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Religion problems in the house.....

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  1. #1
    Kat281
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    Religion problems in the house.....

    Hi everyone I dont normally post here but I need some advice. I dont go to church but I would love to. My husband was brought up a JW so he never celebrated B-days or Christmas growing up. Since he's been with me he has celebrated those. He has a problem though with me going to church with our children. He just wont allow it. I want our kids to be close to GOD and go to church. What do I do to get him to be okay with this. I mean granted our kids are still so young but still I want them to have GOD in their lives. I didnt go to church as a child and I feel that I missed out greatly because of it. Please help I dont know what to do.
    Kat
    JJ-5
    K-3


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  3. #2
    Kat281
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    Please dont send me a private message to this because I dont want him to see it and feel like I cant talk to him about it. or be hurt about this, I know it is probably a hard thing for him to be going through too.
    Kat
    JJ-5
    K-3


  4. #3
    Ellie Mae
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    Okay, no PM. I really don't know what to tell you. I wish I did. I will pray for you and for him for his eyes to open to this. Is there some sort of comprimise you can come to? Maybe ask him if you could all attend a non-denominational church. You need to be open with him in your communication. Pray for God to change his heart.

    If he won't allow you to take them to church, then you need to teach them about God at home. There are some great websites with free lessons for kiddos online.

    I am sorry you are going through this, and like I said, I will pray for your situation.

    Hugs,
    Heather


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  5. #4
    Tracik
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    I am sorry you are struggling with this and will keep you all in my prayers.

    One thing that might work is to "ease" him into the idea. As you said your kids are still young so you have a little time, and in the mean time you can go to a local christian book store and pick up some good kids books... mine Love any of the Hermie series books. My DH grew up with little religion and it took me about a year to really get him to feel comfortable in a chruch environment and several years to get him to engage in our community. I started off getting him to go to Christmas and Easter services. Then we added in a Sunday a month, You might see if he would let you take the kids to these services. Also for me a big argument was not just going to hear the word of god but the community and support that can often be found in a chruch community. For us this was the clincher.... we found an Episcopal community that is amazing and supportive (I was raised Episcopal but we did explore Episcopal, Unity, Luthern and a non-denominational church before finding this community). Your DH may be more comfortable in a less "in your face" church... maybe search for a, for lack of a better term, "laid back" church. He may also do better at a larger church where you can come and go with little notice... I know my DH liked these types of churches before we moved here and found our community.

    If you want to get the kids to church, and hope that your DH will follow later, maybe focus on finding a church with an active children's program and see if he would agree to going once a month just so your kids get "socialization" with another group of kids.

    I wish I knew the magic answer but do know that you are not alone, many people have this struggle. I pray you will find the right answer and know that there many ways to bring your children closer to God even if you can't take them to church right now.... Prayer, books, video's and music (Veggie Tales are HUGE at our house) are great ways to expose them now.

    hugs
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  6. #5
    BC-GoMom
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    Kat,
    First of all you are to obey your husband. That is incredibly difficult to say in our culture- for me as well.
    1 Peter 3 :1,2
    Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words, by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence in your lives.

    That does not mean that you cannot do some of the the things Heather and Tracy suggested.

    I can only add maybe look for a Mother's day out program at a church that you could do with your 2 year old. Mine have been and they get a lot out of that.
    When your children get a little older- you could seek out an AWANA program.... it usually starts at age 3. Great foundational biblically and DH may relent to letting kids go while you and DH have a some alone time.

    For you- some ladies have attended a good bible study during the week when DHs won't participate so that they have a local support system and prayer partners. Your dh may not mind if you are doing a bible study.

    Next- a great book- The Power of a Praying Wife has some great specific prayers to help you pray for your DH. It did change my prayer for my dh.

    I too didn't grow up in church and felt I missed something-I do understand that.

    The important thing is to continue to try.

    There are several women in our church/bible studys that battle your same problem. You are not alone.
    I too will pray for you.
    JenC
    Last edited by BC-JenC; 01-01-2006 at 01:10 PM.


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    Kat281
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    Thank you all so much for your advice. I appreciate it.
    Kat
    JJ-5
    K-3


  8. #7
    RobinL
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    Have you really discussed it in depth? What does he object to? Does he want them to grow up JW? Does he want them to have any religious education at all? Is he uncomfortable with other types of churches? Would he agree to some gentle interaction at church...a church supper, a music program, even a rummage sale...just to get a look a different type of church and meet some of the people. Could you go alone to church occasionally? Maybe after hearing you talk about it he might be willing to give it a chance. Just trying to think of ways to ease into it gently. You can always teach them at home, but I think the "church experience" is wonderful for children. Our church is like a big extended family.
    Robin
    Duncan (surviving twin)--15yrs.
    Chloe Rose (angel twin)
    Sophie--11yrs


  9. #8
    trustgod
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    I will pray for you, also. I think that is the answer is prayer. Pray for him. As you pray for dh, we will be in agreement with you. The Bible says that when two or three agree on any one thing, that he (Jesus) will be in the midst of them. I can tell you that he can do it. I was saved 3-4 months before dh came to the Lord. He gave his heart to Jesus and was delivered from alcohol. I know Jesus can draw your husband also.


  10. #9
    Kat281
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    My husband is def. not a devout JW because he celebrates B-days and Christmas. Those are big nonos in their books. But I think at the same time because he does celebrate these, I think that he may think he is disobeying GOD by doing so. He just doesnt want to go to church. He doesnt want to go to his church.(maybe for the reason above) He doesnt even like to talk about GOD, it makes him uncomfortable. I dont know if he is ready to fully believe. We are both still young(in our 20,s) So it could also be a maturity issue, I'm not sure. I know that I'm ready, I've been ready. I've always been very passionate about religion since I was young. Even though I didnt go to church when I was young it has always been a deep interest. JW's believe that Jesus is the son of GOD and not in the trinity. Being married to a JW has actually made me uncomfortable with this whole thing because I dont know enough to understand which is right. This can be confusing. I know that I want to have strong faith. GOD has always been there for me when I have need him. I have had so many of my prayers answered. Thanks again.
    Kat
    JJ-5
    K-3


  11. #10
    BC-Grace
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    I am glad you are posting here. Keep praying.
    Your servant,
    Grace


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