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the emotional side

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  1. #1
    spagirl
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    the emotional side

    How do I help my husband deal with the fact that he will never father a child? I don't know if he feels guilty, or angry or like less of a man, I don't see him that way. I have told him that and I told him that I will love him no matter what. Any other ideas?


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  3. #2
    Elann
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    Just keep doing what you are doing. It is steady support that will help.

    There is a post that my DH wrote in the Husbands talking about IF section. It is titled "how do men feel about donor sperm?" and my DH's name is Hurricane. Check it out - it may give you a little insite on how your DH is feeling.
    Last edited by Elann; 02-25-2006 at 11:37 AM.


  4. #3
    wendyengel
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    spagirl,
    what is your story with your dh and why he wont father a child if you dont mind me asking? We thought my dh never would either but saw a great doctor and he is fixed!
    Wendy


  5. #4
    01bob01
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    support..

    why is is that you ladies... seem to really to be so considerate towards you dh who is, is not able to create biological children.. and mine has not bothered to even realise the horror that i am living.. is her desire (being given the option of donor sperm) greater hence i am of no more important than a person that should occassionally take her out for a good time and listen to her blues..

    Surely being shown some comparion should be free..


  6. #5
    Sybile
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    Dear O1bob,
    I completely understand. Although my husband is great, but I guess it is a little more difficult for us because we are actually going through the fertility drugs that causes us to get sick. Therefore, I think that is why we are a little angry than most towards our dh. Good luck.


  7. #6
    wendyengel
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    Bob,
    I see what you mean. Sometimes I am sure my dh feels like all I care about is having children and not him because that is ALL I talk about and think about. It truly is. My personality is more proactive and I want to find out how to fix my dh so we can have biological children. If we could not as I said I would use donor sperm and donor eggs. I would get what I want (to carry the child) and he would ultimately feel better about the situation because the child would not be mine biologically and not his. That would be awkward in my opinion. Some people are easily able to work through that but we could not. Anyhow maybe your wife is just not a go getter when she is down and depressed. I am also a nurse so I know a lot about the medical field! Give both of you time. It will all work out. I know you hate hearing that. I sure do. Try counseling. We did. We talked to our pastor who did so much for us!


  8. #7
    wendyengel
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    Sybile,
    I know what you mean sometimes it is frustrating because I am the one going through all of the appt and he sometimes acts like he does not want to deal with it and its like hey I am doing this for you. Its just hard sometimes but in the end I know I love him which is why I do it but it does (the hormones) makes you crazy sometimes!
    Wendy


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