don’t belong to us. They are litle strangers who arrive in our lives and give us the pleasure and duty of caring for them–but we don’t own them. We help them become who they are.” Gloria Steinem


  11. #10
    Paula_in_DE
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    I echo what the other ladies have said. Contact an atty before you do anything. Make sure to get a bank account in your name only and have some money in there.

    I think he's making a huge mistake and is having a mid-life issue and having adjustment issues to being a new parent. This is something he won't be able to take back.

    Take care of you and Mia!
    Air Force wife of over a decade. Moving is a forced hobby of mine. Mom to 2 IVF miracles ds (9) and dd (4)
    "Be yourself everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde "True friends stab you in the front." Oscar Wilde


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