TTC and my sister is now pregnant......

[iwanababy]

Well, I am 34 and DH is 33. We have been TTC for 2 years. Just this past year we started seeing fertility doctors to find out why we are unable to get pregnant.

Three doctors and several tests later I was told I have POF and that DE or adoption was the only options we had to achieve the family that we so badly want.

As if it wasn't enough just dealing with that news and being totally devistated, my sister, who is 10 years younger, finds out that she is pregnant. Ironically, she had her very first doctors appointment the same day I got my news. It was over the Thanksgiving holiday and they did not know whether or not to tell me of her news so they waited about a week afterwards....yeah, that made it easier to take...LOL.

Now, it is not that I am not happy for her, because I AM! I am just sad for my situation and the fact that I have been trying longer and she just started trying and got pregnant so fast. Sometimes I wonder why GOD let this happen to me....WHY ME? But then I try to remind myself that he has a reason for everyting.

Now that my sister is pregnant, it seems like every time I talk to her or my mom, it's all they seem to talk about. It is so frustrating. It's sometimes hard to act like I am into the conversation, because it just reminds me of the fact that I cannot get pregnant and makes me mad.

Recently, while out eating with both my sister and my mom, they started talking about it and my mom mentioned DE. She said, well at least if you use donor eggs then it is still your husbands and you will carry the baby so you will bond with it. It would not be that bad.....you can still have children if you want. It really upset me that they act as if it is no big deal......just use someone elses eggs and its all OK (not that it is not ok, but I am not ready to accept that as my last option yet).

Needless to say, I may have been rude when I told them that it was easy for them to say since my mom was able to have children and my sister is pregnant. However, they did shut up after that. It really does blow my mind how insensitive people can be. I know they did not mean to be insensitive, but people need to think about what they are going to say before saying it.

Ok, now that I have that off my chest, why is it that when dealing with something such as infertility, everyone you know gets pregnant and everywhere you go all you see are pregnant women and all the comercials on TV are for pregnancy tests? Is it that we are just noticing it more or what? Anyone know? LOL

[iwanababy]

Dear Farmerswife,
You are right, I know most people who don't have infertility problems have NO understanding of what it feels like and they often do not know what to say to someone in our position. I did look at the websites which you suggested and they are great. My best friend of almost 30 years also has fertility issues and I am going to forward them to her as well. Thanks