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Is it worth it?

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  1. #1
    Akfranklin2014
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    Is it worth it?

    Good morning,

    I have PCOS and have been told by many doctors I will never conceive. My husband has two children from previous relationships, and while I love them like they're my own, I do want one of my own.

    We have been trying for two years now, using natural methods. We haven't dived into fertility treatments from a doctor yet. After talking, we're both just wondering if all the fertility treatments and money spent are worth it or if we should just choose to adopt instead. Either way we realize we're going to spend a lot of money. My mother had a very hard time with my birth due to health problems so I know it's very possible for me to have the same problems. We're just wondering if adoption might be best for us rather than risking mine and a baby's health. Any suggestions or advice?


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  3. #2
    Mom2be01
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akfranklin2014 View Post
    Good morning,

    I have PCOS and have been told by many doctors I will never conceive. My husband has two children from previous relationships, and while I love them like they're my own, I do want one of my own.

    We have been trying for two years now, using natural methods. We haven't dived into fertility treatments from a doctor yet. After talking, we're both just wondering if all the fertility treatments and money spent are worth it or if we should just choose to adopt instead. Either way we realize we're going to spend a lot of money. My mother had a very hard time with my birth due to health problems so I know it's very possible for me to have the same problems. We're just wondering if adoption might be best for us rather than risking mine and a baby's health. Any suggestions or advice?


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    Hi there. I understand wanting to have one of your own. My husband has three from his x wife. I would love one of ours. One of mine. We did IVF for years without success. We now are with a donor and praying it works in a few weeks.
    Not sure if your age but that can be a factor to adopt or try in ur own.
    My last resort would be to adopt. I work for an adoption agency and see to many negative sides to go that route yet. So that's why it would be my last resort.
    It's a personal decision. If you feel you and your body can handle it why not try?



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  4. #3
    Akfranklin2014
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    My husband and I are both in our early 30s. There are times when I feel I'll be okay. Then there are other times I remember my mom had 5 strokes and had to have head gear to relieve the pressure from her brain when I was born. She was in the hospital longer than I was. All of that was the start of her health problems that happened later in life.

    It just worries me to try to go through all that with those risks.


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  5. #4
    Romy69
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    Hi Akf,

    I would suggest you first visit a fertility specialist, both of you. Let them check you out and tell you what could be the problem. Then you decide which way to go.
    I personally am very reluctant as far as adoption goes because the process is absolutely hideous. There are so many kids that can benefit from good homes and love and they are missing out on that due to process.

    After 6 unsuccessful IVFs, my doctor suggested a surrogate and I didn't even blink when I agreed. I was so happy inside cause I just couldn't carry on. I do have uterine problems due to a botched surgery when I was 6 yo. Only found out in my early 30s.

    Maybe look at surrogacy first before you decide on adoption. I would think money is more or less the same but you are much more in control and the chances of holding your baby sooner are much higher. Our surrogate fell pregnant on the second round.

    Wishing you all the best and share your anxieties and fears with a RE if you see one.


  6. #5
    Akfranklin2014
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    I already know the problem is my own. He already has 2 of his own so we know everything works with him. The last Gyn I saw told me there are some months I don't ovulate and some I do. I've been told to lose weight and it will be easier to get pregnant but that's easier said than done for me and not because of laziness. Just wish my insurance covered any of this at all :/ so we're on our own with paying for all of this.

    Not to get too personal, but did you choose to implant your own fertilized eggs in your surrogate or did you use hers?


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  7. #6
    tamarattc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akfranklin2014 View Post
    I already know the problem is my own. He already has 2 of his own so we know everything works with him. The last Gyn I saw told me there are some months I don't ovulate and some I do. I've been told to lose weight and it will be easier to get pregnant but that's easier said than done for me and not because of laziness. Just wish my insurance covered any of this at all :/ so we're on our own with paying for all of this.

    Not to get too personal, but did you choose to implant your own fertilized eggs in your surrogate or did you use hers?


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    If you are afraid.... and willing to go through adoption (as in, if it does not matter to you emotionally, because the adopted child is YOURS and HIS... it is a lengthy process that you go through together)

    However, if you do not ovulate and that is the issue, why not try clomid and HCG triggers for a couple of cycles? Visit and RE and see if that is all right for you. You are in your early 30's, have you considered IVF? if no immune issues etc, you are probably a good candidate for it. you are still very young and presumably, mild stimulation to medium could come up with a fair number of eggs that you can then freeze. If you would like to PGS or go down the surrogacy road then you could do that, but before jumping to any conclusion, discuss it with RE and decide.... is it worth it or will you be just as happy with an adopted child?

    I personally think it is worth it. We tried for a few years and then IVFed and now have 13 frozen embryos. Our first child was born on the second attempt. Mum too had a difficult birth with my sister, but not with me. I had a very traumatic and frantic pregnancy during the first few weeks and premature birth with a really bad surgeon who did the C-section. I was bleeding for days and got an infection because for some reason they refused anti-biotics and painkillers. I swore never again. I am now pregnant, 7 weeks, on 3rd FET try after much support (scratching, glue, HCG support and estrogen/progesterone). Mind you last time I could not leave bed or drink or eat and i had terrible morning sickness and lots of bleeding and threatened miscarriage and stayed at the hospital for a long long time before the 8th week but pulled through. I feel absolutely nothing. I feel great. No pain, no vomitting, no cramps, no bleeding (even though i have progesterone in every imaginable form that they keep giving me tablets for morning sickness) but never needed them. Baby was fine last scan and all textbook.

    We plan on 4 children. So once hopefully this baby is born and is healthy, I will donate all embryos. Not for the lack of desire to be pregnant again but just because I really really really would like to adopt too.

    No one can tell you if it is worth it but your mother's story does not have to be yours and every pregnancy is different from one woman to another. Hel, from one pregnancy to another.
    Little Killian born at 9.59pm on 30th April 2016


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