One of those "inadequate phases"

[LSB]

No one will understand like you ladies. I've been feeling so inadequate lately. I have to be mom and dad. As you know, their dad id deceased, so they have no dad even on weekends...and I have NO family on either side anywhere near me to help. I am the sole bread winner, the sole disciplinarian, the sole house keeper, the sole everything. As grateful as I am that I am not in one of the haneous (and/ or abusive) relationships with an ex where I have to fight with my ex over everything, I wish I had someone to help...anyone. Just feeling very overwhelmed and inadequate. I feel so guilty the girls have NO ONE but me... the family we see most often is my sister, who we see only a couple of times a year for a day, and I am a shy, more introverted person who doesn't take them out much with friends. I want so much more for my girls than I can give then. I am actually feeling OK about not being married right now...no desire to even date at the moment (which would be impossible, anyway, with no one to watch the girls)...but I wish the girls had more family and more love in their lives. I wish I had more money to give them things they want. (I am very grateful I can give them what they need, but all their friends get so much of the "wants" that they don't get.) I wish...I wish...I wish. Hope this phase ends soon, b/c I HATE it. I am not really feeling sorry for myself; I am feeling sorry for my babies. I want more for them. Please don't reply with "pity" responses or say how I am doing my best...I know I am, but it doesn't help. I wish my best were better. I just need to vent a little, and know you ladies will "get it." It is hard being a single mom.

[JulieB2]

HUGS!!! Gosh.... I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I can totally understand why you do. There have been times I've felt similar in some way. Ex was a OTR truck driver so he was only home six or so days a month and when he was home he wasn't engaged. I remember wishing I had him more around for support when things were in upheaval, sick kid, broken appliance, snow filled driveway etc etc etc...It was hard. I do have my mom and my granny so I was never totally alone. That is soooo tough!! I admire you so much! You have been through so much! Honestly, this is not a 'pity' post, but more of a pat on the back. One drawback of the internet, we can't just meet up and hang out.
'

[DixieMom]

Hugs, it is very hard and I had my parents around to help. I think the load got much lighter when I became really good friends with another single mom and we would swap out babysitting for each other. It was nice to know that when I couldn't pick up my girls, she would kick in and help me.

My XH is deceased now but was incapable of helping when he was alive so I felt like mom and dad. I know it isn't the same as your situation but I "kind of" know where you are coming from.

This phase will pass and when your daughters are all grown up and out of the house, you can smile, pat yourself on the back and say "atta girl!" for all the sacrifices you made.

Sending lots of cyber {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you...wish we all lived just a little closer.

[TwoQTs]

((hugs)) All I know is... a friend of mine from way back was a single mom with no-one at all nearby. If she went out, (rarely) she had to have a babysitter come in. She worked evenings at the radio station and her kids were in school all day (6 & 8 yrs old) then she started work at 6 pm to midnight. She felt horrible about it as well.

Her kids grew up well-adjusted & her daughter travels across Canada setting up new Staples stores. Her kids love her dearly.

I know that's not much help, but I know K struggled terribly. The most important person to your kids is YOU, so if they only have YOU, I don't think they're missing out.

I feel bad b/c it is only Mom, Dad & I & rarely my brother/SIL for special occasions. No cousins as J & E are IF. I think for some of us, we have fond memories of large family gatherings with lots of cousins aunts & uncles. Our kids will grow up with different fond memories. That's not necessarily bad... it's just a different reality.

I am also very shy & introverted. I rarely leave the house unless it's for work.

[LandJ]

**sigh** I'm hearing you.....I can't relate completely as I have my parents ext door, but I certainly do get the gist of it. Keep plugging along and adopt my mantra...."this too shall pass."

((HUGS))

[Rudi]

I totally "get it" and understand where you are coming from.

[Homegirl]

xoxoxo I understand. I have no family here either. I 'get' it....

[Rudi]

How are you doing, Lee? How is your Border Collie? I remember reading on the PA 35 board that he (or she?...not sure if it is a boy or gir) was having some issues.

[LSB]

Thanks to all of you for the support. It's comforting to know others who "get it." For me, the worst is not having ANY family around.

Rudi, my Border Collie is having good days and bad days. Right now, he's on a trial of medicine that costs $4 a day. Whether it works or not, I can't afford the medicine, so the trial doesn't really matter, I guess. I'm thinking he won't be with us too much longer.