Going to be a Great Aunt and BF is prego too

[conceivable]

On Christmas Eve, my neice took a family picture of our super x-large family and no sooner the flash goes off, my nephew announces, while the family's gathered around, that he has a gift for my father-in-law and he says Grandpa I know how you don't like gifts and of course my father-in-law is being grumpy and waving his hand "no" "no" like he doesn't want a gift, but my nephew says Grandpa, this one you can't return, you're going to be a Great-Grandpa. It was a roar from the crowd and right then and there I think there was a knife going through my heart and I swear I couldn't breathe!!!! Thank God my other neice was there and she was able to give me some consolation and just said all good things come in 3's (meaning her and me would be next). Merry Christmas

4 days later my BF announced her pg. and instead of just emailing me like we do 5 times a day she kept saying I have something to tell you can I come over - I prepared myself and knew what it was. I acted so cold to her, not to be cold, but just to "survive" the moment. It was her first month trying.

It is sooo hard to be happy for pg. people because emotionally I "am not there" with them to be happy for them. I truly believe you can't give what you don't have - I have so many things to be happy for in my life, and yet I can't find it within myself to ask about their pregnancy or whatever. It is pure jealousy and somehow believing these people took your dream - this is crazy, but I can't stop find it within myself to think pure thoughts of happiness for these people - I keep drifting to a pity-party - urgh!
-C'able

DH and I have been ttc for 4-5 yrs. and 1 IVF in 5/07 - bfn. Currently undergoing IUI.

[JAZZYBOOBARBIE]

I definitely understand your feelings and they are completely normally. Last year I experience 1 failed IVF w/PGD cycle and in Oct 2006 I gave birth to a still born baby boy (Philip). I have a balanced chromosome translocation which I passed along to my baby and unfortunately his was unbalance therefore Ivf is my only hope of conceiving and healthy child. Needless to say, everyone around me is pregnant (two of my good friends, two co-workers and and couple random people you just know). My heart feel like it's bleeding constantly and nobody seems to understand the severity of the pain.
Remember your not alone and hang in there!

Shawn,
31 years old

[Insecure & Sad]

Boy do I understand..

My SIL is preg...again!! I am hearing announcements everywhere. I am in the beginning stages of a FET and even my own dh does not understand why I can't be happy for other's announcements.

[conceivable]

My 2 BFs in the entire world got together this weekend and basically I couldn't join them because well, you know IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was at cd3 and needed baseline bloodwork. Anyway, they had a great weekend together out-of-town. Even though I was scheduled to go, AF was late and pushed my cd's back 3 days. As if IF hasn't taken enough away from me, it only gets better every month...

My prego BF and my other BF told me about what a great weekend they had - they went to Babies 'R Us and bought maternity clothes for my BF and people were laughing so hard at them because every two minutes they were like what is this and look at this - here I've been looking at that stuff for years and fantasizing about all those items for years and here my BFs are looking at these items with amazement. I guess that's what happens when you get pg in a month - you don't have much time to dream...my friends in Babies R Us reminded me of the Little Mermaid scene where she brushes her hair w/a fork. Hmmm, what a concept pregnancy as a novelty...

I am so jealous of my prego BF! I wish I could be happy for her, I am trying, but I have days... -C'able

[Junebugz]

Ugh...I so understand what you're going through. My BF just had a baby (after trying 2 cycles), and the whole time she was preg, she kept telling me "this is happening to me, and I feel such-and-such". I always thought, "yeah, I know all about pregnancy because I've been reading about it and researching it for almost 5 years!" It is hard and seems so unfair, but please know that you are not alone. There are others of us that truly understand all the crazy, mixed-up emotions that you deal with daily. I just keep telling myself that someday it WILL be ME at BRU oogling and ahhing over the things I'll need for MY precious one.

Me: 27 DH: 27
TTC: 5 years
Diagnosis: PCOS
Ovarian Drilling scheduled for March 18!
www.thelifeofchelle.blogspot.com

[ctown]

Just read your story about the Christmas announcement and had to share a recent experience... We were at my niece's first birthday party, watching her open gifts in front of 20 people or so. The parents make a big announcement to pay careful attention to this last gift from Mommy and Daddy-- they open it up and it is a hat that says "Big sister". Ugh. They didn't know we were in the middle of an ivf cycle, but certainly knew of our struggles over the past 5 years or so... It's hard for me to understand why it didn't dawn on them to at least give us a heads-up beforehand?? It really drove home to me that people who haven't been through this just don't get it....

[EbonyPrncess1]

Oh my gosh, I defnitely understand and it is completely normal for someone in our shoes to feel this way.

Not only am I a great aunt now by my two oldest neices (who I watch grow up), but I am hearing baby annoucements all over the place. People getting prenant while not even trying and even some that were on bc pills and STILL got pregnant. Arrrgh!

Then the other day I went to my Primary Care doctor for an annual exam and the nurse that weight me in and did some on the test in my room was pregnant, and as I was laying on the table and she was trying to hook me up to this machine, her tummy kept rubbing against me and I thought I want to scream and burst into tears right then and there. She then procedes to tell me that she is having ANOTHER boy and she was hoping for a girl because she already has 3 boys. I held my composure and got out of there as fast I could.

I can't wait for my IF journey to be over.

EP

[jassystar]

EP-that sounds like a horrible experience at the doctors.