Mid Summer Vent (same as SF BB)

[Blsed4Life]

LONG, LONG VENT (Thanks in advance for reading)......

EO called DH this week (another vent for another day, why DH can't stop answering his cell phone is beyond me) and wanted to meet with us to discuss some issues.

What hacks me off is....before summer began.....we asked to sit down with her and talk about the summer schedule and some issues we were concerned with regarding how SS would react to the change in his schedules between homes again. WE knew it would be an issue at some point and we hoped to talk to her and at least be on the same page with one another. Needless to say, it never happened.

All summer long, I have been making DH take care of almost everything in regards to SS. For the past few years, I would let DH slide and just do it because I thought it was easier, now I realized it was a lousy decision. I even stopped directly communicating with the EO (as I am sure she has noticed)....and let me tell you, it has been a lot less stressful to just step out and not worry about it. I signed SS up for Summer Camp at the Y every week he is with us, except for the last week of summer vacation. I know it might sound awful that I am dumping him off at camp, but I couldn't take SS sitting around playing video games and sleeping to 2pm all summer (he is 10), that doesn't happen in this household like is does in the EO's. So I have really backed out and I have been so pround of myself that i can say NO and not feel GUILTY about it.

Anyway, we needed to cancel, neither one of us were in the mood to deal with her, especially when it comes to us having to discuss how much more $$$ we are going to have to pay her for SS to go to private school, wich is something we totally disagree with. We disagree because SS shouldn't be in private school....or I should re-phrase that....if she is going to put him in a private school because the school system sucks where she lives (gangs and stuff) then at least put him in a school where the kid can excel...but instead...she puts him in a catholic school around the corner from her house (that is convenient, not that she belongs to the church) that has the WORST RATINGS of any school in the city...IT'S NOT EVEN ACCREDITED. SS is stuck in a classroom with 35 other kids, so he doesn't get to excel the way he CAN....(as he is one of the brighter kids in the class) but of course that isn't important to her!!!!! She brags about how much free $hit she gets from the government...then at least find a private school where she can apply to get aid from that would benefit him....she gets everything else for free...why not that too!!!!

I guess I am venting because I have been bitter all summer. EO is ONLY concerned now because it's time to discuss $$$$ for school tuition, she isn't REALLY concerned with the CRAP we have dealt with all summer from SS she is ONLY concerned with how much the $$$ will benefit her (ie, cell phone usage, online dating service and her internet and cable TV expenses). All the meeting will consist of is how much SS hated being at our house, how much he hated going to camp, etc., and then of course she will have to tell us about how "LONLEY SHE IS, HOW HURT SHE IS, AND WOOOO IS ME" (like she does every time we meet) like DH and I really give a $hit?????? We have spent the entire summer just working around this issue or that issue on our own with NO HELP FROM HER WHATSOEVER....now she wants to get involved???? I know we have to communicate, but it doesn't mean we have to have an ALL OUT DISCUSSION, if it doesn't involve SS then we are NOT talking about it.

I know I am really ranting about the EO, but you know, I really think she is DUMB. I know that is NOT nice to say about someone, but she is really DUMB, not like airhead dumb, just DUMB, no street smarts or common sence exsist inside her at all. She doesn't get a lot of this and when you talk to her she tries really hard to GET IT, but she misses the points totally. Her world is so limited and she can't see beyond the 4 walls that surround her life. It's really a sad thing, not that I feel SORRY for her, but let's get real.

I guess I am a little peeved @ DH too. He has been better about taking care of situations and not dumping on me, however, I have had to really push the I AM NOT AVAILABLE when we have SS. On one side I am pround of myself that I have been able to stand my ground and stay out of the picture, but on the other hand, I feel like I have really just been avoiding things. I feel like when SS is here, my house is not my own because SS has so many emotional issues it's like walking on "pins and needles" (OMG did I just say that, my mother used to say that) all of the time. I have spent the entire summer feeling uncomfortable, throwing myself into work and dealing with this whole IF thing on my own. I love my DH with all my heart, and I know he is feeling stuck "between a rock and a hard place" but DARNIT....i need some understanding too...and I really feel like I have not gotten that.

I did make an appointment for DH to see a psychiatrist for his depression and I am hoping the guy can recommend a good marriage counselor for us. Not that are marriage is on the rocks, but there are issues that I know we need to work on, and I don't think that we can REALLY work on them on our own. DH tries really hard, but he just doesn't see WHY this step parenting thing is so hard on me and he doesn't understand why I can't play the "mother" role in all of this??? As someone who has a Masters in Psychology, I can see that we really need a 3rd party to shed some light on all of this. A lot of the feelings I have will go away in about 6 weeks when school starts...but still....I am smart enough to know that we need to get to the root of this and work on it from there. DH gets scared because he feels like "we are failing" when i tell him I want to see a counslor, but it's not that at all, I look at it a a benefit to be able to have a counslor to help bring us closer and work out this stuff.....life is complicated enough without trying to take on dealing with all of the issues yourself.

Anyway...thanks for listening...I know it's long winded....but I really needed to get some things off my chest, and I know those of you who are Step Parents can relate I am sure.