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Transgender and new to forum

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  1. #1
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    Transgender and new to forum

    Hi everyone, my name is Isobel. I知 new here, so I hope I知 writing in the right place.

    I知 a 19 year old transgender woman (that is male to female), who has had gender reassignment surgery and also taken HRT, which has meant I am permanently infertile.

    I don稚 even know if I want to have children yet, but I知 definitely saddened by the fact that I can稚 get pregnant yet. I struggle with issues of feeling 電ifferent to other females as a result of my infertility, and I was wondering if others in the community share this/have ways of coping?

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  3. #2
    SC-Kelley M.
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    Hi Brokenprincess,

    Infertility is hard. It doesn't matter whether you have a diagnosis or are undiagnosed, not being able to start your family when and how you always dreamed is unfair. Thankfully, there are so many ways to grow our families. You can adopt, you can use a gestational surrogate, you can use donor tissue (eggs, sperm, embryos). You might fall in love with a partner who has children from a previous relationship and become one awesome stepmom! When you are ready to start your family (should you decide you want to have kids), your journey will be just as unique as you are and that is a beautiful thing.

    In the meantime, have you thoughts of seeing a therapist? If not, you may want to consider it as they are an unbiased party who can help you navigate your own thoughts and feelings. A therapist who is specially trained to address transgender topics (like fertility after reassignment surgery) may be especially helpful.

  4. #3
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    TTCyears's Avatar
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    My Mood
    Being a minority - even for a social norm (get married and procreate) is a challenge. I lost most my casual friends during my IF struggle - I couldn't happily relate to them. My counselor advised me to find folks with gray hair and young (pre-kids) adults to talk to on my bad days. Now I have new friends and have reconnected with a few of my old friends but not much. I remain outside the social norm and there is good and bad in that, like anything. Wishing you well as you create your perfect family (you, a partner, pets or children - your choice - there is a way for all of those albeit some ways may be very hard and unexpected - still there are ways).

  5. #4
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    BC-Fireflycross's Avatar
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    Aug 2012
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    Hi Isobel,

    I'd echo Kelley's advice... see a counselor. Most work places have Employment Assistance Programs that cover a number of sessions. Your HR department would have more information. Or if you are in school, there are usually counselors on campus.

    Anyone who struggles with infertility has feelings of being "different". We see ourselves as difference because our bodies aren't working the way we want them to... Society sees us as different because we aren't fulfilling the expectation of motherhood... Forever being asked if you have kids or when you will have kids.

    My advice if you decide to pursue counseling, it may take time to find the right fit. Don't give up! I was lucky and got a wonderful counselor my first session. It has been harder to find a couple's counselor, we are on our second one and it isn't going great... But, I won't give up and neither should you.
    Me: PCOS
    DH: Strict morphology 2.0%
    TTC since 2007
    IVF - AMH: 40.6 pmol/L; IVF with ICSI July 2017 = 19 retrieved, 12 fertilized, 7 cooking, 2 made it to blasts = B4BC and B4CC. Frozen due to mild OHSS.
    FET #1 Sept 2017 B4BC = BFN
    FET #2 Jan 2018 B4CC = BFN

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