second surrogacy journey

[chip02142]

hello there
I am starting the contract phase of my second surrogate journey with the same couple.
My agency wants to know what compensation I want. I threw a number out there and she said it was to high because my couple will be buying my health insurance this time around, I don't want to use my personal insurance.
How much lower should my compensation will be to include the insurance cost for them. She kinda made it seem like I should bring it down to what it was during my first experience.
Any help will be awesome
Thank you
~Si

[BC-MAV]

I would think whether it's the same couple or a different one your compensation is a bit more since you are an "experienced" surrogate and have given birth to a least one surrobaby. Have you taken a look at some other agencies and what kind of compensation is estimated to 1st time surrogates and the those that are experienced? I am interested to hear what others say.

[rainbowdad71]

I am a single IF and on my second journey. This is my first time working with this GS but this is her second journey - she is asking for the same amount as her first journey. This was also the case with my first surrogate. However, I have surrogate friends who do ask for more in their second, third, etc. journeys. I think whether one thinks "experienced" surrogates deserve more or not, I believe it's up to the surrogate. The surrogate should be comfortable with the amount because if she is not, she may feel "under-valued" throughout the journey. If you lower your compensation, will you feel OK because you want to work with them again anyway? Or do you feel that you deserve more since it's your second journey?

Personally, as an IP, I would have no problem paying the same amount to a surrogate (who I got along with very well) the second around plus health insurance. In fact, I wouldn't mind paying her a higher comp and health insurance the second time around because I want the same drama-free, positive, awesome, etc. journey again. It is not easy finding a surrogate (or IP I assume) that you can trust, get along with, etc. I think that type of journey and relationship is PRICELESS. Personally, having experience is a plus but there are many surrogates out there with experience - it's much harder finding a surrogate that is the right match. So when you find the right surrogate (or IP), I think one would do as much as one could to work with that person/couple again.

Good luck!

[chip02142]

Thank you both for your input. I am hesitant to make up my mind as far as what I think is reasonable to for compensation. My husband had expressed to me that he thought it would be a good time to add another child of our own. My kids are 9 and 7. I had informed the IP's before we were gonna try for our own child after I delivered their baby. I was told that I couldn't have my own kid because they wanted me to carry for them again 4-7 months after delivery. My contract was up after delivery(of course) I am sure they knew I had no commitment to them anymore. I was able to keep close contact with them, and after lots of talking and discussions with my husband I agreed to do their journey before I would try for my own. I am almost 27 yrs old so I know I have plenty time to have my own children. I love my IP's and have a really close relationship with my IM. I guess my issue isn't the IP's but the agency. I am feeling like the agency is looking out for the best interest in the IP's not for me.
My Ip's are willing to give me whatever I want but I want to make sure I am being fair.

~si

[kukuko]

For your question, I think it's fair to raise your comp a little the second time if it's for the same IP's but you should take into consideration the insurance issue also. Are they having to spend $25k on insurance or $5k? It's an awkward situation discussing money with them which is a good part of having an agency but since the agency doesn't seem to be helping you with that, why don't you talk to them directly.
Now the bigger problem I see is putting off having a child of your own. You don't know what would happen in this pregnancy that would prevent you from having another child. I think this would be your 4th child, I think, so maybe you wouldn't be able to carry a 5th. I'm not saying that would happen but you should never put the IP's family before your own. If you want a 3rd child you should do that first. Just MHO.

[chip02142]

I never really thought that this would be my 4th pregnancy. WOW it just now hitting me
thank you kukuko for making me see this.

[BC-Sirell]

So, shame on the agency for not putting you first! "Experienced" surrogates almost always receive a higher comp than first time surrogates. It seems that your IPs are okay with this, so I would up your base comp $5k. Ultimately it is up to your IPs to say whether or not they are okay with that, not the agency. Talk directly to your IPs first, get their approval, then have them tell the agency this is how they want the new contract written. This is totally the norm and you deserve it!

As for having another child of your own - I agree that is you and your DH want another child, you should to that now and then the sibling journey with your IPs afterwards if they still want to work with you now. Each pregnancy outcome will determine whether or not you can ever be pregnant again. You just never know the outcome. Just because your first three pregnancies were easy does not mean the fourth one will be.

I had 9 flawless pregnancies with easy vaginal deliveries (including a set of twins), than on the tenth I ended up with a C-Section with complications and tons of blood loss. ****! So you just never know.

Really think this one through, Si.

I'm always here if you need someone to bounce things off of and to talk to.

Hugs,


Sirell

[chip02142]

I have talked to my IPs and we have come to an agreement. We are starting contracts this month and hopefully start the cycle in august.
They are still trying to decide if they are doing the frozen embryos(egg donor) or trying with a fresh cycle with the IM's eggs. Everything with my compensation and using my own
insurance has been resolved. I am happy with working with this arrangement.
Only time will tell if I work with this agency again.
~Si

[Surromomgigi]

Congrats on working things out and moving forward. When is your transfer?

[chip02142]

Thanks surromomgigi
We don't have a set date yet, My Ip' have gone back to their home country so I am waiting for them to contact me
again so we can sign contracts. then I guess we get the ball rolling with the RE. I think they were gonna ask him to see if they could implant the last 3 remaining embryos
But of course that is up to the Re and what he thinks I don't mind if we do 1 or 2 or 3. I know that gives us a higher risk of more than 1 baby but I think that is what they are going
for.
~Si