Where is everyone?

[AmandaK34]

So, I am a working mom....and I work A LOT....it is times like this that I feel like so many of my friends, who are mostly SAHM's, don't understand. So, I am asking -- where are you all? I'd love to get some conversations started around here!

[JAS]

I'm a SAHM and I'm open to talk.

[TTCyears]

I'm a working mom and oh so busy. I have a lot on my mind today and can't get to sleep. LOL. Happy problem! (Amazing babe, good job)

I'm lucky that my SAHM friends are all understanding; hopefully it's mutual.

I just read articles about coping with Mother's Guilt --- I love my babe, I enjoy my job and I wish I had more time for both.

Amanda, how are you doing with working "A LOT"?

Jas, seven children? Our former foster son is now one of nine children and I love that it's clear his SAHM mom takes the time to love and dote on him and his siblings (old and new).

[JAS]

Hi TTC, yes seven. Never planned on adopting that many. It's not easy but so rewarding. Somedays I wonder if working outside the home wouldn't be nice. Just a few hours each week would help my need to be social. I think no matter what you decide its what's best for your family and no one should judge you.

[TTCyears]

Grass is greener on the other side! LOL. I vote for PT jobs for all! Although my sister and SIL both had PT jobs and would say it has its pros and cons too.

My mom claims, that given her personality, it would have been better if she had continued working rather than becoming a SAHM. In 1972 she earned more than my dad but quit to be a SAHM. 40 yrs later, I earn more than my DH and continue to work FT while he is PT SAHD. I think this is working well for us, although I get envious of my SAHM friends who have time to craft. If I had a babe in my early 30's when we started TTC, I would be wondering more about my career, but after near a decade of IF/RPL, I'm now looking forward to retirement after completing my family... !!!!

I suspect we will foster again in the future ... and as you know that can lead to permanent connections...

Amanda and Jas, congrats to us on our babes!!!!

[Twomoms521]

hi ladies...i will be retuning back to work in 2 weeks and have so much anxiety over it. My baby girl is almost 9 weeks old and the thought of leaving her for the entire day 5 days a week just makes me so sad. any tips on how to cope and make the transition smooth? I'm also so worried that i won't be able to get her ready in the morning and drop her at my mom's in time for work. i just know i am going to miss her so very much. it's just so amazing how the time flies....i thought 3 months maternity leave would feel so much longer...

[TTCyears]

Twomoms, congrats on your babe!

I was really anxious a full month before returning, but it wasn't so bad when I did return.

Do you have any vacation time you could use to take a half day or full day off each week the first month? Do you have flexibility to work from home one or two mornings each week? Can your child care provider send you a picture once a day? and/or you may find it helpful to call the child care provider once or twice a day. During my breaks I still look at pictures or videos of DD.

We did two practice days the week before I returned to work: got up early, got ready, I went out of the house for an hour...

Congrats again on your DD. You both can do this!

[DMS721]

I think the anxiety of going back to work, is harder than actually doing it. It will also be much harder on you than your baby. I would do a practice run a few days prior to going back. I also try to get as much ready the night before, to make mornings less hectic.

Dawn

[AmandaK34]

Twomoms -- Dawn is right, it is much harder on you than it is on your LO. I also took 12 weeks off and really wasn't looking forward to going back to work....but it is going okay. Make sure you have found childcare that you are comfortable with and can trust -- it makes it so much easier.

As for getting ready in the morning --- I wake up at 4:30am, and pump both boobs.....then I shower and get myself ready......take care of the dogs.....get organized for the day.....THEN, I wake Sawyer and get her dressed.....nurse her....put the dogs in their "rooms"....and we are out the door around 6:45am for a 7am drop off. I found it was so much easier to get myself together while she was sleeping -- however, if I remember correctly, when I first went back to work she wasn't quite sleeping through the night, so I would nurse her around 4:30am and put her back to bed while I got ready. You will establish a routine, trust me.

Keep us posted!

[AmandaK34]

TTC -- DH and I have talked and talked about different senarios -- I also make more than him at this point. Right now we are both working and for now, it works....but I suspect that when (and if) more children come into the picture, that might change. I also can get jealous of my SAHM friends -- all those little playgroups, meet ups, etc., I just wish I could work some of that into my schedule.