ugly green jealousy monster rearing it's head!

[shef]

OK. I know everyone is going to think this is really ugly of me, but I've just got to get this off my chest. My best friend who has three kids in a row without any fertility problems just told me she and her husband are not using birth control at this time. All she has to do is think about pregnancy and she becomes pregnant.... I just can't take the fact that she'll soon, no doubt, get pregnant with another (if she isn't already)!
I've reached the point where I frequently ask my husband if any of his wives are pregnant, just to prepare myself for the news!
I've had to endure 2 miserable years of hearing constantly about other people's pregnancies (friends and family without fertility issues, who have popped kids out one after another, literally). I thought I got over this ugly green monster, but no go! How do you learn to be happy for your friends when all you really are is jealous????

[Willconceive]

I don't think you really ever do until you have a baby on your own. I have been ttc for five years and this year seven babies were born around us including four between close family members alone! Even my evil SIL and my dh 19 year old neice had twin boys!!!! and my brother had another with a girl he hates and was hoping that he was NOT the father!!! Look, I don't know what to say to brush off our hurt. It's not a jealousy it's a missing piece of our lives. We don't feel complete without it. It's a deep hurt honey. You and I will have babies think about it this way, she will never love her child like you will love yours. People don't value what comes easy. She won't understand your love or care for your child and when we do have our children we will be so much closer to God because we will KNOW FOR A FACT THAT OUR CHILDREN ARE TRULY LITTLE MIRACLES---not ideas, accidents or pleasant surprises...not many women can say that! Be encouraged. Your fight isn't alone....We will get through this--only by God though!!!

[Willconceive]

famerswife, that's actually a pretty smart idea!

[shef]

thank you so much for writing back.
It helps to hear from others who have known some of the pain I have known. IF is like going through a death and all the phases of mourning: denial, anger, grief, bargaining, trying to figure out what I might have done wrong to deserve this.
I guess I see other pregnant women as having been given the last baby....
It's hard to separate myself from them. I actually tried practicing the idea that everyone else is pregnant. It helped a bit.
Last year I was completely numb when I heard about 15 different pregnancies of friends and family, all going on their third, fourth or fifth kids.
I was reeling.
This year, despite my RE's questioning if he could help me, I've felt more hopeful, after a friend beat IF with acupuncture and organic.
Her story gave me hope. I just get sidetracked when I see or hear of others who don't seem to have to work for it. It just seems SO unfair. I've just GOT to take my nose out of their business. Tough to do, though, when it's a close friend.