Couldn't do Two Weekends w/o Being Pissed!!!

[Blsed4Life]

OK....MAJOR VENT ON THE HORIZON........

I am very PISSED right now @ my DH and the EO (mainley @ my DH)!!!!

It all started when I picked dss up from school this afternoon. Keep in mind, his school is 30 minutes one way from our house. When we got 1/2 way home, he says, "I hope it doesn't rain tonight for baseball practice" and I said (grumpy/surprised) "what baseball practice?", and he said, "tonight @ 5:30". WELL NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME THERE WAS BASEBALL PRACTICE TONIGHT...AND IT'S NOT ON THE SCHEDULE!!! You know I really hate it when stuff like this happens, because no matter what happens....if I dont' take him, I LOOK LIKE THE EVIL STEPMOTHER!!!!

I am mad at the EO because she will make a DOZEN phone calls to DH's cell phone for stupid ****, but she can't take the time to call me or send an email so I know he has practice. I am sure she thought that DH would tell me, but THOSE TWO ARE SO DISORGANIZED....I know the EO has nothing to do but get dss to Sporting Events....but my DH...I SWEAR....I AM JUST PISSED (and I know I am spending way too much energy on being pissed at the moment).

So I called DH and he said, well "don't take him", that's easy for him to say, he didn't see the TEARS in DSS's eyes when he thought he wouldn't get to go. I am feel like the two of them just EXPECT me to pick up where they have to fall short, I AM JUST EXPECTED TO DROP EVERYTHING TO MAKE THIS WORK....BEING A STEP PARENT SUCKS SOMETIMES!! It's the hardest job in the world, and in the end, the Biological Parent WINS EVERY TIME!!!!

DSS knew I was pissed and so I did the best I could to explain it to him why I was angry, he said he understood. But you know now I look like the EVIL STEPMOTHER!!!! Well I told him I would take him, I told him it was not his fault, and I feel bad because I know he felt bad that I didn't know....but DAMIT....i am an organized person and when people just expect me to DROP it all it PISSES ME OFF.....I know I am too regimined, I have too many rules, and I am a planner. One things IVF has taught me, plans change, and that's something I can adapt too....but to human error and inconsistancy...that pisses me OFF!!!!

OK....feel better now...thanks for listening.

I knew we couldn't go two weekends in a row without something to piss me off, never fails. I try really hard to get a GRIP and not waste so much energy on this...but someties it's hard.

[Sym2]

Yup...that was a major vent.
I hope you feel a little better now though, partly because you got it out, and partly because you have already taken the boy to practice, and saw how happy he was for it.
I am sure he doesn't think your the evil step mother right now.
Tomorrow is always another story. I find I am "awesome" some days, and "stupid as hell" others, with no apparent reasoning behind it. (Kids words).

I am sure though, (and I have heard this too), that if you are the giver, and the bio parents are not, that the step kids sometimes recognize this even as young kids, and therefore you may not ALWAYS be doomed to be the evil step mother.
Feel any better???
Probably not huh?
Sorry.
It IS a crappy job......we know this.
But maybe...........just maybe...............one day.............
it might not be??

I wish I had more bells and whistles to blow

I hope you feel better for the vent anyway.

Sym

[Sym2]

Oh!

P.S...............If it is any consolation, I can't go 2 hours without being pissed off. Last weekend it was a flooded basement from kids who can't listen.

[Blsed4Life]

Sym....

Thanks for your support and kind words. I am sorry you can't go 2 hours without being pissed, IT REALLY SUCKS!!! There are times I think I can't take it anymore at all. But one day I KNOW this will be OVER!!!!

I do feel so much better venting it here, and DSS actually "really" understood why I was mad and said that he was "sorry no one told me and he knows that if I knew, I would have made plans for it". I did feel bad for dss, it's not his fault, but at least I can talk to him about WHY I was mad and he can understand. I know some people might not take the time, but for ONE, I think it's important to be able to express your feelings, no matter what they are.

On the the 1/2 drive to practice, he said, "My mom or dad is so unorganized, they either get me there late or after it starts, at least when you take me I know I will be on time because your totally organized". DH & DSS always tease me about being organized and my calendar's on the side of the fridge and my PALM PILOT, but at least I know what's going on when (well, when someone tells me that is)!!!!

Well on till tomorrow...what can piss me off then....I am sure something will!!!!

[davesgirl]

Thank goodness!! Wow.. I'm ALWAYS feeling like the evil stepmother too. Whew... We are NOT alone in this!! I was just telling a co-worker that I am so tired of being the bad guy because the bio-parents are..well...unorganized is a good word!

Group HUG!!! ah heck, I couldn't find the group hug smilie!

[moe2]

Blsd,

I couldn't help but chuckle at your dss comment about being the organized one! I too am the ultra organizer and planner in our situation. My EO is completely a mess... I actually have to call and remind her of functions... not dr. appointments or anything really important b/c she doesn't get involved in those kinds of things. That would be far too inconvienent. She'll go as far as call to tell me that one of them has a sore throat and needs to see a dr!! She also has to calls me to get ideas for bday gifts and to find out what size she buy my stepkids when she's actually going to buy them some clothes. Pretty pathetic... there would be no way that I would ever call my exhusband's wife to find out what to get my kids (if I had any!!). My stepkids are always teasing me about my rubbermaid organizers and the "family" calendar. The problem is that at times I enable everyone... my dh, the EO and the kids. The other problem is that at times... they become resentful b/c in many situations I provide them with what they really need from their mom but she's not capable of giving it. It's a never ending roller coaster. I pray that it's easier to raise your own child.... I can't imagine anything more challenging than being a stepmom!!
MOE

[Camel01]

Ok,
I'm pist too! Why does she do stuff like that? I'd think that bio moms would be grateful that stepmom takes good care of her child while he's there. AND I don't think that you really look like the stepmonster for not knowing about the practice. It'd be different if you knew about it but wouldn't take him for some other reason like it's really dh's job or something.
I'm glad you explained to him why you were mad. I can't imagine that he would blame you.
I don't know why we waste our energy on this but we do. It's because we care about our skids and want them to have good lives despite the people that work against us.
Hope your weekend is looking up!
Leighann

[Blsed4Life]

Hey Ladies.....thanks for the thoughts. YEP...we waste entirely too much energy on this stuff!!! See the EO in our situation has to be COMPLETELY INVOLVED in everything...she used to make EVERY decison for dss and my DH just let her do it, then when I came into the picture...well.....let's just say I am not as tolerant as my DH is about some things. I have standards, morals, and expectations that I know exceed others, but that is just me.

Today at the baseball game they were giving out a camp sign up, and it's during her week, you know she has the nerve to ask DH what he thought and then said, "can you pay 1/2".....WELL EXCUSE ME...but when dss is with us for everyother week in the summer it's not like child support for the month is cut in 1/2 or we ask her to pay for our childcare when we both have to work!!!! I swear...the $$$$ NEVER ENDS...you don't know how much I wanted to say "get off your fast ass and get a job" but I am rather quiet these days unless it's the 3 of us alone. I vent here and tell you ladies all my thoughts, but to others they just think I am quiet...YEAH RIGHT...me quiet...NOT!!!

Again...thanks for the support.