I think my husband has lost his mind!

[Hoping4#3]

Some of you may have seen the link to my blog post on facebook, but if you haven't then brace yourself...my husband says we can have another baby!!! All along he's been saying no. He wanted 2, but finally agreed to a third. He told me there was no way we'd be having 4. Now all of a sudden, he has realized how much I want another one, and he said he would be all in- even if we have to do IVF again!!! I think I'm still in shock. He said that we could just not prevent for a while and then go back to the RE if/when we don't get pg. on our own. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing!

The problem is...as much as I want another one (which is pretty badly), I don't know if it's the right decision for our family. Having the 3 that we have now seems perfect. I don't know if I want to mess with that. I also worry about the financial aspect and the logistics of having 4 (probably 4 boys). I am so torn. I feel like it would be selfish and irresponsible to have another child, but it would make me soooo happy to be pregnant again!

Thoughts?

[caridd]

I know just how you feel! My DH has been asking me to make his appt. for his vasectomy and bugging me to start my bc pills again...until a couple days ago! I have been hinting about wanting another baby, mostly in a jokingly way, but DH says to me "do you really want another one?" and when I said yes he said ok! Holy cow! Then he was like "lets wait 4 months"...I was thinking a couple years! So I am having the same problem as you. I want it bad, but know that right now is the WRONG time! Oh it's so hard to listen to my head and not my heart. I'm afraid if we wait a few years we are going to think "are we crazy for starting over again with a baby?" Still not sure what we are going to do...

[Hoping4#3]

Ok, so maybe I'm the crazy one. My husband keeps talking about when we get pg. again and I'm starting to have doubts. I'm actually starting to look forward to the next chapter in our lives- whatever that may bring. For the longest time all I could think about was having another baby and now I'm not so sure. I kind of like the thought of moving forward and moving out of the baby phase. At the same time, I will miss the baby phase terribly! UGH!!! Why is it that we always want what we can't have, until we can?

Thanks Cari for understanding! I'm glad I'm not the only one having difficulty deciding!

[micheleonel]

Don't you think it is funny how we think it is irresponsible to add another to a managable family and then we read constantly about that crazy lady who had 8 on top of her 6? Hoping, it is not selfish or irresponsible for you to consider having another. You are wonderful parents and are responsible for the future of the world by creating the leaders of tomorrow! And we need some good ones!

Cari, same for you! And I don't remember how old you are but I know you'll be ready whenever it happens!

In the meantime, we have never been broker, I am stressed to death mostly because I am working so many hours without bringing home much money but I am willing to go back to RE when I get my next AF which will be my second since getting PG. (I haven't usedthose abreviations in a long time! Ha!) I think the stress comes mostly because I am headed into the danger zone of not wanting to work so hard since it forces me to be away from Miles for so long. Oh yah, and the house is out of control! Yikes! But, I want Miles to have a sibling. And I, too, have had worries about whether another would take away from the love and attention I can give to Miles. No so much about the money, I figure, I can just dye all of Miles clothes pink if need be.

OK, so I think that might have been a wish that turned into a little bit of a rant. Sorry!!

What I really want to say is this: Girls, you are wonderful moms! Do it as much as you can! I love your DHs for thinking it is a good idea!

And I love you too!

[Hoping4#3]

Thanks Michele! You are just so sweet! I think it's great that you want to give Miles a sibling. Whatever you think Miles will miss (in the short term) by bringing another baby into the house, he will gain back ten fold by all of the things he will learn by being a big brother. And, your love will grow exponentially- not be cut in two! It is truely amazing to watch my boys together, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world - even when their fighting gets on my last nerve!


BTW- I still haven't had AF yet! I'm still BFing pretty regularly though, so I'm not too surprised!

[caridd]

My house is way out of control also. I have been trying to get it taken care of but it seems like a never ending battle. My DH says if I have to choose between being a bad mom and a bad housekeeper I have chosen the right one! So the baby gets all my free time and the house just has to suffer. Sometimes dinner suffers also!

Gosh are we really talking about AF again? Ok...I have had 2 I believe since DS was born, and a few spotting episodes in between. I am way confused about something though. It has been 7 weeks since AF and last week I thought I was getting AF so I decided to start the bc pills...then AF stopped. Never really got past spotting. Do you think the pills made it stop or was it not really my AF?

[Carter08]

I love this talk of babies in everyone's future.

As for the AF...I thought I was getting AF when I was really pregnant and didn't know it. I felt exactly like I do right before I get AF...crampy and tired. So I took advil and it didn't help much. Ooops! So you never know!

Gosh...I don't know what to tell you guys. I am always the type of person who wants to do something and I get really excited about it and I just have faith that everything will work itself out. Okay, well, I do worry worry worry about things when I am preggo (I can only focus on the health of the baby and I worry about everything else later). But major decisions I am usually up for whatever rollercoaster the choice brings. I should probably think things through a little bit more (ummmm, maybe this is why I will have three kids under 15 months come October, hmmmm?). But I know it will work itself out and be the right path for us even though we didn't plan it.

Go with your gut! Like you said Pamela, your love will grow exponentially every time your family expands. But if you feel your family is complete, maybe you have everything you need. Ugh! I am no help.

Carrid, same for you, I am no help I know, but I say go for it everyone! Mostly because I think it is so exciting to have another baby. But I know, there are things you have to think about before you go down this road.

Good luck to all of you guys making your decision!

[TRISHA]

HOPING- HA!! You would think our dh's were friends. My dh was SOOO overwhelmed all of these months with the baby, very demanding lil guy with lots of issues... but wonderful! SOOOO.... I was still saying, "when we have another...." and he would look at me like I'm psycho! BUT recently he said, "well, I guess we'll try again when Stevey is a year or 2! I was excited, shocked, but then got a little scared myself and thought......"4?" I think I would always feel blessed with a "natural" miracle, but if we did ivf again (11 frozen embryos) I would be torn, because I would definately only want 1 baby..... and twins are a big risk, and I could not handle 5 kids....so IDK... I think our hearts will eventually give us the answer... ya know? You have to kinda follow your heart and instincts in this situation. I always think it's cute when a man is so "taken" by his baby, and says, "lets do this again." VERY COOL

[micheleonel]

I agree with Carter! We should ALL do it again! I mean, come ON! Look at how great we are at it!

[TRISHA]

MICHELE- Sounds good to me