im new

[emilee919]

Im new here and a little scared and nervous. Im not really sure what to say, so I guess Ill just start typing.

I have always wanted a baby. I remember when i was really young asking god every night to give me a baby brother or sister because I knew I was too young to have one of my own. As I started getting older I started wanting one of my own, even though I knew I was still too young (13-15). At sixteen I started dating Brandon, who is now my husband. I know sixteen is still really young, but we really wanted to have a baby. So we started trying in June of 2007 and nothing was happening. Then in January of 2008 I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited. We started planning everything and my parents asked us to move back in with them so they could help out. A week later I was packing and my stomach started hurting. I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding. I went to the hospital and they told me I was losing the baby.

In April I found out I was pregant again. A week later, I lost the baby. I had another miscarriage in August. Now nothing is happening again. I went to the doctor and they refuse to do any tests because Im "not old enough to know i cant have a child" Im only 18, 19 in September, but Ive always had this feeling that I wouldnt be able to have a baby. I know Im really young and there still might be hope, but we're still hurting.

My husband has two kids and it hurts so bad to hear them call him daddy knowing that I may never be called mommy. If we never have a child together, at least he has two children. Im scared if we never have one Ill end up resenting him later in life and it will ruin our marriage.

I know Im young, but it still hurts. All my friends have kids or are pregnant so they dont understand what Im going through. My family acts like its a blessing we havent been able to have one, and that hurts too.

Just looking for people who understand and can relate to what Im going through.


Emilee