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  1. #1
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    Gender- Vent

    I realize that I'm extra moody during pregnancy, but sometimes people say the most insentive things, and I can't seem to get over them.

    DH and I went to see our niece this weekend. While we were visiting, my BIL kept saying "I hope ya'll have a girl!" Now, I know this is no big deal, but when I tried to explain about the years of infertility we suffered and how we thought we'd never get pregnant; therefore, we would be extremely happy with which ever sex-- he would not let it go. Then, he said well trust me I have both and I know that girls are more special. (I sure hope my DN doesn't hear him say this.)
    He was 19 when he got his younger girlfriend pregnant. They had a very brief marriage, and frankly I feel they were both a bit immature to actually enjoy ANY child. Fast forward 10 years later, he is in a loving relationship for 7 years, and has his little girl. She is the joy of his life, but he and his wife got pregnant on the first try, so he NEVER had the same concerns that I did. I do think that little girls are "daddy girls", but after the amount of energy, time, and money DH and I spent to get pregnant giving birth to a baby with polka dots would be special for us!

    I get really p!ssed off with my BIL's attitude!! I just want people to be happy that we will get to participate in the wonderful world of parenting.

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  3. #2
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    Over 5,000 Post sarahp's Avatar
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    baker....pay no mind to that dope of a BIL! some people don't think before they speak!!
    i agree....a baby with polka-dots would be fine with me...we went thru ttc for a year, and it was so frustrating. luckily, i had a good support system. so i know how you feel.
    just brush people like that off, and dream of your polka-dotted little with either pink or blue dots!!
    Sarah (32) & Bobby (32)
    Cami ~ 6yrs old
    Adam ~ 4yrs old

  4. #3
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    I am with you on this one. It is also incredibly anoying when people steryotype genders. This week I heard the following: I hope you have a boy because they are easier to raise. Apparently this woman had never met my brother. Another dumb dumb said, "cross your fingers for a girl bacause they love their mothers more." I am amazed at the stupid things I hear constantly. I want to scream at these people, "do you know I worry every minute of the day that my baby will be healthy, and that I will continue to stay pregnant!!" Ugh. I guess they just don't understand.

  5. #4
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    Uhg people can be so thoughtless. Its terrible. I am so sick of negative comments already from people appaled that I am having triplets. Comments like "Oh thats just not natrual" or "Oh honey, you wont be able to be a good mother to that many babies." Hiss! People are rude. They are rude about gender, of which there is no "better" one, they are rude about fertility treatments, and then they are rude about your pregnancy. When it comes to pregnant women people just think its ok to say anything.
    Ok I'm done ranting, oh these pregnancy hormones make me fiesty!!!

  6. #5
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    Over 5,000 Post flea's Avatar
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    UGH! My BIL did the same thing to me! I completely understand why you got upset!!!

    My sister's husband was the one that told me I HAD to have a boy to carry on my husband's name. Why is it my responsibility? What about DH's older brother? It's not my fault that he's a total bachelor whore who couldn't care about anything but himself!

    Even the whore brother - when we called to say the IVF worked - said "well you better hope it's a boy"

    UGH! My DH doesn't care what the sex is...but his whole family does...I hate that!!!

    Me ~ 41 DH ~ 38
    English Bulldog ~ Sparky ~ 11
    IVF/ICSI Born 08/05 Delaney AKA Laney Girl
    AHM's ~ Love you! Mean it!!

  7. #6
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    I'm with you all. It seems like when you're pg, it's open season for anyone to make any comments.
    My MIL is at it now too. It's quite obvious she wants us to have a boy. She had twin boys and goes on with how "special" they were since there had only been girls in the family. And shes talks endlesly about how "hard girls are to raise".
    I think especially if you've been down a long ttc road, you appreciate the incredible blessing every child is!
    I know it's hard, especiall when you're feisty and irritable, but try not to let it get to you--it's just not worth it.


    JAK, 7/28/05
    MAK, 6/25/01

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    Actually I am hoping for a camaflouge baby.
    I am going through the same thing...lots of pressure from his family (boy to carry on the name), pressure from mine (girl...girls are so great), and pressure from friends (those who have girls that have basically told me if I have a boy they will be jealous and vice versa!!! Or other friends that have girls that say it's the best, better than boys. Well, hello? I have a 50/50 chance of a boy...and would be thrilled you nimrod!) It's sooooooooooooo annoying!!

    I truly in my heart don't care...I see such wonderful things in both and can't wait for a healthy baby, whatever it is!!

  9. #8
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    isnt it a nightmare what is it with these people????, they just dont get it!!, the amount of people that have said to me ''oh no.4 baby, still trying for a girl?'' ??????????WTF, that is not why i got pregnant, at any time 1,2,3 or 4 i actually really honestly and truly do not care what this one is, i think either would be good for various and different reasons, but i certainly wont be ''disapointed'' if i have either.

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