I hate "unexplained" - Page 17

JAS · 07-15-2006, 06:27 AM

Family of 2, and Marie Carla........just to encourage you. If you guys ever have to move on to adoption, do not be thinking that you have to pay 30K. Even 15K. Let me tell you.....I have adopted five kids, all private adoptions, and I found all of them myself by word of mouth. You don't need to pay some attorney 15K to make you a parent. The most I paid was $2500 for each adoption with the exception of my oldest two......they are american indian and the tribe was trying to take them from us, so we had some attorney fees, and the total for both was 10K. People are getting ripped off just to be parents and it is really sad. By time you finish paying for IF fees, who has anything left for adoption. IF you guys ever have to move in that direction, don't get stuck paying some attorney. You get the word out by letters sent to schools, therapists, and OB's. You let everyone know that you are looking and I promise you, you will find someone. I hope your dreams of having one on your own come true, but if not, you don't need afraid of the cost of adoption. There are ways around it. Good luck to you both, JAS

Familyof2 · 07-15-2006, 09:47 AM

Thanks for the adoption information, JAS. I am looking into some books to help me educate myself about all the options out there. DH and I talked about it last night and if our next two cycles fail, we are definitely on board with adoption. I have been doing some brainstorming and have some potential avenues for gathering the funding. I am feeling more optimistic about it today. I might be contacting you in the future, though, if that's okay. I'm sure I will have a ton of questions! I am really starting to feel excited about the prospect of adopting. Maybe we can have a family afterall!!

t-bird, thanks for your words of encouragement. I appreciate it!

JAS · 07-15-2006, 10:58 AM

Familyof2, You are very welcome. Anytime you want to PM me I can help you. I tell you.........I would not be here if there was not adoption. I wanted to be a mom since I was three and to find out that I could not, left me an emotional wreck. Adoption gave me hope again and I have been blessed with five great kids. I still want to experience childbirth and I have alot of pain still but at least I am a mom and that has brought me so much joy. I wish you the very best and hope that your dreams of being a parent come true. Do not give up! JAS

thunderbird · 07-15-2006, 01:45 PM

JAS, that's great info, and if things don't work out for me and my DH, I'll be looking for you for advice. My RE said 2 IUI then try IVF, and we can't afford more than 1 or at most 2 cycles of IVF (unless car breaks down or something or who knows - we've already given up on buying a house for now in order to handle this). So...it's good to know adoption won't be out of reach.

But in the meantime, I'm going to think positive thoughts and top up my fruit servings - and top up Familyof2's and MC's as well!

JAS · 07-15-2006, 02:47 PM

Good luck Thunderbird.......I'd rather have a child then a house anyday. A house is not a home without little feet pitter-pattering through it. Keep going.....you will get there.

JAS

Familyof2 · 07-15-2006, 04:00 PM

t-bird, don't top off my fruit serving - fill 'er all the way up! I'm slamming 'em today.

It was the nurse's order, after all.

JAS, I've never had an interest in experiencing pregnancy or childbirth. I'm sure they are wonderful things, but it doesn't really bother me not to experience them. What I will need to mourn, before moving forward with adoption, is the loss of having a child that is half me and half DH. I've never fantasized about pregnancy or childbirth, but I have always fantasized about what traits our children might inherit. That will be sad for me to lose. I imagine I will always feel sad about that, but I think it will lessen in time. The bottom line, though, is that we want to be parents and we both have experience with family members who are adopted so we know that, in the end, it doesn't matter.

thunderbird · 07-16-2006, 12:40 AM

Thanks JAS.
Familyof2 - I'm going to make a trip to the farmer's market tomorrow morning just to get even More fruit (and fun additives, of course) so that I can keep those fruit servings coming!

Familyof2 · 07-16-2006, 02:02 PM

Sounds good to me! I'm thinking of having a vegetable serving (i.e. Bloody Mary) by the pool at my neighbor's house shortly. Yummy! I'm starting to love having a month off!!

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07-15-2006, 06:27 AM	#161 (permalink)
JAS 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Sunny CA Posts: 1,282	Family of 2, and Marie Carla........just to encourage you. If you guys ever have to move on to adoption, do not be thinking that you have to pay 30K. Even 15K. Let me tell you.....I have adopted five kids, all private adoptions, and I found all of them myself by word of mouth. You don't need to pay some attorney 15K to make you a parent. The most I paid was $2500 for each adoption with the exception of my oldest two......they are american indian and the tribe was trying to take them from us, so we had some attorney fees, and the total for both was 10K. People are getting ripped off just to be parents and it is really sad. By time you finish paying for IF fees, who has anything left for adoption. IF you guys ever have to move in that direction, don't get stuck paying some attorney. You get the word out by letters sent to schools, therapists, and OB's. You let everyone know that you are looking and I promise you, you will find someone. I hope your dreams of having one on your own come true, but if not, you don't need afraid of the cost of adoption. There are ways around it. Good luck to you both, JAS

07-15-2006, 09:47 AM	#162 (permalink)
Familyof2 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TX Posts: 2,322	Thanks for the adoption information, JAS. I am looking into some books to help me educate myself about all the options out there. DH and I talked about it last night and if our next two cycles fail, we are definitely on board with adoption. I have been doing some brainstorming and have some potential avenues for gathering the funding. I am feeling more optimistic about it today. I might be contacting you in the future, though, if that's okay. I'm sure I will have a ton of questions! I am really starting to feel excited about the prospect of adopting. Maybe we can have a family afterall!! t-bird, thanks for your words of encouragement. I appreciate it!

07-15-2006, 10:58 AM	#163 (permalink)
JAS 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Sunny CA Posts: 1,282	Familyof2, You are very welcome. Anytime you want to PM me I can help you. I tell you.........I would not be here if there was not adoption. I wanted to be a mom since I was three and to find out that I could not, left me an emotional wreck. Adoption gave me hope again and I have been blessed with five great kids. I still want to experience childbirth and I have alot of pain still but at least I am a mom and that has brought me so much joy. I wish you the very best and hope that your dreams of being a parent come true. Do not give up! JAS

07-15-2006, 01:45 PM	#164 (permalink)
thunderbird 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bay area, california Posts: 1,740	JAS, that's great info, and if things don't work out for me and my DH, I'll be looking for you for advice. My RE said 2 IUI then try IVF, and we can't afford more than 1 or at most 2 cycles of IVF (unless car breaks down or something or who knows - we've already given up on buying a house for now in order to handle this). So...it's good to know adoption won't be out of reach. But in the meantime, I'm going to think positive thoughts and top up my fruit servings - and top up Familyof2's and MC's as well!

07-15-2006, 02:47 PM	#165 (permalink)
JAS 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Sunny CA Posts: 1,282	Good luck Thunderbird.......I'd rather have a child then a house anyday. A house is not a home without little feet pitter-pattering through it. Keep going.....you will get there. JAS

07-15-2006, 04:00 PM	#166 (permalink)
Familyof2 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TX Posts: 2,322	t-bird, don't top off my fruit serving - fill 'er all the way up! I'm slamming 'em today. It was the nurse's order, after all. JAS, I've never had an interest in experiencing pregnancy or childbirth. I'm sure they are wonderful things, but it doesn't really bother me not to experience them. What I will need to mourn, before moving forward with adoption, is the loss of having a child that is half me and half DH. I've never fantasized about pregnancy or childbirth, but I have always fantasized about what traits our children might inherit. That will be sad for me to lose. I imagine I will always feel sad about that, but I think it will lessen in time. The bottom line, though, is that we want to be parents and we both have experience with family members who are adopted so we know that, in the end, it doesn't matter.

07-16-2006, 12:40 AM	#167 (permalink)
thunderbird 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bay area, california Posts: 1,740	Thanks JAS. Familyof2 - I'm going to make a trip to the farmer's market tomorrow morning just to get even More fruit (and fun additives, of course) so that I can keep those fruit servings coming!

07-16-2006, 02:02 PM	#168 (permalink)
Familyof2 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TX Posts: 2,322	Sounds good to me! I'm thinking of having a vegetable serving (i.e. Bloody Mary) by the pool at my neighbor's house shortly. Yummy! I'm starting to love having a month off!!