I Give Up Theres No Hope I Will Never Be A Mom

[SHANNONK]

I am giving up on adoption. I cant afford mortgage home equity that I took out for fertility treatments and now my transmission just went on our car. I have to buy a CAR ASAP and im renting till I have another vehicle. I just cant afford $20,000 home equity, $15,000 car payment and $25,000 adoption. Im **** out of luck. I wish you ladies the best. HUGS> Im pryaing something else works out. JOhns working about 72 hrs a week. HUGS

[tstodghill]

I know exactly how you feel Shannon. Hopefully it will all work out. I would like to say don't give up, but I know how frustrating things can be, especially when it comes to financing the adoption or fertility treatments.

Just know that I am thinking of you and I am paddling in the boat right beside you!

Tiffany

[lleva99]

I'm so sorry things are rough right now Shannon. I know the frustration with the financial stuff...we are paying off all of Noah's adoption fees and right now we're putting our bills on credit cards until we get our adoption tax credit back and our other taxes. It's a hard place to be in but do take the advice you've been given...take some time to step back from everything, pay off some bills, get to a place where that's not such a HUGE thing...then get back into the ring and start looking at your options. There are SO many options to adopt and they definately don't have to cost $25,000.

Emma's adoption (private adoption) fees totaled $3700 and we got all that back with adoption assistance. And Noah's...well, his has been the most difficult and complicated adoption my atty has done and she'd don LOTS in the last 20 some odd years...and it was only $21,000. That's actually really reasonable considering that we paid $9400 to Angel Adoptions (won't do that again) and paid out over $3,000 to the homestudy agency for an update and they took custody until we finalize. We also had to pay for his grandma to fly from AZ to MS to get him and then here to IL to bring him to us. So, what I'm saying is...the most complicated adoption if we'd have done it all with our atty would've been less than $10,000 and it would've all been covered with the adoption tax credit.

When you're ready to think about it again, our atty only chanrges $500 to show your profile until your matched and placed then that money goes into the legal fees to finalize. She said on average an adoption through her costs between $5-10,000. When we finalized she had four other families there finalizing and the month before she finalized 7-8 adoptions. They really do a great job matching and placing, we'll definatley goes strictly with her if/when we adopt again. So, don't give up on your dream to be a mommy, it will happen, just take a deep breath, step back and jump back in when finances allow you! You're in my thoughts and prayers!

[sage2]

Lleva - would you mind sharing the name of your adoption attorney? My husband and I are looking into domestic adoption. Thanks!

[Kastara]

Have faith! Maybe the timing's not right but it will happen if you don't give up. We are in the middle of an international adoption and just had to replace our furnace and had major vehicle repairs this year.

Haiti is reasonable but it does take a long time to wait. There are grants to help people adopting special needs children. Would you consider special needs?

Kastara
adopting 4 year old girl with mild autism/global delays