New girl here

Sweet_Rae09 · 04-28-2009, 05:43 PM

I have been keeping this secret inside me for so long and I'm hoping that this site will not only help me with the painful emotional stress of TTC, but also to just talk to others who know what I'm going through. Here is my story...
I decided to get off birth control in November of 2006 to start a family. Since then we have been continually trying without any results. So I decided last summer that I was going to see a doctor to see what was going on since it had been a year and a half. I had to go through many tests, blood tests and ultra sounds. Come to find out that my progesterone levels are low and I'm not ovulating. The doctor was going to put my on progesterone supplements, but instead started me on clomid. I did 50mg for the first two months and then 100mg for the last month. All three times we tried it failed. I have yet to find out whats really wrong with me. It's going on three years now of wishing and waiting, hoping and praying and I just don't know how much more I can take. This has been by far the most emotional, painful time in my life. I have always loved kids, always wanted kids and now I fear that I may never have any of my own. It makes you feel so useless as a woman and it hurts so much more knowing that my husband wants a child more than anything and I can't give that to him. It's completely devastating and depressing.I have been up and down and all round with this and it's been so lonely. I have only told a few family members about what we have been going through for fear of being hurt. I hope that someone here understands me..

luckypenny · 04-29-2009, 09:54 AM

You have definitely come to the right place for understanding. This board is filled with wonderful, understanding, caring women who are always giving support and comfort. They are also exrtremely knowledgeable and great at answering questions.

I too have been very hesitant to share with others what DH and I are going through. It is tough when all around friends are getting pregnant and giving birth - I feel like the odd person out.

We started ttc in September 2006, so basically at the same time as you. After we got our initial dx. - it didn't appear that I was ovulating, DH's results were all very good - I decided to try alternative therapies. It has made a huge improvement (I ovulate for sure on my own now - confirmed via ultrasound in January). However, still no pg., so we are moving on to a new RE in October. We are ready to move on to IUI and, if necessary, IVF.

A book that someone here recommended that I found really helped me to cope, and to see that all the emotions I am feeling are normal when dealing with IF is called "Conquering Infertility" by Alice Domar. It is basically about coping with infertility.

BIG HUG!

NorthernGirl · 04-29-2009, 12:33 PM

My Dh and I have been ttc for 8 years this may, we had an iui in sept 08, and had a mc at 6 weeks with twins. We are going for our first IVF this summer(hopefully our last). Sorry to but in on your conversation but I was the same way for a long time about not feeling comfortable with telling people that we were having troubles and it was taking forever.. I got to the point where i was sooo sick of people asking when we were going to have children that i finally just started to tell people that we have been trying for a LONG time and was amazed to find out how many people that we are friends with also had trouble or are still having trouble. It's amazing how much support you can get and sometimes how good it can actually make you feel knowing that you aren't alone and if you need someone to turn to just to cry b*tch or just talk to that there is a good chance for a good ear. There are of course the people that you really could care less about and are mostly being snoopy but whatever, i would rather have people asking me about it than talking about me and just making assumptions. I know that not everyone is comfortable with talking about it but for myself personally i found this to be one of the things that is keeping my life normal with our IF journey. I think that there are sooo many people out there that feel like they have done something wrong or that they are the only couple that are going through this and can tear themselves apart about it every day, it's really sad to see. I think that this has brought my DH and I closer together, i still have my moments of sadness and jealousy when i see a women that is pregnant or find out that someone is expecting again but i think that is normal too. Hopefully you 2 ladies will end your journey with a baby in your arms very soon!! baby dust to you all!!

Sweet_Rae09 · 04-29-2009, 01:31 PM

Thanks ladies. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. I have fought with myself many times going back and forth on telling people, because it does get very difficult when people are always asking when we're going to have kids and when they just make these crazy comments that totally hurt my feelings, but they don't even know whats going on. I don't know. I am slowly warming up to telling more people, but I know that not everyone will understand. My own father says, "Why don't you just adopt?" He just doesn't get it...

toyoung4this · 07-10-2009, 06:49 AM

I understand it's hard telling people. But I do find it easier now to tell people what's going on b/c alot of people are going through the same thing as I am. I thank God that I have a 6 year old which was an unexpert pg but a blessing. We have been trying for 5 years with no luck. And it my case IVF isn't an opinion b/c insurance reasons.
Hope all goes well for you.

Tarpy · 07-31-2009, 11:40 AM

My wife and I have been trying to conceive(sorry, but I hate shortforms cause I never know what they mean) for 6 and 1/2 years with no success. We did 1 iui and never got anything from that. We have also conceived 6 time but miscarry everytime between 6 and 8 weeks. My wife is having a really tough time with all of it and the book "Conquering Infertility" has really helped her out. Hang in there everyone. We also went through the course at our local Childrens Aid Society for adopting and maybe fostering kids. At least then we have a backup. Good luck to you all.

Shawn

mmi · 07-31-2009, 12:06 PM

Has your husband been checked? 40% also have a male componant. You are really are just in the beginning of stepping your toes into infertiity treatments. You really need to do a midcycle ultrasound to see if the clomid is actual working, to measure your lining and then add an IUI(Intrauterine insemination) before you can feel like you are failing at getting pregnant. Go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist and do whatever it takes. We spent everything we had, but truly it was so worth it. wishing you a quick success.

04-28-2009, 05:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sweet_Rae09 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Washington Posts: 2	New girl here I have been keeping this secret inside me for so long and I'm hoping that this site will not only help me with the painful emotional stress of TTC, but also to just talk to others who know what I'm going through. Here is my story... I decided to get off birth control in November of 2006 to start a family. Since then we have been continually trying without any results. So I decided last summer that I was going to see a doctor to see what was going on since it had been a year and a half. I had to go through many tests, blood tests and ultra sounds. Come to find out that my progesterone levels are low and I'm not ovulating. The doctor was going to put my on progesterone supplements, but instead started me on clomid. I did 50mg for the first two months and then 100mg for the last month. All three times we tried it failed. I have yet to find out whats really wrong with me. It's going on three years now of wishing and waiting, hoping and praying and I just don't know how much more I can take. This has been by far the most emotional, painful time in my life. I have always loved kids, always wanted kids and now I fear that I may never have any of my own. It makes you feel so useless as a woman and it hurts so much more knowing that my husband wants a child more than anything and I can't give that to him. It's completely devastating and depressing.I have been up and down and all round with this and it's been so lonely. I have only told a few family members about what we have been going through for fear of being hurt. I hope that someone here understands me..

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04-29-2009, 09:54 AM	#2 (permalink)
luckypenny 100-199 post 3 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada (2 hrs north of Toronto) Posts: 113	You have definitely come to the right place for understanding. This board is filled with wonderful, understanding, caring women who are always giving support and comfort. They are also exrtremely knowledgeable and great at answering questions. I too have been very hesitant to share with others what DH and I are going through. It is tough when all around friends are getting pregnant and giving birth - I feel like the odd person out. We started ttc in September 2006, so basically at the same time as you. After we got our initial dx. - it didn't appear that I was ovulating, DH's results were all very good - I decided to try alternative therapies. It has made a huge improvement (I ovulate for sure on my own now - confirmed via ultrasound in January). However, still no pg., so we are moving on to a new RE in October. We are ready to move on to IUI and, if necessary, IVF. A book that someone here recommended that I found really helped me to cope, and to see that all the emotions I am feeling are normal when dealing with IF is called "Conquering Infertility" by Alice Domar. It is basically about coping with infertility. BIG HUG!

04-29-2009, 12:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
NorthernGirl 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: MB, Canada Posts: 17	My Dh and I have been ttc for 8 years this may, we had an iui in sept 08, and had a mc at 6 weeks with twins. We are going for our first IVF this summer(hopefully our last). Sorry to but in on your conversation but I was the same way for a long time about not feeling comfortable with telling people that we were having troubles and it was taking forever.. I got to the point where i was sooo sick of people asking when we were going to have children that i finally just started to tell people that we have been trying for a LONG time and was amazed to find out how many people that we are friends with also had trouble or are still having trouble. It's amazing how much support you can get and sometimes how good it can actually make you feel knowing that you aren't alone and if you need someone to turn to just to cry b*tch or just talk to that there is a good chance for a good ear. There are of course the people that you really could care less about and are mostly being snoopy but whatever, i would rather have people asking me about it than talking about me and just making assumptions. I know that not everyone is comfortable with talking about it but for myself personally i found this to be one of the things that is keeping my life normal with our IF journey. I think that there are sooo many people out there that feel like they have done something wrong or that they are the only couple that are going through this and can tear themselves apart about it every day, it's really sad to see. I think that this has brought my DH and I closer together, i still have my moments of sadness and jealousy when i see a women that is pregnant or find out that someone is expecting again but i think that is normal too. Hopefully you 2 ladies will end your journey with a baby in your arms very soon!! baby dust to you all!!

04-29-2009, 01:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sweet_Rae09 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Washington Posts: 2	Thanks ladies. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. I have fought with myself many times going back and forth on telling people, because it does get very difficult when people are always asking when we're going to have kids and when they just make these crazy comments that totally hurt my feelings, but they don't even know whats going on. I don't know. I am slowly warming up to telling more people, but I know that not everyone will understand. My own father says, "Why don't you just adopt?" He just doesn't get it...

07-10-2009, 06:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
toyoung4this 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Posts: 6	I understand it's hard telling people. But I do find it easier now to tell people what's going on b/c alot of people are going through the same thing as I am. I thank God that I have a 6 year old which was an unexpert pg but a blessing. We have been trying for 5 years with no luck. And it my case IVF isn't an opinion b/c insurance reasons. Hope all goes well for you.

07-31-2009, 11:40 AM	#6 (permalink)
Tarpy 0-99 post 2 of hearts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 14	My wife and I have been trying to conceive(sorry, but I hate shortforms cause I never know what they mean) for 6 and 1/2 years with no success. We did 1 iui and never got anything from that. We have also conceived 6 time but miscarry everytime between 6 and 8 weeks. My wife is having a really tough time with all of it and the book "Conquering Infertility" has really helped her out. Hang in there everyone. We also went through the course at our local Childrens Aid Society for adopting and maybe fostering kids. At least then we have a backup. Good luck to you all. Shawn

07-31-2009, 12:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
mmi 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 6,471	Has your husband been checked? 40% also have a male componant. You are really are just in the beginning of stepping your toes into infertiity treatments. You really need to do a midcycle ultrasound to see if the clomid is actual working, to measure your lining and then add an IUI(Intrauterine insemination) before you can feel like you are failing at getting pregnant. Go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist and do whatever it takes. We spent everything we had, but truly it was so worth it. wishing you a quick success.