Question on adoption??

[ABCGIRLZ]

I have 2 girls with the same man..their father. I have been remarried now for the past 14 months.

My oldest daughter came to me the other day asking if my current husband will adopt them and she is serious about this.

Her bio dad does not have anything to do with them..He does pay child support and that is about it. Lives right in the same town but does not call nor does he see them..I think the last time he seen them was around Christmas.


I live in Ohio. What do I do to go about getting this started...to see if bio dad will give up his rights. Part of me says he will because of the child support I get..sad I know....

We had to get a paternity test for the baby because he left when I was pregnant so the baby..7 yrs does not know him as well as my oldest..15 1/2

[GirlMom]

Being a child who was "adopted" by my moms second husband, I'd advise against doing this. Considering that your marriage is still so "new" and that you've discussed recent issues here, I'd also strongly advise you not to move in this direction yet. I had very little contact with my bio-dad growing up and I'll be honest, now that I'm an adult, there is this distance between us, but there is also a very strong bond. Good luck!

[pepper]

My cousins DD has no bio father in the picture as far as I know. However she does have a man who helped raise her for many years even after her mom and the guy broke up. My cousin married just under 2 years ago and they had a special ceremony during the wedding dealing their bond but he will not be adopting her. She has the same (original) last name as her mother since the bio father was never around.

I don't think I would do this. He is their father. Maybe she just needs some counseling by herself and with you/the current family unit to work out the painful issues and feelings of abandonment. Perhaps she can reach out to her father. Even if he is not there physically or financially maybe he would like to call/text/write letters. She would probably love to spend some time with your DH. Encourage that. It doesn't have to be official or legal.

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[M&M]

Speaking from my own experience, I would advise aganst this too.

[ABCGIRLZ]

She is in therapy...has been for several months..and yes most of this is dealing his her bio abandonment...she hit a breakthrough about a month ago...she does not call him dad very much.
Her therapist actually agrees with this idea but before we pursue we..current hubby and myself needs to talk with her to make sure we go as far as we can and not half way.

[Ellie Mae]

I think that you know what is best for your girls. I know your ex would have to sign his rights over in order for them to be adopted. Here, you have to be married for two years before the courts will allow a step-parent to adopt.

I think at this point it is important for them to know that biology is of no importance in a father, it is the man who is there for you and who parents you. That is what makes a Daddy, not legal name or biology.

[ABCGIRLZ]

I agree Ellie....I calleds my cousin who works for an attorney...she is going to find some things out for me and let me know..I am NOT rushing into this

[wishing]

I am in the same position. My current husband is not the father of my children and we are going to be starting the process of an adoption. My younger children are from donor and my current husband is the only father they know. My oldest has decided he wants my husband to adopt him as he has never met my first husband (his dad) and we do get some financial support.

My son wants to feel like he is as much my husbands child as the others and we support his decission to want to be adopted.

Good luck with your decission.