Crushed...

[RuthieT]

My DH and I have been ttc #2 for nearly 3 years. We did over a year of infertility treatments (clomid, metiformen, 4 IUI's) with no luck. We met with a specialist back in December and was told either injectables or IVF was our route... But I am wondering if that is really our only chances. The year we were on fertility meds they didnt try other meds just kept me on clomid for a year. For the past month or so I have started to feel that I would be ok with the fact that baby #2 wouldnt happen and if it did it would be a miracle and very welcomed. But, now I see and feel that my DH wants another. He is more into his little niece that is a baby and the little boy I watch he enjoys playing with. What if I really cant offer him the chance to be a father again to a newborn, what if he isnt truly happy with our family. I already feel like I am letting him and our DD down not being able to offer them another child and sibling. I feel so horrible. Everytime after we makelove I cry. I pray that we could get PG and that this time is the night it will happen. But, of course it doesnt. What I am to do. Should I insite of doing other treatments or is there truly no hope, but to put out thousands of dollars

[Ferret Mommy]

I am sorry that you have been going through what you have. Have you thought about going to a different RE for a second opinion?

I dont have much to add.. but wanted to provide a hug... Best of luck!

[TTCyears]

Thursday I listened to a teleseminar by RESOLVE(.org) about "Clomid didn't work, what's next?" I perked my ears up when the dr talked about unexplained IF.

I had this whole reply to your message typed up, but just deleted it. Too much. Long story short - Clomid is not recommended for women who've been pg before naturally. Without any chances to increase, it decreases those women's chances (cervical enviro, implantation, etc.). The dr gave out his website addr and says a collegue answers questions on their bulletin board. I could give it to you if you'd like. He said to me and others - move on! I will. I'm glad you are.

During the seminar the dr would respond to women's Qs first by asking about the husbands sperm (and if the couple did IUI). Then he asked about HSG to show the tubes remain open. Then he recommended injectibles, and in some cases straight to IVF (e.g. for those never pg).

FYI - Previously, I had a really good response to prescribed Chinese herbs. It didn't result in a pg, but my BBT was awesome, warm and steady! My husband just took herbs because his SA morphology is above infertile but below normal.

I also have been ready to move on without another pg (and in my situation, perhaps without a living child), but my husband absolutely wants a child of his own. We've explored various options to see what suits us and when. We have a plan (and loose schedule).

As far as spending money? Depends on time and risk. Do you want the child now, or can you wait? If you wait, can you risk that it might now happen and would consider alternative? My most recent nephew was conceived naturally nine yrs after his brother; not for lack of trying. My good friend tried for two years and then had twins with medical assistance. Because my every-other-year pgs/miscarriages string me along I've been at this for six years. Is it time for me to spend money? My SIL would say wait, it will happen and it will be worth it; my good friend would say, spend it, stop this torture and hold your child now, it's worth it!

(although as we know there's no guarantees either way)

There's more than you were asking for.

I wish you well. I am glad you are at peace with the your situation as it is. I am glad your husband still holds desire and hope in his heart (and you do too). I know you both will find a wonderful end to this journey. I hope any more trials and tribulations are brief.

~Sharon B.