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  1. My before and mid-point pictures

    As noted before, you have to keep in mind that I am still fat. I still have another 40-45 pounds to lose. So, to avoid the uncomfortable silent blog pauses, no one is allowed to reply with anything other than "Yes. I see you are still fat, but keep on keepin' on" or "Duly noted". That's IT! Ok?

    (I put on the same shirt I had on in the 'before' pic...so you could look for the same lumps underneath. LOL)

    Before: Taken ...
  2. Bulletin Updates

    Ugh. I had a huge, long blog written out and then lost my internet connection & now it's gone. I don't feel like rewriting it, either. So irritating. Here are the "highlights"

    * Went for my first yearly exam since my Hysterectomy last year. Quite the interesting time. Did you know you still have to have a PAP, even if you don't have a cervix? Also, did you know you can still get cancer? News to me. Here I thought having all my female schtuff yanked ...
  3. Dressed for butt sex

    A conversation that I had with Colton earlier today:

    Me: How do I look?
    Coconut: Great! You look dressed for butt sex!
    Me: Where did you hear that?
    Coconut: On TV. They said to get a job, you have to look nice and dress for butt sex.
    Me: Uhhh....No, the phrase is 'dress for SUCCESS'.

    There are no words to convey the horror that smacked me in the face when my six year old, albeit unknowingly, said the words ...
  4. From the desk of Coconut

    I got such a kick out of reading Greekmom's letter from C, that I thought I would share the card I got from Coconut today. I am actually going to frame this because it's so darling...and hilarious.

    "I love you very muchmom. I would want a cat but you and Dad are for me truly. I love you mom you and dad are the best. I love you mom you and dad have to much love."

    I would want a cat but you and dad are for me truly. !!! How great ...
  5. My son, the chauvanist

    Here is a paper that Coconut wrote on the hierarchy of bees & what the mom and dads do:

    Bees are sometimes worker bees but not all bees are workers some bees are house bees they don't do anything.


    "Someone" must think I sit around on my big butt eating bonbons all day.
  6. A profound statement...

    Delivered by my five year old while sitting on the pot, waiting for me to help him wipe:

    "Mom, Daddy pays the bills & you wipe the butts."

    So there you have it.
  7. Just tucked my boy in...

    Nine o'clock was the earliest I could get him down. He just wasn't tired. He is out like a light now though. I turned down the lights and gave him an arm and foot massage with baby lotion. He was in heaven.

    He doesn't seem the least bit nervous about tomorrow. I am glad for that. Good to see my incessant mania has not rubbed off on him. We already did a test run of his clothes for tomorrow so that he doesn't try to throw a fit about them. Apparently, polo shirts are ...
  8. The Magician of Sex

    This just had me and I had to record it here for future reference.

    Colton has been sleeping in our bed. He loves to sleep in the middle. Often, DH and I tease him about making him sleep on my side so that I can sleep by daddy. The other night, we were teasing him and he got all huffy and moved over and said that I could sleep in the middle. So, I scoot over and act like I'm getting comfortable. Here is the conversation that ensued:

    Colton: HMPHPHPH! ...
  9. It's official, we bought the backpack...

    My little Coconut is going off to Kindergarten. Toys R Us is having a deal this week. If you purchase a backback, you get a free lunch box. We went over and he picked out a fancy Spidey backpack that has the pull handle and wheels. He put it on his back & I didn't know where to laugh or cry. He's so small (only weighs 34 pounds) and that pack went down to his knees. He looked like such a big boy though. I had already bought him a Spiderman lunchbox, so he picked out Cars ...
  10. "With the clothes off your naked boobies...you look kind of fat."

    This is what Colton informed me of when he walked in as I was changing in to my pajamas last night. I started to laugh, but then quickly changed to a sad, pouty face. (I don't want him to think saying people are fat is ok or funny.) He came up and said, "it's ok mom...I still love you. You just look a *little* fat."

    Where's my ALLI?!?
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