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  1. Karrington

    Well I have her for the weekend. Hmmm. She called and asked me to keep her for awhile while she ran some errands. That was at 2:30. She's spending the night. Poor baby has thrush really bad. We stripped her down and gave her a bath and lotioned her up and have just loved on her. I am OK. I had to let her come to see if I would be OK with it. And I am. I am not hurting or crying or anything. In fact I would prefer that her mom pick her up tonight. Nelson is not happy about her being here
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    Children
  2. Urghhhhhhhhhhhh!

    I texted the birthmother that I was sending the email and she responded that she would read it and give me a call today at about 1:30 or 2:00. No call instead Caleb calls me at 9:00 and we basically argue on the phone for an hour and a half. He claims he never said those things...OK then we move on to clothes and that is when it got heated. She did buy him a buttload of clothes. I told him to tell her to take them back. We don't need charity. He said I feel threatened and if it were anyone else
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  3. Letter to Caleb's Birthmom...

    I thought I would blog this as it is VERY long. Caleb is spending a few days with his bmom and bfather and bsiblings. Some stuff has happened as well...

    Dear L,
    I am sure you heard the conversation Caleb and I had yesterday while he was in the car. I apologize and I will apologize to Caleb. I should have waited until he got home to talk to him. But I was so hurt and just plain angry and pissed!
    I am going to attempt to help you understand where I am coming from. Some
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    Children
  4. Happy Early Birthday

    I took today off because I needed to conference with Micaela's teacher and also Sunday is Zeke's birthday and we are having a party for him at daycare. I love this daycare. They will do the whole thing without you even having to be there. But I am going. But bad mommy that I am I didn't get the cupcake cake ordered until about 15 minutes ago...LOL! So I had to run all over the place to find someone to have it ready in time. But it will be ready by 3. I was laughing cuz his party is so ghetto! ROFL!
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    Children
  5. Fulfill it or Take it Away

    This has been my request of God for the last couple of days. This longing for a baby...
    Here's what happened. On Sunday DH and I work in the infant nursery at church. We have the 0-6 month old babies. I get my baby fix that way. But for the passed year I haven't had that deep longing and desire and so I was just working in the nursery. Before it was because I NEEDED to hold babies and rock them. For over a year that need has been gone. So I am thinking I am OK. But then I start feeling
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  6. Thoughts From Today...

    Last night I went to a women's conference at our church. It was pretty good. The guest speaker was OK. But what was awesome were some of the ladies at our church had separate workshops on Saturday morning. You could choose to go to two. So I went to one titled, "Finding God between the diapers and dishes." This was presented by a woman who has 5 boys. It was awesome. But the second one I went to all I can say is wow! wow! wow! It was titled "Working Mom...How Do You Do It?"
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  7. I Am So Bad...

    I'm sitting here in class while my students are writing a paper about the Olympics. DH recorded some events for me to show them and they now have write about one of the events. It should be fun to see what they wrote. Anyhoo I have a mountain of papers to grade and just cannot get the energy to grade them.
    How am I feeling today? This is a good question. Indifferent and tired. I am physically tired and just cannot wrap my mind around any one feeling to be able to describe it. Things are
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  8. Today...

    I haven't written anything because to be honest with you I am in a very scary place right now. I have no tears left, I have nothing left. I dont even know what I feel any more but I do know this one thing...I love Nelson very deeply and very passionately and it makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL! I cannot even describe by feelings. Everything and I mean everything bugs me. I looked at the paper where I was nominated who's who and thought I am a lousy teacher right now. My students are driving me nuts!
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    Children
  9. Quick Note...

    Tonight we have our first counseling session. Both insurances will pay for the visit so it won't cost us anything. That's good news. I am truly very nervous about this. DH and I have spent alot of time talking lately, laying in bed late at night. I know he is trying. My feelings are so confused and jumbled. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I have told him to share everything with me as I do not believe he can hurt me any more than I have been hurt and I just have to know. So he has
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  10. Why Am I Not Surprised? But Surprised?

    I was reading someone's blog and they were talking about ppl leaving FT and going to *******.com. So I went to see if I could find a couple of ppl that I haven't seen on FT in awhile. Then I realized I have no way of finding them or I don't know how so I thought, I am going to see if I can find DH. I know the nickname he goes by online. Actually I started typing ******* and you know how it goes to where you have been on that addy? So I clicked on one and it said I couldn't go there until I logged
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    Children
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