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  1. #1
    rotten_sherry
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    Need positive energy :(

    Dear all, I知 having premature ovarian failure (AMH 0.2 and FSH 20), at a young age of 33. I have done 3 IVF cycles this year and accumulated 4 day-5 embryos. Last month, doctor implanted 2 day-5 embryos (5AA and 5AB) to my uterus. Unfortunately, the implantation failed, and I only have 2 embryos (4AB and 3AA) left. My doctor recommended continuously do the egg extraction procedures.. then have PGS done in order to increase the success rate of pregnancy.. but I知 unsure if I should do PGS as I知 afraid no embryos would be left for implantation after the procedure.. also, I知 starting to dread the side effects of treatment so I don稚 want to do it for so many times.

    After discussion with my doctor, I知 now having my 4th cycle of treatment.

    My emotion is further disturbed by my BIL痴 wife. My BIL and his wife has a daughter already, but his wife cried once she knew that it was a girl.. after a blood test for gender was done at 7-8 weeks of gestation.. then they told us they only want 2 kids maximum, so they do not want to 努aste the only quota in case it痴 a girl again.. they don稚 have fertility problem, but they just went overseas for sex selection (as sex selection is not allowed in my country unless there痴 genetic disease). They viewed the whole thing as a fun trip, and the wife of BIL has 38 eggs which produced 29 embryos... they only want one which is a male and the highest grading.. they will have embryo transfer in may so that the baby will be born in February or January (even for preterm baby). Since in my country, people prefer having babies who are born in January to March (as they think the kids would do better than smaller kids whose birthdays are at the end of the year, due to the development which is a few months ahead of other kids)

    I know what she did should not affect me, but somehow, I just cannot help thinking why life is so unfair . I just want a healthy kid irregardless or any gender or any birth month.. but I think it痴 so difficult for me.. some people don稚 have fertility problems just view ivf as a choice to get a designer baby or what they want, and they seem so easy to achieve that..

    I know I should be positive, but I don稚 know why I can稚 feel peaceful when I think about that
    Last edited by rotten_sherry; 04-06-2018 at 12:08 AM.


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  3. #2
    Patient-One
    LET THE JOURNEY CONTINUE!!!
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    Sherry,
    You have the right to feel how you want in my opinion. At least for a whileI hated pregnant women, mainly those who took it got granted. Your SIL has the right to have her needs just as much as you have yours. Talk to her and explain what you are feeling maybe she will be more sensitive to your feelings. I asked my RE about PGS testing in my last cycle and he said, if you have no genetic issues he didn't recommend it. I didn't ****ments*****Was successful with two pregnancy from the same cycle ****end ments****

    I would recommend doing the cycle to harvest more eggs. Think of it as banking eggs for the future because you don't know how fast your eggs will continue diminishing.

    Best of luck. Baby dust to you.
    ME - 38, DH - 45
    IVF - 01/12, ER - 06 Feb, ET - 09 Feb
    BETA #1 - 80.3 (12dp3dt), #2 - 183.6 (15dp3dt) - b/g twins
    Ruptured Membrane 06/16/12 - Maximus
    Born at 23 weeks 03 July 12 - 23 July 12 - Anaya
    FET - March 2014 - BFN
    IVF 2 - 08/2015, ER - 13 Aug, ET 18 Aug
    BETA #1 - 84 (9dp5dt), #2 - 225 (11dp5dt), #3 - 1303 (15dp5dt) - 4/15/16
    FET2 - around 26 Jun 17


  4. #3
    weary
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    I'm so sorry sherry. I would be totally upset too - if I were having such a hard time while sister in law was producing tons of embryos to just select one and dump the rest. Life can be so terribly unfair.

    I have a friend who had premature ovarian failure in her early thirties, it was so bad she could not even do ivf. Doctors just told her there's no use. She decided she didn't want to adopt and would rather live child-free. But it was rough. She doesn't attend baby showers etc.

    Keep trying. I truly know how hard it is. But at least at the end of it you will know you did your best. I would not do PGS you are young and your embryos are probably okay? Just my opinion am not a doctor. The very best of luck to you!
    ME 42 - Endometriosis stage iv
    DH 44 - no issues
    3 IUIs with Follistim all BFN
    2014 - lap#1 found endo lap#2 removed endo & tubes
    1/15 IVF #1 ER 12, 7E, TX 2 5d, no frosties, chemical
    3/15 IVF #2 ER 14, 8E, TX 3 3d, 2 frosties, BFP! DD born 12/2015
    2017 FET #1 BFP m/c at 8wk FET #2 BFN
    1/18 IVF #3 ER 12, 7E, TX 3 3d, no frosties BFN
    3/18 IVF #4 ER 10, 3E, TX 3 3d BFN
    6/18 IVF #5 ??


  5. #4
    NurPractitioner
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    Hi. I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and my heart hurts for you.

    I recently had a donor who ended up getting canceled before transfer, and now my doctor is a rush for me to do a cycle. I was devastated. I chose a donor because I didn't want to got through the medications again even though I was told that I did not have an issue with reserve, so I can certainly understand why you are not excited by treatment. I totally dread it too. My husband insists on trying with my eggs one more time before going donor route again.

    I have a SIL with 6 children (3 from my brother) and oddly I wasn't ever saddened by her pregnancies and I think it is because they were always so compassionate and sensitive toward me. I think your SIL telling you these things (gender selection, 29 embryos) is kind of insensitive. I am sure though it is out ignorance and not malice. No one really understands infertility unless they lived it even the most well-meaning..

    Try to not internalize it. You will have your baby... believe!!
    PCOS and Tubal Issues
    Him--perfect
    1st IVF OE in 2015 in Barbados; 15 retreived, 2 made it for transfer, none for freeze=BFN
    2nd DE 4/2018--donor canceled due to poor stim
    3rd-5/2018 using my own eggs
    result= 21 retreived, 17 fertilized, day 6= 6 to PGS test, 3 Perfect embies frozen
    4th 8/2018 using my own eggs. Hoping to bank more embies!
    Thanks Patient-One thanked for this post


  6. #5
    rotten_sherry
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    Thanks patient-one, weary and nurpractitioner for your support I知 feeling much better now.

    My SIL does not know my infertility problem. I did not share with my husband痴 family or other friends. Therefore, I would not blame their being insensitive, because they don稚 know my condition. You are right weary, I felt upset because i just felt why life could be so unfair.

    But I tried to stay positive and have meditation recently, and I feel much more peaceful now. Patient-one, thanks for raising a point that my sil has the right to have her needs just as much as I have mine. I think over this sentence for a few days, and understand that everyone has been assigned a different life. Everyone has his or her choice.

    Nurpractitioner, I知 very sorry to hear your situation too.. it痴 so bad that the donor suddenly cancelled the cycle.. however, if you opt for a donor, there is no time concern I believe you will be fine! However, it is good to have a mutually-happy management plan with your husband. What was the main reason of failure of your last cycle? If you don稚 have a reserve problem, have you thought of trying with your eggs one more time?

    I just discussed with my husband that i would have 2 more cycles.. maybe this time, we will go to the USA, since there痴 an option of surrogacy, in case I have carrier problem as well. If these 2 cycles also fail, then maybe it痴 a good time to think about adoption, or donor eggs.


  7. #6
    NurPractitioner
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    @rotten_sherry... I was told my reserve was good but I felt it was bad. When none of the embryos made (last cycle) it I just felt like throwing in the towel. I then found out that a tumor on my liver was growing. I knew it was benign but they were concerned because it grew during the time I underwent IVF treatments. They believed it to be an estrogen loving tumor, so in December I underwent a liver resection which is a pretty major surgery and risky. I just had to know if it was truly benign or if it was going to turn into cancer. The only way was to biopsy and check for cancer markers. As you can probably understand, the last thing I want to do is pump myself full of medications especially hormone driven. I really want children but don't care if its biological. I would like to carry a baby, so it made sense to me to have a donor. However, I am getting excited about the possibility of having my own baby... start cycling at the end of this month.
    PCOS and Tubal Issues
    Him--perfect
    1st IVF OE in 2015 in Barbados; 15 retreived, 2 made it for transfer, none for freeze=BFN
    2nd DE 4/2018--donor canceled due to poor stim
    3rd-5/2018 using my own eggs
    result= 21 retreived, 17 fertilized, day 6= 6 to PGS test, 3 Perfect embies frozen
    4th 8/2018 using my own eggs. Hoping to bank more embies!


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