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11-14-2009, 05:48 PM
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#11 (permalink) |
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5000-9999 post king of hearts
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I think its worth a shot to try counseling. You may one day forgive....but, it will take a very long time (even a life time) to ever 100% trust again. Nance will have some excellent advice on this and how to regain trust when someone hurts you like he did to you...
Lori
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Lori "C&N" 7 year old twins |
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11-14-2009, 06:10 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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0-99 post 2 of hearts
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I assume speaking of "blemishes" you mean criminally related. Thought of having them expunged? Most misdemeanors can be expunged after a couple of years. You can ask the clerk for information. As to the childcare, is there any before/after school day care that you could put them in? Might benefit them as well as you to be with other kids their age. Just a thought! Thats what I did with my boys, they seem to like it, plus they now have their own friends instead of just themselves to play with. I hate to see any woman put in a situation like this and have to depend on the very a** that put her there. "Moving On" is my motto.
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"Relying on a man is like taking one step forward and 5 steps back, you won't get anywhere!" Moving On!  
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11-14-2009, 07:20 PM
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#13 (permalink) |
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1000-4999 post queen of hearts
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,970
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when my ex left me and wanted a divorce I was pregnant. The divorce did not go through till after the baby was born and paternity was established. So mine was basically close to a year.
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11-17-2009, 01:55 PM
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#16 (permalink) |
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10000-15000 post ace of hearts
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 12,305
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You know, I would be willing to consider counseling if, and only if, he was willing to go all out. For me to forgive and to move forward in the marriage, he would have to be willing to go to therapy together, and by himself. He would have to be totally open to where he is, who he is talking to, anything that will let him build the trust back. He would have to give up any of his privacy. And he would have to do it willingly, without hassles. He would have to earn his way back into the marriage. Not just with words and promises, but with action. If he had problems with any of these things, then no. No chance. I have been through 2 marriages and 2 divorces. I know what I would do in your situation.
I have known people in this situation and their marriage has not only survived, but grown tremendously. You can overcome this and have a stronger marriage. It is possible if you have willing parties.
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Sheryl - 47 yrs old Proud Mommy to B & B - Jan 2002 2+ yrs IF - 14 IUIs - 3 m/c (2 during IF, 1 years ago) - last injectable cycle worked! God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. |
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11-17-2009, 09:17 PM
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#17 (permalink) | |
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5000-9999 post king of hearts
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Quote:
amen sister...there are some jewels out there...I know, I found one.
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There will be many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Those are the things you must pursue. Dixiemom mom to  (10) and (6) and  
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11-19-2009, 07:09 PM
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#18 (permalink) |
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0-99 post 2 of hearts
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Well with the news of me losing the baby, he no longer wants to go to counseling. What an A**! I knew he was just playing his game with me!
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"Relying on a man is like taking one step forward and 5 steps back, you won't get anywhere!" Moving On!
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11-24-2009, 07:04 PM
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#19 (permalink) |
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5000-9999 post king of hearts
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Mine went fast
I left in February of 2006 I filed for divorce January 2007 and it was Finalized April 2007 ( I only took so long to file because I couldn't afford to pay the attorney prior to that, being a single mom with no support and all)
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Aarin Doda 8 Nana 5 Max 1 Maturity is the ability to control our impulses , to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will effect ourselves and others. |
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11-25-2009, 11:12 AM
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#20 (permalink) | |
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5000-9999 post king of hearts
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Quote:
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
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There will be many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Those are the things you must pursue. Dixiemom mom to (10) and (6) and
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7 years old
