New to Board, Unexplained.

Soulcry · 02-03-2005, 06:26 PM

Hi all, I have never been a member of any message board before but during one of my "despair nights" of searching the web for some sort of new fangled magic wand of a solution for this predicament we are all faced with I found this site. Hubby and I have been married for 10yrs and began trying from day one of marriage. After trying without success for 2yrs we visited dr & after several tests were given the verdict "unexplained". We then underwent a few courses of clomid followed by another drug begining with "F" which I cant remember the name of (well, it was 8yrs ago now!), all unconclusive. We then had the funding for 2x ivf cycles. The first cycle went well and a good fertilisation, although no pg. The 2nd (and finantially last) cycle again went well and I overresponded. Again good fertilisation rate but again no pg. So, now in a position of no money now to persue another try at ivf and at 31 I am deafend by the ticking of my body clock with every breath and there is nothing I can do about it. Isn't it hard!? I know I won't be the only one feeling this but you go through good and bad periods don't you. At time you feel so very strong, pull your head up and say "Right, get along with your life". And other times you just want to hide yourself from the world and be thoughly miserable. Noone knows (except my older sister) that we are having trouble or even that we are trying. In fact whenever it is mentioned by friends or family about us having children we go into an auto pilot of "kids?? bbahhh!" I suppose its a combination of being very private mixed with a large portion of feeling somewhat embarrassed and ashamed that nothing has happened. Anyway, I would just love to get in touch with people going through the same stuff... well, I guess I am in the right place

jcc · 02-03-2005, 07:01 PM

Welcome to FT. Sadly we have to meet under these circumstances. I am also unexplained. DH and I have been married 7 yrs and ttc for 5 yrs (me age 30, DH 32). We've been through the battery of tests, several IUI cycles (including Follistim injections which may be the "F" drug you referenced). No pg. I'm not convinced those HPTs actually show +++ signs! We haven't done any IVF cycles....that is the next step for us....we go for another consultation on Monday to try and get a cycle in sometime in the next few months. We've watched all our friends and family meet, get engaged, married and have kids in the time we've been ttc - - that is so hard. We get the dreaded question frequently. We didn't tell anyone of our struggles the first 3 years and had the autopilot answer to kinda blow it off. But - the last 2 years have been especially hard for us and we've opened up to others which has helped in my mind. I didn't want the "poor them" attitude but they are concerned and supportive and it prevents the awful inquiries. For others who ask our response is more along the lines of "We'd like to, it's just not working out for us right now" and that helps end the conversation pretty quickly.

This board hasn't been too active but there are others here which are, so take a look around. I have to say that FT has been great for me. I felt like I was losing it at times and just checking around here, chatting with others who truly understand and just having a place to vent and get support has been wonderful.

rusty123 · 02-04-2005, 06:21 PM

hi there i just got new from the fertility dr that i am also unexplained and its worst than if you have something wrong , everything with me is normal as its can be my dh is normal so what is wrong with me , everyone around me got kids or having them now , i am the oldest of my family and right noe my sil who is 10 years is expecting a baby this year and my younger sister is epecting her 3th , its been a really long road now for the past 5 years almost now and to my last straw on what to do now , my dr wnats me to try iui 's now , and for this month willl be doin a drug called femara for this month only.

Soulcry · 02-04-2005, 06:51 PM

Nice to meet you both

It is indeed sad that we meet under these circumstances but I am already seeing what a great place this is!. Just to know that you are normal for feelings you are having. I spent a good couple of hours reading through posts last night and I was in tears all through!. You manage to recognise parts of yourself in many posts.

I know what you mean about those dredded HPT's JCC, I can tell you right now.. that if I am ever so blessed as to see that longed for extra line on one of those tests I will be going out and buying 50 of the things so that I can frame them all!

Ok, so it may look a bit strange when friends come around to someone who "isnt bothered about kids" to be doing this... I will just pass it off as a new fashion in home decor.

I wish you so the very best for when you start ivf. As I am sure you have learned from ladies on the board that it is a long hard road both physically and emotionally. Just make sure you are in the strongest of spirits before you start. With my 2nd cycle I knew that it was our last chance. Just before the cycle began my grandfather passed away which tore me apart but I decided to go ahead anyway as it seemed to offer some hope. When it was unsucessful it just made me hit the ground that much harder and I went through a very very tough time of it. I suppose the mistake I made emotionally was pinning all last hope and faith on it and convinced myself that "this time is it!". The first cycle I went through very strongly with the attitude "It probably wont work but it has for so many! You never know". So I guess what I am trying to say is be strong and be prepared x.

I know what you mean about people overtaking you in the mother-hood stakes Rusty. It is hardest.. you feel very left behind. What is that drug you are on and what does it do? It is an ovary stimulant or is there further treatment involved with it?

rusty123 · 02-05-2005, 03:41 PM

the drug i'm goin to be taking this time is a drug they use in breast cancer patients , its called famera or known as letrozole, its has not have the side effects lkie clomid actually i been doin alot of research on the internet and people are having good results from it , my feretility dr is recommending it to alot of patients she said .

**BC-MAV** · 02-18-2005, 07:32 AM

Just wanted to give you all hope! DH and I have had unexplained infertility for 9 years. We started trying 1 year after we were married.... OPK tests, then u/s with OPK tests, then 6 failed natural cycles with Clomid, 6 failed IUI's without meds, and then on to 4 failed IVF's. Everything looked good on paper and the sperm were good and my linings were good and when we did IVF I responded great to meds and we made nice looking embryos but no pregnancies ever in all those 9 years ttc.

The only test that EVER gave some explanation were some immunological tests that 50% of the Drs. believed in and 50% of the Drs. did not believe in. We had them done anyways because we wanted an explanation. I came up positive for ANA (antinuclear antibodies to histones... and high natural killer cells... I know it sounds like rocket science but the theory was that my body was attacking the embryos) The treatment was heparin and baby aspirin to prevent inflammation and clotting around the embryos, and also IVIg to boost my immune system into not attacking the embryos.

It all sounded logical given that I had never been pregnant in all those years, but the IVIg was experimental, not proven, costly, and only approved for use by the FDA in people undergoing organ transplants!!! We opted NOT to do the IVIg and I think the data still shows that it is not proven. The theory sounds really good but I don't think there have every been double blind studies and the Drs. who advocate it are still charging big $$$ for the immune tests and the IVIg. If this is really a good theory it should have been proven by now and the Drs. should be charging patients but instead paying them if it is research.

Anyways we turned to surrogacy thinking if that immune theory were true a healthy fertile woman could carry our good embryos to term and we could have a baby. At least 3 RE's suggested it was a "no brainer" in our case to do surrogacy. I know it is not an option for everyone, but for us it has been the answer.

We had been to 5 RE's and gotten opinions from all and I thought we had done every test in the book after so many years but when pursuing surrogocay we used 2 different RE's in 2 states, me going through IVF, and having transfers to our SM, and still not having success, even with our surrogate!!! The 3rd RE said DH and I needed to have this test we had NEVER DONE.... a chromosomal anaysis .... before proceeding further with surrogacy to make sure that was not a reason for our surrogate not getting pregnant. Of course the analysis turned up normal. Our SM ultimately gave birth to our DS after 2 years of trying.

Just wanted to say hang in there. We still are unexplained, but we have had success through surrogacy. We have now been married 13 years, DH (42) and I (40), spent 9 of those years ttc and we have a 4 year old DS, so we know how it feels not to have an answer.... STILL!

02-03-2005, 06:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Soulcry Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: London Posts: 2	New to Board, Unexplained. Hi all, I have never been a member of any message board before but during one of my "despair nights" of searching the web for some sort of new fangled magic wand of a solution for this predicament we are all faced with I found this site. Hubby and I have been married for 10yrs and began trying from day one of marriage. After trying without success for 2yrs we visited dr & after several tests were given the verdict "unexplained". We then underwent a few courses of clomid followed by another drug begining with "F" which I cant remember the name of (well, it was 8yrs ago now!), all unconclusive. We then had the funding for 2x ivf cycles. The first cycle went well and a good fertilisation, although no pg. The 2nd (and finantially last) cycle again went well and I overresponded. Again good fertilisation rate but again no pg. So, now in a position of no money now to persue another try at ivf and at 31 I am deafend by the ticking of my body clock with every breath and there is nothing I can do about it. Isn't it hard!? I know I won't be the only one feeling this but you go through good and bad periods don't you. At time you feel so very strong, pull your head up and say "Right, get along with your life". And other times you just want to hide yourself from the world and be thoughly miserable. Noone knows (except my older sister) that we are having trouble or even that we are trying. In fact whenever it is mentioned by friends or family about us having children we go into an auto pilot of "kids?? bbahhh!" I suppose its a combination of being very private mixed with a large portion of feeling somewhat embarrassed and ashamed that nothing has happened. Anyway, I would just love to get in touch with people going through the same stuff... well, I guess I am in the right place

02-04-2005, 06:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
rusty123 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: toronto Posts: 94	me too hi there i just got new from the fertility dr that i am also unexplained and its worst than if you have something wrong , everything with me is normal as its can be my dh is normal so what is wrong with me , everyone around me got kids or having them now , i am the oldest of my family and right noe my sil who is 10 years is expecting a baby this year and my younger sister is epecting her 3th , its been a really long road now for the past 5 years almost now and to my last straw on what to do now , my dr wnats me to try iui 's now , and for this month willl be doin a drug called femara for this month only.

02-05-2005, 03:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
rusty123 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: toronto Posts: 94	hi the drug i'm goin to be taking this time is a drug they use in breast cancer patients , its called famera or known as letrozole, its has not have the side effects lkie clomid actually i been doin alot of research on the internet and people are having good results from it , my feretility dr is recommending it to alot of patients she said .

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02-03-2005, 07:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
jcc 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Cleveland, OH Posts: 3,129	Welcome to FT. Sadly we have to meet under these circumstances. I am also unexplained. DH and I have been married 7 yrs and ttc for 5 yrs (me age 30, DH 32). We've been through the battery of tests, several IUI cycles (including Follistim injections which may be the "F" drug you referenced). No pg. I'm not convinced those HPTs actually show +++ signs! We haven't done any IVF cycles....that is the next step for us....we go for another consultation on Monday to try and get a cycle in sometime in the next few months. We've watched all our friends and family meet, get engaged, married and have kids in the time we've been ttc - - that is so hard. We get the dreaded question frequently. We didn't tell anyone of our struggles the first 3 years and had the autopilot answer to kinda blow it off. But - the last 2 years have been especially hard for us and we've opened up to others which has helped in my mind. I didn't want the "poor them" attitude but they are concerned and supportive and it prevents the awful inquiries. For others who ask our response is more along the lines of "We'd like to, it's just not working out for us right now" and that helps end the conversation pretty quickly. This board hasn't been too active but there are others here which are, so take a look around. I have to say that FT has been great for me. I felt like I was losing it at times and just checking around here, chatting with others who truly understand and just having a place to vent and get support has been wonderful.

02-04-2005, 06:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
Soulcry Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: London Posts: 2	Nice to meet you both It is indeed sad that we meet under these circumstances but I am already seeing what a great place this is!. Just to know that you are normal for feelings you are having. I spent a good couple of hours reading through posts last night and I was in tears all through!. You manage to recognise parts of yourself in many posts. I know what you mean about those dredded HPT's JCC, I can tell you right now.. that if I am ever so blessed as to see that longed for extra line on one of those tests I will be going out and buying 50 of the things so that I can frame them all! Ok, so it may look a bit strange when friends come around to someone who "isnt bothered about kids" to be doing this... I will just pass it off as a new fashion in home decor. I wish you so the very best for when you start ivf. As I am sure you have learned from ladies on the board that it is a long hard road both physically and emotionally. Just make sure you are in the strongest of spirits before you start. With my 2nd cycle I knew that it was our last chance. Just before the cycle began my grandfather passed away which tore me apart but I decided to go ahead anyway as it seemed to offer some hope. When it was unsucessful it just made me hit the ground that much harder and I went through a very very tough time of it. I suppose the mistake I made emotionally was pinning all last hope and faith on it and convinced myself that "this time is it!". The first cycle I went through very strongly with the attitude "It probably wont work but it has for so many! You never know". So I guess what I am trying to say is be strong and be prepared x. I know what you mean about people overtaking you in the mother-hood stakes Rusty. It is hardest.. you feel very left behind. What is that drug you are on and what does it do? It is an ovary stimulant or is there further treatment involved with it?

02-18-2005, 07:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,652 Blog Entries: 50	Just wanted to give you all hope! DH and I have had unexplained infertility for 9 years. We started trying 1 year after we were married.... OPK tests, then u/s with OPK tests, then 6 failed natural cycles with Clomid, 6 failed IUI's without meds, and then on to 4 failed IVF's. Everything looked good on paper and the sperm were good and my linings were good and when we did IVF I responded great to meds and we made nice looking embryos but no pregnancies ever in all those 9 years ttc. The only test that EVER gave some explanation were some immunological tests that 50% of the Drs. believed in and 50% of the Drs. did not believe in. We had them done anyways because we wanted an explanation. I came up positive for ANA (antinuclear antibodies to histones... and high natural killer cells... I know it sounds like rocket science but the theory was that my body was attacking the embryos) The treatment was heparin and baby aspirin to prevent inflammation and clotting around the embryos, and also IVIg to boost my immune system into not attacking the embryos. It all sounded logical given that I had never been pregnant in all those years, but the IVIg was experimental, not proven, costly, and only approved for use by the FDA in people undergoing organ transplants!!! We opted NOT to do the IVIg and I think the data still shows that it is not proven. The theory sounds really good but I don't think there have every been double blind studies and the Drs. who advocate it are still charging big $$$ for the immune tests and the IVIg. If this is really a good theory it should have been proven by now and the Drs. should be charging patients but instead paying them if it is research. Anyways we turned to surrogacy thinking if that immune theory were true a healthy fertile woman could carry our good embryos to term and we could have a baby. At least 3 RE's suggested it was a "no brainer" in our case to do surrogacy. I know it is not an option for everyone, but for us it has been the answer. We had been to 5 RE's and gotten opinions from all and I thought we had done every test in the book after so many years but when pursuing surrogocay we used 2 different RE's in 2 states, me going through IVF, and having transfers to our SM, and still not having success, even with our surrogate!!! The 3rd RE said DH and I needed to have this test we had NEVER DONE.... a chromosomal anaysis .... before proceeding further with surrogacy to make sure that was not a reason for our surrogate not getting pregnant. Of course the analysis turned up normal. Our SM ultimately gave birth to our DS after 2 years of trying. Just wanted to say hang in there. We still are unexplained, but we have had success through surrogacy. We have now been married 13 years, DH (42) and I (40), spent 9 of those years ttc and we have a 4 year old DS, so we know how it feels not to have an answer.... STILL!