My sil is pg and I'm having a hard time

[beaglenutty]

O.k. this is going to be a vent. I just found out that my sil is pg. My brother and her have been married six weeks. We weren't trying they said. It just happened. I didn't cry until after I got off the phone. I just found out a week ago that we probably can't get pg unless we do IVF. I feel like such an a** right now. When I got off the phone dh says great now my life is going to be a living hell now. Just what I wanted to hear. Then he says I need to be happy for them. I feel like I'm the only one in t he world that fells this way. I'm really MAD right now. Why am I being punished? I want a baby soooo bad. Why do I have to deal with this all? I don't want to have to listen to them talking about it at the holidays. I don't I just don't. I love my brother so much and I should be happy for him. Instead I'm feeling sorry for myself. I just wish these feelings would go away. That I could just turn off the feelings of wanting a baby. Then I would be fine with everyone having babies but me. But that fee ling just won't go away. Sa basically I'm being tortured. It's just not fair. IF is not fair......

[Writinit]

It is totally not fair ( I know I've already answered you but here I go again) and you have every right to be upset. It is NOT FAIR.
Your DH needs to understand that it's perfectly normal for you to be upset, you have every right to be. They barely tried... they're so young. And THEY are the ones who are prg. And you (even though you know logically that you will, you WILL, be a parent one day) are faced with all the wondering and questions... it's so hard to be hopeful when you've endured so many BFNs. We all understand that.

The holidays are torturous for us. Is there any way you can leave town? You can go on a short trip, do something for yourself?

I'm so sorry

HUGS

[jleo]

Beaglenutty-
I know exactly how you feel - the torment, the WHY ME? or better yet WHY NOT ME? I just got back from a family function - spent all day seeing my pregnant SIL, and two other in-laws with their babies. I felt like everyone was looking at me like what is my problem. This IF thing is the worse and you have every right to be angry and upset - so vent away and know that you are not alone.

[Mondayschild]

Sounds like me last week, a wedding DH was in 8wks ago, for a very close friend, announced they were pg about 2wks ago. I told DH do not tell me anyone else is PG until we are. I love my die hard bachelor brothers, who practice safe sex and have never been in a serious relationship. Hearing about others pg, just makes me feel like such a failure, just adding more pressure and stress to me. I try to keep positive for ttc each month and that is just negative energy to me. Sure I am happy for everyone else that conceives when they want. I just do not want to hear about it.

PS: for everyone out there that says they were not even trying, unless you are using contraceptives(correctly), you are trying.

[beaglenutty]

Thanks guys,
I think I just need to stay away from them for a while. I'm afraid of hurting my brothers fellings. I think I want to stay home on Thanksgiving. DH said he was fine with that. I think that my family might wonder though. I told my moma dn she understands. I guess we will see. I have a therapist appt next week. I guess I will get my moneys worth then.

[KelliAnn]

Beagle,
How are you doing hon? You have every right to feel the way you do! Avoidance is my friend. The holidays are going to be rough, you do what YOU have to do to stay sane. I'm so sorry sweetie!

[beaglenutty]

Kelli,
thanks I'm doing o.k. I'm trying not tooo think about it. My brother hasnt called me in a couple of days. So that is good. I hate to be that way but its hard listening to them. Then yesterday I got AF. So our last IUI didn't work. The last three weeks have been hell. First RE says he thinks the only way to get pg is IVF. Then they get pg then I get AF. I don't know what I would do w/out this group.

[KelliAnn]

Beagle,

I'm so sorry about about AF! So far, no one in my family has announced a pg. There are only 2 that could, and one claims she wants no more and the other has a baby who is 2 mos. old. I do await in fear over our pastor & his wife announcing. I know she wants one and when everyone but US wants one, they seem to get their dreams answered!

[jleo]

If it is any consolation, I had horrible cramps on Sunday (followed by AF this Tuesday). So, I knew AF was coming the same day I had to attend a family Christening. That was followed by a phone call at work, where I was asked that famous questions "Are you a mother?" - because since I am not, I can not possibly understand some things.

[Herbsie]

Originally Posted by jleo

That was followed by a phone call at work, where I was asked that famous questions "Are you a mother?" - because since I am not, I can not possibly understand some things.

Oh I hate those questions. I probably know a lot more than most moms do because of my desire and because of having to wait so long - more time to read those agonising articles about motherhood.

I have a "friend" who calls me about twice a year and each time she asks the exact same question. I hate it because I have to tell her "No" every time and then get told how I shouldn't give up I was meant to be a mother, blah, blah, blah.