We are the only ones left

**BC-Deswife03** · 11-04-2006, 11:32 PM

I just found out that another one of my friends is pregant. I am so upset. I know I should be happy for her but now we are the only couple in our circle of friends who are not pg or have children. I am fealling really low and dh is just completely shut down and not talking. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Thanks for listening.

hollym · 11-05-2006, 05:39 AM

(((((hugs)))))
i know the feeling all too well. the most important thing right now is to let your husband grieve too. if he's like my husband, talking about it just makes him feel worse. and you want to talk about it like i do. our men are so different from us. i don't know if all men are like that, but it sounds like ours are. coming here will help you. when you need to talk, come to us because we are here to listen. if your dh is like mine, he wants to tell you what to do to solve the problem. and right now, there is no solution because it's out of your control. so that probably frustrates him. men are problem-solvers. women are sympathetic listeneres. so just pray for him, let him know you love him, and hold tight to him.

it is very painful being the one left out. all of my friends have babies and kids and many are pregnant again with #2 or#3 currently. i'm the only one without kids, and it hurts so much. but finding support from other women who do understand helps a lot.

keep your friends close even though sometimes it hurts. you never know what they're going through personally either. but when you need your space away from them and their families, don't hesitate to protect yourself.

many gentle (((((hugs)))))
~holly
ttc #1 almost 10 years
mild endo
graves disease
chronic uterine infection

Writinit · 11-05-2006, 06:37 PM

Holly, as always, has great advice for you.
I'm so sorry. I very much know the feeling. When I think I'm the LAST, then I meet and befriend someone else... who also passes me by. It's so hard with your close friends. Does your friend know what you're going through?

I finally fessed up to all of my friends so they would know why I am avoiding them and their adorable babies and their pregnant bellies. And still each one thinks that being around THEIR child or THEIR pregnancy is not difficult for me. But it is, it all is. I can't really avoid them, but sometimes I really want to.

I'm so sorry.

Kellennea · 11-20-2006, 09:50 AM

Came across your post -

We're in the same boat so I can totally understand your feelings. Seems like every year another couple in our group of friends is pg... and we keep getting bombarded with questions regarding our lack there of.

Hang in there, it sucks, I know

k.

shef · 11-27-2006, 10:04 AM

My best friend is pregnant with number 3, and I just can't bring myself to call her. I'm furious. I finally got pregnant this past June and lost the pregnancy ONE week later! She hates her husband and gets pregnant only to compete with the Jones' (barely having to blink an eye to do so). I am so urked I just can't bring myself to call her. I know I'm going to lose this friendship if I keep this up. Last year I counted like 15 pregnancies of friends I know well. My husband also can't take talking about it, which just makes me feel more alone. I feel like G-d put ME into a cryogenic state, frozen, until He decides He'll let me out.

beaglenutty · 11-28-2006, 12:14 PM

It just is not fair.... It really isn't. People that arent happy get pg with no problem. We have a house names picked everything and it just doesnt happen. I sometimes feel like we are being punished. Every time I turn around I see pg women. It's worse when family and friends are pg. My sil friend just found out she is pg. She is 20 and still lives at home. That just makes me so mad.
I don't blame you if you dont want to talk to her.

Mommy2one99 · 12-02-2006, 01:23 PM

Hello- I was checking out the boards-- I have a beautiful son who is 7- and have tTC now for 4 years! I have 4 cousins all expecting (they let me know at Thanksgiving supper) with the Guess what announcement... And i am tired of hearing the When are you and your DH going to have another baby? They all know-- my fallopian tube was blocked by an infection and I only have one! I get home from Thanksgiving supper and walk into a store and run into a friend i hadn't seen in 2 years and she';s expecting #4! I think i am going to hide under a rock for now!

Jennifer

11-04-2006, 11:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
BC-Deswife03 In Between Treatment/Failed Cycle Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Simi Valley Posts: 5,542 Blog Entries: 146	We are the only ones left I just found out that another one of my friends is pregant. I am so upset. I know I should be happy for her but now we are the only couple in our circle of friends who are not pg or have children. I am fealling really low and dh is just completely shut down and not talking. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Thanks for listening.

11-20-2006, 09:50 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kellennea Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Chicagoland Area Posts: 3,613	Came across your post - We're in the same boat so I can totally understand your feelings. Seems like every year another couple in our group of friends is pg... and we keep getting bombarded with questions regarding our lack there of. Hang in there, it sucks, I know k. __________________ Me:41/ DH:39 TTC#1 for what seems like FOREVER! - Unexplained IUI's all BFN, except 1- ended in MC 2 IVF's - bfn, 1 FET - bfn. Breaks over... "Let's do this!"

11-28-2006, 12:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
beaglenutty 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Webster, NY Posts: 2,290	It just is not fair.... It really isn't. People that arent happy get pg with no problem. We have a house names picked everything and it just doesnt happen. I sometimes feel like we are being punished. Every time I turn around I see pg women. It's worse when family and friends are pg. My sil friend just found out she is pg. She is 20 and still lives at home. That just makes me so mad. I don't blame you if you dont want to talk to her. __________________ Jen (33) DH (36) After 4 IUIs 1 IVF/ICSI FET 9/7/07 BFP Our miracle Madeline Rose born 5/21/08

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11-05-2006, 05:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
hollym Registered User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: texas Posts: 261	(((((hugs))))) i know the feeling all too well. the most important thing right now is to let your husband grieve too. if he's like my husband, talking about it just makes him feel worse. and you want to talk about it like i do. our men are so different from us. i don't know if all men are like that, but it sounds like ours are. coming here will help you. when you need to talk, come to us because we are here to listen. if your dh is like mine, he wants to tell you what to do to solve the problem. and right now, there is no solution because it's out of your control. so that probably frustrates him. men are problem-solvers. women are sympathetic listeneres. so just pray for him, let him know you love him, and hold tight to him. it is very painful being the one left out. all of my friends have babies and kids and many are pregnant again with #2 or#3 currently. i'm the only one without kids, and it hurts so much. but finding support from other women who do understand helps a lot. keep your friends close even though sometimes it hurts. you never know what they're going through personally either. but when you need your space away from them and their families, don't hesitate to protect yourself. many gentle (((((hugs))))) ~holly ttc #1 almost 10 years mild endo graves disease chronic uterine infection

11-05-2006, 06:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Writinit 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NC Posts: 1,494	Holly, as always, has great advice for you. I'm so sorry. I very much know the feeling. When I think I'm the LAST, then I meet and befriend someone else... who also passes me by. It's so hard with your close friends. Does your friend know what you're going through? I finally fessed up to all of my friends so they would know why I am avoiding them and their adorable babies and their pregnant bellies. And still each one thinks that being around THEIR child or THEIR pregnancy is not difficult for me. But it is, it all is. I can't really avoid them, but sometimes I really want to. I'm so sorry.

11-27-2006, 10:04 AM	#5 (permalink)
shef Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 228	My best friend is pregnant with number 3, and I just can't bring myself to call her. I'm furious. I finally got pregnant this past June and lost the pregnancy ONE week later! She hates her husband and gets pregnant only to compete with the Jones' (barely having to blink an eye to do so). I am so urked I just can't bring myself to call her. I know I'm going to lose this friendship if I keep this up. Last year I counted like 15 pregnancies of friends I know well. My husband also can't take talking about it, which just makes me feel more alone. I feel like G-d put ME into a cryogenic state, frozen, until He decides He'll let me out.

12-02-2006, 01:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mommy2one99 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 15	Hello- I was checking out the boards-- I have a beautiful son who is 7- and have tTC now for 4 years! I have 4 cousins all expecting (they let me know at Thanksgiving supper) with the Guess what announcement... And i am tired of hearing the When are you and your DH going to have another baby? They all know-- my fallopian tube was blocked by an infection and I only have one! I get home from Thanksgiving supper and walk into a store and run into a friend i hadn't seen in 2 years and she';s expecting #4! I think i am going to hide under a rock for now! Jennifer