Experience with Special Needs Children?

[KristiB]

Hello,

We are thinking about adopting a special needs child and I'm wondering if anyone on this board has experience in this area?

Here in Oregon, they consider any child who has been taken out of the home to be special needs. I'm not sure if that's the same in other states.

Specifically, we are thinking about adopting a child from 0-3 years who does not have physical special needs. We don't feel as though we can adequately support a child with physical or mental disabilities as we are both working. A child who has been removed due to abuse or neglect I think we can work with and provide a very good home.

I'm just hoping to get feedback from anyone who has dealt with this sort of situation before.

I know there will be challenges because of the abuse/neglect, but I think the younger the child, the easier it will be to overcome such issues. I may be wrong, so that's more of a question than a statement.

Any information/guidance anyone can provide would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

[mom2jazzygirl]

We're on our third special needs adoption, the first domestic one. Personally, I find slightly older easier to work with than slightly younger. Older children can participate in their changes, they can process, reason and work through issues. Little ones have everything done TO them, and it takes a LONG time for them to work through those issues.

But, I would say that defining special needs as any child involuntarily removed from their home is a terribly broad range and doesn't really give you any idea of what the special needs of a child may or may not be.

[KristiB]

Thank you for your reply. Do you mind if I ask what type of special needs adoptions you have experienced? How old were the children when you adopted them?

I know that the definition of special needs is very broad here in Oregon. Most of the older children (5 and above) that are listed on the website appear to have been neglected or abused in some way.

Any additional information you can provide would be appreciated. Feel free to PM me if you don't want to post here.

Thanks again!

[bdaz2001]

Kristi,

I think that the state in Oregon is doing a great job with this. Any child who is taken from a birth family should be considered special needs - even if nothing else happened to the child - the trauma of being taken from a home is a lot ot overcome.

We adopted a 5 and 9 year old 2 years ago. In our case both have done well - but my DD (age 9 at the time) was able to talk about what was happening and why. She understood that the Foster Family was temporary - not permanent - and that we were her true Forever Family. DS had a lot more grieving and more trauma.

[TeresaQ]

We just adopted our 4th SN child. Our oldest two were thru the foster care system, and are bio siblings. they were both born exposed to drugs. My some has a few slight learning problems, but nothing really. Our daughter is healthy and no problems. Our youngest daughter was a 29 week premie. She had physical therapy for a yr, and is behind other children her age in some areas not all. She also has adhd. Our youngest son just came home 8 weeks ago from china. He has a cleft lip and palete. He also only has one kidney. He will have urg on the third to repair his palete, and will require a few more surg over the yrs to repair his gum line. Otherwise he is very healthy.
Good luck
Teresa