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D&C at 12 weeks after prenatal testing

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  1. #1
    sri624
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    D&C at 12 weeks after prenatal testing

    Hello everyone,

    I am new to this site. I have been lurking here for a few months and feel that this is a wonderful site. I am 37 years old...and my husband and I started our journey to have a baby about 9 months ago. I couldn't get pregnant....so after six months of trying, we went to a fertility specialist. The doctor told me I have "mild pcos," and that I wasn't ovulating properly. He put me on clomid and we did an IUI. The second time worked....I got pregnant. We were so happy. I was so afraid that I would not be able to conceive since I was "over 35"..."at advanced maternal age." I guess I just never thought I would be considered "old" at 37. At my 12 week prenatal counseling ultrasound and testing, they found serious problems with our child. I ended up having a D&C last week. I am devastated. I miss this child so much. I feel like I am too old...and I feel like because of my age, this could happen again. Is there anyone else out there who has had experience with this? I am just heartbroken. Sometimes the pain in unbearable.


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  3. #2
    jandj
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    I realize this post was quite awhile ago, but if you are still out there, I am wondering how you are and how you proceeded after your miscarriage?

    Thinking of you.
    Me (Jen): 42; DH: 46
    Male Factor & age-related for me.
    IVF with ICSI #1 -- BFP (twins), but
    miscarried at 11 weeks (6/30/10).
    IVF with ICSI #2 (with PGS)
    BFP -- 12/2
    Amelia was born 7/30/11
    FET#1 - upcoming in November. Using our
    only frostie. fingers crossed!


  4. #3
    sri624
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    hi jandj....yes i am still here. i am so sorry for your loss...i do know exactly how you feel. it is the hardest thing to ever go through. i thought i would never get over it...i really did...every day was terrible. the miscarriage that i had back in october was devasting to say the least. i remember my pregnancy being the first thing i thought about before i went to sleep and the first thing i thought of when i woke up. my whole world was consumed with just bein pregnant. i felt like i was so lucky to have conceived so quickly after months of trying. and then the worst thing happend....i mean, "how could this happen" how could life be so cruel is what i often said to myself...to my dh...everyone really. when i had the d/c, i was just numb. i just KNEW that i would neve get pg again. and then we started to try again with the fertility clinic...and a few months later i was pg again. now this time i was terrified. we opted to do all the prenatal testing this time and the amnio which all came back normal. i am now 22 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. my first baby died from a chromosomal problem...trisomy 18. that is why we did the amnio this time.

    i want you to know that i know things are horrible right now....but i will say that much to my surprise even, it does get better with time. for me, i needed to start trying again as soon as possible...or at least when the dr said it was okay. but every woman is different, you may need more time to grieve and that is okay too...allow yourself to do that. i used to get upset when people would say..."well, at least you can get pg." that really bothered me...but after a while i started to really believe in that and grew to understand that it really was important...just as it is for you. you can get pregnant, and you will again, when you are ready to start. i see that you did ivf...i did that as well when we were trying...and getting a bfp after that it really discouraging but, you have to keep trying. a woman on this site gave me some wonderful advice when i was right where you are...she said that when she lost her baby she kept telling herself that "her desire to be a mother outweighed the fear of another miscarriage."

    i am here if you ever want to talk. i know what you are going though.

    we can chat any time. hugs to you.


  5. #4
    jandj
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    I am so happy for you! How absolutely wonderful!!!! Did you do IVF this time around, too? How old are you?

    It does frustrate me when people say "at least you know you can get pregnant" and "it will happen soon." Mostly because I am 39 and we know we have to do IVF to get pregnant. So it won't "just happen." We have to go through hell to make it happen again, and I don't know if I can do it. IVF was really hard for me emotionally. And the 10 weeks of pregnancy was even worse. I was so sick I was out of work for 3 weeks and I became severely depressed. So on top of going through all that IVF stuff, my pregnancy was not a happy time. I have an appointment tomorrow with a psychiatrist that specializes in depression during and after pregnancy. I guess I'll see what she thinks happened.

    What is Trisomy 18? We found out one of our twins had Downs. The other was healthy but miscarried along with the sick baby. All of it is just so sad. But you know that.

    Thanks for responding. It's nice to know I'm not alone ... and also wonderful to know it CAN work.
    Me (Jen): 42; DH: 46
    Male Factor & age-related for me.
    IVF with ICSI #1 -- BFP (twins), but
    miscarried at 11 weeks (6/30/10).
    IVF with ICSI #2 (with PGS)
    BFP -- 12/2
    Amelia was born 7/30/11
    FET#1 - upcoming in November. Using our
    only frostie. fingers crossed!


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