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My weekend...venting!

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  1. #1
    flea
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    My weekend...venting!

    Hi all!
    Sorry I've been missing in action! Crazy weekend filled with events and family and Monday was the daily grind!

    The weekend was all about my father. He was being inducted into the Lacrosse Hall of Fame and it was a very big deal to him. He invited 30 people to go to the dinner when all of the other inductees invited 6. He paid for everyone's meals, hotel, game tickets - everything! He even paid to fly my sister in from California. It was really great and I was very proud of him!

    The venting part comes from the long family history of my sister being in desparate need of constant attention. After she got married, she gained about 90 pounds and was really lazy. She actually was kind of gross to me but I always tried to give her confidence. I just couldn't even look at the length of hair on her toes

    Long story longer...she mocked on me all weekend about how fat I am and that I'm psycho hormonal. UGH! She hasn't been near me for the 13+ weeks I've been pregnant and doesn't know how happy I've been. I was only moody because she was abusive. Can you imagine - this is the first time she's seen me! Yes, I'm showing and quite proud of it. For crying out loud...I only weigh 110 pounds!!!

    Here were the comments announced to groups at the dinner and game:
    "Wow! You look like you have really bad posture"
    "I can't believe how big you are! Isn't she huge? You're not supposed to be that big at 3 months"
    "Hey Brian, I like taking pictures next to Flea because she's so thick on the sides. It's nice to feel that"
    "Hey Scottie, stay AWAY from Flea! TRUST ME! You don't want to get her upset"

    Then at the ceremony for the plaques I wore my turtleneck, sevens jeans (so cool), high heeled boots, and a flower hair tie (so you couldn't notice how bad my roots are) and actually felt really pretty and sexy! We were having professional photos done of the family and Brian took a picture with my sister's digital camera. I wanted to see the how the picture came out and she only zoomed in on me and my belly. She was laughing hysterically and showed everyone.

    I know you're all thinking...let it go...she's a jerk...she's just jealous. But how insane is that??? She didn't acknowledge that I made it to my 2nd trimester? She didn't even look at my U/S pictures. She didn't give me any time to let her listen to the heartbeat. How could she not be happy for me??? She has three kids and knows what I've been through! I'm still terrified of everything and honestly - it's so hurtful that I can't stop crying about it.

    It's her personality. She like to be "evil" and say rotten things to make everyone laugh. I had to keep it together as much as possible because it was my fathers weekend and I definitely did not want him to see me upset. The craziest part is that I can't say anything to her. She gets an attitude and that's even worse. She probably won't talk to me for months...which is fine. It's just sad.

    Thank you for letting me vent. So sorry this is so long...
    I do feel good about being pregnant and I'm very happy and feel very lucky to even have a belly because I never thought it would happen for me.
    Me ~ 41 DH ~ 38
    English Bulldog ~ Sparky ~ 11
    IVF/ICSI Born 08/05 Delaney AKA Laney Girl
    AHM's ~ Love you! Mean it!!


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  3. #2
    LACEE
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    What a B***H! Sorry, but that is the only way I would be able to describe her behavior. Is this the sister you were an ED for? My goodness...you'd think she'd have some clue as to what you are going through...and to think that she says you're fat at 110 pounds....PLEASE! She just has issues about herself that she reflects onto you because she doesn't want to see them in her own flesh and blood. I totally understand your frustration and would be P.O.'ed too if I were you. Not much you can do about it now, other than shrug your shoulders and say, "WHATEVER!"

    Just remember, she is like this and that others probably notice it too, but only go along with the giggling and so forth to appease her and to keep her off their back. As hard as it is to do, don't take it personally....I'd just try to avoid her as much as possible for the next 6 months so you can retain your sanity during your pregnancy!

    Hang in there August Hot Mama!!

    Lacee
    Lacee -Me 32 Him 36- (3/25/1995)
    **ttc#2 for nearly 4 years**
    * Nolan Clifford- 8/6/2000 (5 1/2 years old)
    * Rebecca Christine b. 8/4/2005
    I my AHM's!!


  4. #3
    punky
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    Oh flea. That sucks. Of all people in the world you'd think your sister would be your best friend. I am sorry for you. I don't have a sister but always wanted one.
    You mentioned that she gained 90 lbs. I am sure this really upsets her and has really played a huge negetive role on her self confidence. Therefore she probably tries to knock you down (because you are so cute, happy, slim). She's trying to bully you and put you down so she isn't alone. My mother was just saying this morning how mean her brother is and how he has to put everyone down to make himself feel better.
    I don't KNOW you but I do know you. I have seen over these past weeks/months how over the top happy you are and how funny you are. And your picture shows me how darn cute you are! Try not to let it get you down...this new baby and your dh, and I am sure the rest of your family is there for you and I have to believe maybe one day she will be too.
    Have you had a competitive relationship in the past?

    Hopefully she'll come around. Would you ever consider writing her a letter? You should print out what you just wrote to us and let her know how hurt you are! Although I'd take out that first paragraph about her! LOL! At least she can't talk back to a letter!

    Hang in there sweetheart! Your focus is your sweet baby!


    Heck, my brother (we are very close) never ever calls me...it makes me so mad...he's so preoccupied with his baby due 3/1/05.





  5. #4
    Aleks
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    I am so sorry that you have a sister that doesn't seem to be happy for you and your dh....And those comments are really out of place, how dare she? That's not right although I do get this sometimes from my family even though we are pretty thight. My sister the other day came by and saw my tummy. I just kind of balooned in the last week. I am 12 wk but I am also 122 lbs and my tummy is starting to be really visible. It is also my 2nd sucessful pg (but total 5th). So, my sis goes "my God, look at your belly, you are gonna be huge.." I kind of came back (I don't put up with crap, that's the way I am) and kindly told her to watch out for herself as she is only 6 wks behind me. And that was it. My mom also commented that with this pg I will get really fat. I said "so what"! I have a belly and I am proud of it especially after what I have been through. In the end I at least know that all in all they wish me well....
    I know your situations is a lot nastier as I can see but try not to worry about it. You are slim with a belly and be proud of if. And you will never gain 90 lbs with this pg! This stress is not good for you. I know it sounds mean but maybe it is actually better that she lives in California, don't you think?

    Aleks
    me-Aleks (33), dh (35)

    3 x (tx with immune issues) 2 beautiful girls on baby aspirin and Fragmin injections:
    #1 Adriana b. July/02
    #2 Anika b. Aug/05 aka "Cookie"
    Forever AHM... LYMI!


  6. #5
    LynnUS
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    Oh Flea I'm so sorry your sister did her best to wreck what should ahve been a really great weekend for all of you.
    All I can say is she must have some serious issues with herself to be so hard on you. I'm sure others noticed her outgrageous behavior and were embarrassed for her and you.
    Remember you can't control what your sister does but you can control how you react to it. Please don't empower her by letting this all get you down. Life is too short and you've worked WAY too hard for this pg to be anything less that overjoyed--you owe that to yourself and your precious baby.
    I know that you are glowingly beautiful in your pg state. Your sister should be ashamed of herself for acting the way she did.

    Please don't let this get to you sweetie!

    ((hugs))

    Lynn
    JAK, 7/28/05
    MAK, 6/25/01


  7. #6
    Lindey
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    flea, feel free to vent away you deserve it having to put up with that!!!!, that was so uncalled for, has she always been this way with you??, she sounds like a very unhappy lady, it sounds as though her life is a total mess if she gets her kicks by putting you down. dont rise to it, i have the same thing going on with with SIL, but its not quite as bad as she is not related to ME thank god , she is dh brothers wife. but it ruins family get togethers, and everybody has to watch what they say as she takes everything the wrong way, and storms off in huff, i have learnt now, (its taken 16 years) how to deal with her, i kill her with kindness, it stops her in her tracks. she cant deal with it. LOL.
    i tell her nice her hair looks, or ask has she lost weight as she looks great (total lies, she is a fat pig, but hey it works LOL)

    if this is out of character, write to her and find out whats going on, if this is the way she is, then theres probably not much is going to change her. and try to let it go over your head (i know easier said than done)

    bellyrubs to you, smile and think of how happy YOU and dh are, and everybody else is that you are pregnant, and let that belly hang out, if it would make you feel better i will post a pic of how big my belly is at the moment, if i could get my pictures shrunk (still waiting for dh to bring a program home for me )

    Linda


  8. #7
    sarahp
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    oh flea....what a nasty witch! i'm so happy she jumped back on her broomstick and went back to california! those comments were WAY out of line.....but, what lynn said was right....don't empower her by letting her stupid comments get to you. she is hoping for just that result. instead, realize that she is insecure, jealous, and immature, and forget about her. she's not worth wasting the emotions on.
    i am SO very proud of my 'bulge' and i think everyone else here is too! we all should be! being pg is such a privledge, and i feel so lucky to be going thru it and making wonderful friends like you girls to have to lean on when things are a little rough. lean on us anytime you want, and show off that belly! no matter how much our weight goes up, we should all be proud to be preggo!

    sarah
    Sarah (32) & Bobby (32)
    Cami ~ 6yrs old
    Adam ~ 4yrs old


  9. #8
    rncbech
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    Flea I am so sorry for your sister being so frickin insensitive. I feel she is just jealous and the only way she can win is by being mean to you and attempt to put you down. You know deep in your heart you are better than that and try not to let her get you down. You are preggo and you gives a frick of how much you weigh. I bet you look beautiful!!!!!!!!! ps I hope this is not the sister you ED for. I would be so upset.... if she treated you like that. Take care and don't let her get you down. Be happy for you and your baby
    CAri
    Me 34 DH 34
    Joshua Noah 06/07/05
    Gabriella Marie 10/24/06


  10. #9
    jeninsfca
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    Why do people have to act like that? I just don't get it. It seems like there's one in every family though, but I'm just so sad that in your case it's your sister. I have a brother-in-law like that (DH's older brother) who loves to tease, say mean things, etc, etc. I always tell myself that I'm not going to let him get under my skin because I know the truth is that he is just miserable with himself, but it's still hard to take.

    Like Lindey, I was thinking of showing you a picture of my huge gut to make you feel better and I have some lovely roots to go with it AND a big zit on my chin! I bet 99% of the non pregnant women at the dinner wouldn't be able to squeeze into your maternity pants!
    Jen 36, DH 36
    TTC #1 5 years. IVF #1BFN, FET #1 BFP!


    Harper, born 7/9/05!

    So lucky to be an AHM!


  11. #10
    flea
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    Thanks everyone! I am truly proud of my belly and love when people rub it! I don't know why I let her get to me...it just happened.

    NO!!! This is not the sister I donated my eggs for...could you imagine??? I'm just younger than my sisters and I didn't really get along or know them growing up. Instead I had to go to dancing school everyday where my Mom taught because it was cheaper than a babysitter. My oldest sister moved to California almost 20 years ago so we never had much of a relationship.

    I usually think the crazy things that my sister says are funny, but this one really affected me for some reason. I think I was really hoping for another reaction than what I got.

    Thanks again for being here for me! It's the first of the month so we'll have to post our belly shots this week, right Sarah?

    Love yous!!!
    Me ~ 41 DH ~ 38
    English Bulldog ~ Sparky ~ 11
    IVF/ICSI Born 08/05 Delaney AKA Laney Girl
    AHM's ~ Love you! Mean it!!


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