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My selective reduction story

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  1. #1
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    My selective reduction story

    Before my selective reduction I was googling any info I could find about it, here is my story, hopefully something can be learned from it...

    I have struggled with infertility for many years, I had my son after 2 failed IVFs he was a FET where I put in 2 embryos & got him. Then 2 years later we wanted to try again, I only had 2 embryos that made it and transfered both. To our surprise we got triplets, one egg split. The drs werent please they sent be to a maternal fetal medicine specialist who told us the mortality/morbidity rates and suggested reduction. After trying so hard to get pregnant it was the last thing we ever thought we'd be faced with. We decided to reduce 1, but the dr told us the placement of the fetuses made it too difficult they would have to reduce the twins or try to carry triplets to term. They also told us twin to twin transfusion could happen & result in the death of the twins. They waited until 12 weeks to do the reduction, i think that was the first mistake.
    After the reduction everything seemed as good as it could be, no spotting, no pain. At 18 weeks I noticed some brown discharge, the drs said it was nothing. At 20 weeks out of nowhere one of the reduced fetuses came out, I rushed to the hospital where it was delivered and they told me I should be fine & to go home. This is what caused an infection, they should have given me antibiotics at this point.
    I was on modified bedrest at this point, until one day at 23 weeks my water broke. We again rushed to the hospital where they tried to stop labor, but couldn't. Our son was born the next day and lived only minutes. It has now been 4 months and besides the heartache I also feel so much guilt & regret. My due date has come & gone and my son is buried, but all I can think about is what I'd do differently. I wish I had fought to keep the twins since I now know not to reduce the bottom fetus closest to cervix, that is why it came out & started the infection. I should have taken antibiotics or silver...I should've done things differently but now I will pay for it for the rest of my life.
    Sorry this is so long...always stick up for yourself with doctors

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  3. #2
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    I'm really sorry for you losses. This reduction process is the result of you and many woman being infertile. It's not fair but we have made choices based on our best of knowledge and doctors opinions. Having triplets is risky...some are born handicap and the lucky ones are healthy. You did the best you could and you have to believe in yourself and don't doubt your decision. Live happily for the wonderful son you have and I hope you will still keep trying. I've reduced from 4 to 2 and I know my head made the right decision, but my heart will always be a little empty. I'm greatful for what I have and had to struggle to get pregnant...some people got no kids ...at least I have some.

  4. #3
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    I am so sorry for you loss and I hope that you know it was not your fault! Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story for the rest of us!

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