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My boyfriend doesnt want ivf

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  1. #1
    unluckymissy
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    My boyfriend doesnt want ivf

    So my boyfriend doesnt want to try ivf, or adopt, these are my only two options. Its not like "im not ready yet lets wait" its "we dont need a doctor to do anything for us and im not looking after someone elses child". Right now may not be the best time for us but in the near future its something i really need to at least try. My broodieness has been crippling for 7 years and is a cause of major depression and being told im infertile obviously didnt help this. He really doesnt understand how its affecting me not because hes a man or because hes just mot there mentally yet, he cant be bothered to even ask me how im feeling! Anyway im starting to get off track and rant to much, is there any way i can convince him to atleast think about it? Im thinking of leaving him because of all of this


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  3. #2
    Sunshine82
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    I am really so sorry. Infertility can be a huge strain on a relationship. It is also nothing to be ashamed of and I am sorry you are feeling badly. I can just leave you with this, if he is okay living without being a parent and you are not, I would reconsider your relationship. If you think he is just not mentally prepared to come to terms with needing assistance to conceive, give him a little more time if he's the one. In the end, you have one life to live. I would never have compromised my dream to be a mother. Best of luck to you.
    Me (37) PCOS, DH (34) Perfect
    3 failed IUI's
    IVF#1- Everything looked good- BFN
    IVF#2- Everything looking good- BFN
    IVF#3- BFP! Baby boy born 2013 (he's perfect)- 8 to freeze!
    FET- Going for #2- BFP- Baby boy #2 (perfection)
    FET- #2- starting Cycle Sept. 2016 (fingers crossed)
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  4. #3
    Patient-One
    LET THE JOURNEY CONTINUE!!!
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    First change your username and make it something uplifting.

    I agree with Sunshine if he will be okay without kids and you cannot then its time to move on. Don't have regrets. You said you have some depression so I think you being in a happy place works best for you so yoy need to be happy before anyone else. I did not imagine my hubby doing all what we did but he did without me asking. The doctors said this is what we need and he did it. If he is being "difficult" now what is going to happen when the first round of IVF fails? Will he leave? It is going to blame you? Did you talk about children before and how did he feel about it before you found out you would need help to concieve? You did not mention your age but remember the older you are when having kids you chances decline.

    I wish you all the best.
    ME - 38, DH - 45
    IVF - 01/12, ER - 06 Feb, ET - 09 Feb
    BETA #1 - 80.3 (12dp3dt), #2 - 183.6 (15dp3dt) - b/g twins
    Ruptured Membrane 06/16/12 - Maximus
    Born at 23 weeks 03 July 12 - 23 July 12 - Anaya
    FET - March 2014 - BFN
    IVF 2 - 08/2015, ER - 13 Aug, ET 18 Aug
    BETA #1 - 84 (9dp5dt), #2 - 225 (11dp5dt), #3 - 1303 (15dp5dt) - 4/15/16
    FET2 - around 26 Jun 17
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  5. #4
    TTCyears
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    A different perspective: After 7 years and 5 pg losses (one that almost killed me), I was ready to be child free. It was my DH who insisted we do IVF. Not b/c he wanted a child but b/c he wanted me to live without regret - that I had tried all I could (given our resources). In the meantime, he agreed to foster and he discovered to his surprise that he could care for and love another person's child. If your BF has the slightest bit of openness, there is hope. My DH is still horrible at empathy and compassion (genetic or learned?), but he has other strengths and has learned enough to get by. I am sorry for this horrible time. I have seen couple's work through and find agreement and I have seen couple's break apart and establish families (or pursue other interests) separately. Hugs for you in this difficult time. It took a decade of hardship to put me in a very dark place and took almost half that time to get out fully, but I have. Hang in there!


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