FertileThoughts.com - Infertility, adoption, pregnancy and parenting discussions
My DH won't consider DS

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    rbermudez
    has no status.
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Rancho Cucamonga CA
    Posts
    9
    Post Thanks / Like

    My DH won't consider DS

    My Dh won't consider donor sperm at all. He has a zero count and everything is fine with me. He tells me that if he can't have his own biological child then DS is out of the question. He said either we have are own or no kids at all. If I don't like it than I can leave him. We are both 28 and I'm scared that I will resent him in the future if he can't have his own children and won't let me try to have our child with DH. This is so unfair. I don't know what to do. I'm hoping if I give him his space he will change his mind.

    Anyone's DH change their mind?? Just had to vent.....


  2. Advertisement


  3. #2
    Adrienne
    has status.
    Registered User
    Over 5,000 Post Adrienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deep In The Heart....
    Posts
    16,513
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Angelic
    How unfortunate that he feels that way. Does he REALLY know how much you want children?

    Mine wasn't interested in it at all until it was obvious that in order for me to become pg, there really wasn't any other option. My dh understood and understands what a primitive and basic need it was for me--not just a want--but a need to be a mother.

    I remember one dicussion before we reached a decision where he said"we will be just fine the two of us if we can't have children" and I was thinking--no we won't, not if you don't understand something so fundamental about me.

    It was a process and couldn't be rushed. I was 39 when I got pg so I didn't have th option of time like you do.

    I wouldn't push it too much but keep it on the table.

    Sperm doesn't make a father--fathering is about SO much more then sperm and dna.

    Hugs


  4. #3
    Deno1977
    has no status.
    Registered User
    Deno1977's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Fox Valley, WI
    Posts
    67
    Post Thanks / Like
    Rubermudez- I know how you feel. My Dh's first response to DS was the same as your DH. It took the RE saying it before he would even talk about it. My DH is adopted and is having a very hard time with all of this. Not only because he wants his "own" children, but because he has no blood relation.

    We haven't used DS yet( 2nd iui Feb. 4th) but if this one doesn't work....I don't know what we will do.


  5. #4
    Adrienne
    has status.
    Registered User
    Over 5,000 Post Adrienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Deep In The Heart....
    Posts
    16,513
    Post Thanks / Like
    My Mood
    Angelic
    I've been thinking about this and the process we went through and there was a period of grief for him to deal with. It is a major life changing blow to learn you are sterile and it isn't something that can be processed easily.

    We do not have any regrets about the decisions we made. Our situation isn't quite the same because my dh was married young and had two adult children when we got married.

    I feel your pain and wish you were not having to go through this.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DISCLAIMER: Fertile Thoughts allows advertisers to publish information about their services. Fertile Thoughts does not provide medical advice or endorse any particular service or approach to treating infertility. We encourage people to learn as much as possible about the range of options available before committing to any one. We also encourage users to share their thoughts on all fertility options on our forums.

Forum Stats

  • Forum Members: 97,616
  • Total Threads: 352,308
  • Total Posts: 4,534,780
There are 216 users currently browsing forums.

Advertisement

Visit Our Partner Sites: Fertility Treatments