Hi all, the outcome to the meltdown. Thx for the many prayers (H. Issac update too)

raz · 02-21-2005, 05:54 PM

I have not been online in a while because when I moved, I had the cable turned off. Now i am back online temporarily via dial up, and Crap is it ever so slow!!

First of all, DH went into an inpatient counselling unit where they finally got his medications straightened out and made him realize the danger he was doing, mixing his meds with alcohol. We also have gone to some major family and group counsellling. I told DH before I ever considered moving back in with him some things had to be accomplished, like he had to do something about his oldest's horrible behavior, he had to sit down with me, with the EO and get the crap all out in the open, i was tired of the he said/she said, and his needing to hunt her down when he was drunk, He had to quit drinking, his family had to come first, all his dumb toys had to take a back seat to the family issues, and I was not moving back to the house we lived in. I hated it, it has nothing but unpleasant memories, and I wanted him to live on his own to prove that he wouldnt run back to EO, and that he could stand on his own two feet.

Did you feel the earth move??

He met every demand. YES you read right, he met every demand. The oldest has been placed on long acting Ritalin for her behavior and is currently being tested for a learning disability.
EO now knows she is to deal with me, that he wants absolutely nothing to do with her, He told her, in his eyes, I was the girls mother and I had never steered him wrong, and he was leaving the dealings to me. He has stopped drinking. He has hit some stumbling blocks, with his father drinking and all, but he started drinking non-alcoholic beer and has kept his wits about him now.
He managed to survive on his own without running back to her, or sending the girls back to her. I really didnt think he was strong enough to do that. And believe it or not, we close on our new house on Friday. DH sold all of his toys and we are paying cash. No house payment anymore!! What a relief, I only have to work to meet living expenses.

And there is even more to update. I have been seriously considering surgery, even before I conceived Hunter Issac, and now that he is here I have been approved, via the surgeon, and my insurance. In early to mid March I will be having Gastric bypass surgery. I get the added bonus of short-term disability paying for me to recover, and stay home with Hunter Isaac for a few more weeks! woohoo!

Things are looking up, I am still scared that I made the wrong decision to come back, but I really see DH trying to do better. He sold his pontoon, his camper, and a whole bunch of tools to purchase our home, and they were his pride and joy.

*Hunter Isaac is doing wonderful. He is a few days short of 5 months old. He is eating baby food now, I haven't found anything he doesn't like yet, he is rolling over, and even half crawling, more than scooting, but not a full crawl yet. If I hold his hands, he can pull up from a laying position, to his feet and he can stand with assistance about a minute or two. He is very alert and babbles all the time. We have recognized "mama" "dada" 'me maw" "uh huh" and "no" I don't know how much is just babbling, or if he actually knows what he is saying. lol. He drools alot and has his first tooth coming in. it's a top front tooth. He just melts me with his endless toothless grins with his tongue sticking out! His favorite toy is his foot piano which is at the end of his crib, and thats how he wakes us up, playing his foot piano!
He is getting so big, at last measurement a month ago, he was 17lbs and 27 inches long!!

When I get my computer fully put back up i will update the pictures! Love you all and thank you for the prayers!!

Basilissa · 02-21-2005, 08:31 PM

Raz!!!

I'm so glad you posted an update. I've been wondering how you are.

It sounds like things are going better and you are on the right road.

Gosh, good luck with the surgery too. I'm too scared to do that, especially after the gall bladder surgery. I told DH that I will NEVER willingly go under the knife again for an elective surgery. Too scary. Too risky given what happened when I was under for the gall bladder....

Anyway, I will continue to pray that your DH stays sober. (AA meetings...are they a possibilty for him??)

Love,
Kirsten

scoute · 02-21-2005, 09:12 PM

what a wonderful update. Im so proud of you for making all of these changes.

Your little guy sounds so healthy and wonderful.

Lots of hugs and prayers for your life to continue moving in a positive direction.

Lisa

Sym · 02-22-2005, 05:11 AM

Razberry, I am so happy to hear that things are on the right track!
Good for you to put your foot down to get the things done that your family needs to get done.
Your the core of your family girl!
They are all so blessed to have you. I hope they soon realize that and appreciate it.
You deserve the best.

Hunter sounds like he is a perfectly happy healthy little joy.
He sounds a little ahead of his time as well.
You can hear words?? at 5 months??
WOW!
And he sounds very strong too.
I hope the meds help your sd's behaviour problems. Finding the root of a problem and dealing with it will make her so much happier as well.

Congratulations on your house!
I DID feel the earth move.
I wish you all the best.
Stacey

Cari · 02-22-2005, 06:54 AM

I am glad to hear that things are looking up. You have a long diffucult road ahead of you. I hope that your Dh has the courage and will-power to continue to fight his demons.

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

HollieJoy · 02-23-2005, 04:02 PM

Raz,

Glad to hear that things are looking up for you and your family. I am also glad to hear that your dh has met all of your demands and I pray that he keeps up the changed behavior. It appears that he is trying his best to keep this family together and that in itself should tell you that he loves you. I pray that you will have nothing but smooth roads ahead of you from here on out. Congrats on the new house!! That is awesome news. And it sounds like Hunter is prospering just as he should be. I bet he is a joy to have around. Thanks for the update, Raz and keep us updated on your surgery. I will be praying that all goes well with that. I have heard nothing but great things about gastric bypass surgery and pray for the same results for you.

HJ

02-21-2005, 05:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
raz 900-999 post jack of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: South Carolina Posts: 978	Hi all, the outcome to the meltdown. Thx for the many prayers (H. Issac update too) I have not been online in a while because when I moved, I had the cable turned off. Now i am back online temporarily via dial up, and Crap is it ever so slow!! First of all, DH went into an inpatient counselling unit where they finally got his medications straightened out and made him realize the danger he was doing, mixing his meds with alcohol. We also have gone to some major family and group counsellling. I told DH before I ever considered moving back in with him some things had to be accomplished, like he had to do something about his oldest's horrible behavior, he had to sit down with me, with the EO and get the crap all out in the open, i was tired of the he said/she said, and his needing to hunt her down when he was drunk, He had to quit drinking, his family had to come first, all his dumb toys had to take a back seat to the family issues, and I was not moving back to the house we lived in. I hated it, it has nothing but unpleasant memories, and I wanted him to live on his own to prove that he wouldnt run back to EO, and that he could stand on his own two feet. Did you feel the earth move?? He met every demand. YES you read right, he met every demand. The oldest has been placed on long acting Ritalin for her behavior and is currently being tested for a learning disability. EO now knows she is to deal with me, that he wants absolutely nothing to do with her, He told her, in his eyes, I was the girls mother and I had never steered him wrong, and he was leaving the dealings to me. He has stopped drinking. He has hit some stumbling blocks, with his father drinking and all, but he started drinking non-alcoholic beer and has kept his wits about him now. He managed to survive on his own without running back to her, or sending the girls back to her. I really didnt think he was strong enough to do that. And believe it or not, we close on our new house on Friday. DH sold all of his toys and we are paying cash. No house payment anymore!! What a relief, I only have to work to meet living expenses. And there is even more to update. I have been seriously considering surgery, even before I conceived Hunter Issac, and now that he is here I have been approved, via the surgeon, and my insurance. In early to mid March I will be having Gastric bypass surgery. I get the added bonus of short-term disability paying for me to recover, and stay home with Hunter Isaac for a few more weeks! woohoo! Things are looking up, I am still scared that I made the wrong decision to come back, but I really see DH trying to do better. He sold his pontoon, his camper, and a whole bunch of tools to purchase our home, and they were his pride and joy. *Hunter Isaac is doing wonderful. He is a few days short of 5 months old. He is eating baby food now, I haven't found anything he doesn't like yet, he is rolling over, and even half crawling, more than scooting, but not a full crawl yet. If I hold his hands, he can pull up from a laying position, to his feet and he can stand with assistance about a minute or two. He is very alert and babbles all the time. We have recognized "mama" "dada" 'me maw" "uh huh" and "no" I don't know how much is just babbling, or if he actually knows what he is saying. lol. He drools alot and has his first tooth coming in. it's a top front tooth. He just melts me with his endless toothless grins with his tongue sticking out! His favorite toy is his foot piano which is at the end of his crib, and thats how he wakes us up, playing his foot piano! He is getting so big, at last measurement a month ago, he was 17lbs and 27 inches long!! When I get my computer fully put back up i will update the pictures! Love you all and thank you for the prayers!! __________________ Your star shone brilliantly, if but a fleeting moment, etched forever in my heart. My heart ached so sadly when your light ceased to be, for me losing you, and for you, losing me. 16+ y ttc, 8 prg, 7 M/c 4 blighted O:90,92 x2,95 11/05 in c-s scar. 2/10/06, (9w4d-hb) 10/10/06 (9w1d -hb) & 1 miracle 9/25/04 Hunter Isaac Lee Diagnosis: Turner's mosiac syndrome

02-21-2005, 09:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
scoute 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: So Cal Posts: 7,691 Blog Entries: 10	what a wonderful update. Im so proud of you for making all of these changes. Your little guy sounds so healthy and wonderful. Lots of hugs and prayers for your life to continue moving in a positive direction. Lisa __________________ Lisa Bubby & Sissy yeahhhh we're 7!! "Bloom where God plants you"

02-22-2005, 06:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
Cari Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: NJ- ex NY'er Posts: 2,241	I am glad to hear that things are looking up. You have a long diffucult road ahead of you. I hope that your Dh has the courage and will-power to continue to fight his demons. You and your family will be in my thoughts. __________________ Cari Kyle and Erin 1/21/02 Ryan John 10/15/04

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02-21-2005, 08:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Basilissa 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 6,903	Raz!!! I'm so glad you posted an update. I've been wondering how you are. It sounds like things are going better and you are on the right road. Gosh, good luck with the surgery too. I'm too scared to do that, especially after the gall bladder surgery. I told DH that I will NEVER willingly go under the knife again for an elective surgery. Too scary. Too risky given what happened when I was under for the gall bladder.... Anyway, I will continue to pray that your DH stays sober. (AA meetings...are they a possibilty for him??) Love, Kirsten

02-22-2005, 05:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sym Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 1,202	Razberry, I am so happy to hear that things are on the right track! Good for you to put your foot down to get the things done that your family needs to get done. Your the core of your family girl! They are all so blessed to have you. I hope they soon realize that and appreciate it. You deserve the best. Hunter sounds like he is a perfectly happy healthy little joy. He sounds a little ahead of his time as well. You can hear words?? at 5 months?? WOW! And he sounds very strong too. I hope the meds help your sd's behaviour problems. Finding the root of a problem and dealing with it will make her so much happier as well. Congratulations on your house! I DID feel the earth move. I wish you all the best. Stacey

02-23-2005, 04:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
HollieJoy 500-599 post 7 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Maine Posts: 570	Raz, Glad to hear that things are looking up for you and your family. I am also glad to hear that your dh has met all of your demands and I pray that he keeps up the changed behavior. It appears that he is trying his best to keep this family together and that in itself should tell you that he loves you. I pray that you will have nothing but smooth roads ahead of you from here on out. Congrats on the new house!! That is awesome news. And it sounds like Hunter is prospering just as he should be. I bet he is a joy to have around. Thanks for the update, Raz and keep us updated on your surgery. I will be praying that all goes well with that. I have heard nothing but great things about gastric bypass surgery and pray for the same results for you. HJ