My husband and I experienced a shock of a lifetime this past November: we learned we had conceived triplets - naturally! I'm 39 and we have 2 children who are 10 and 13, thought we were done and thought, 'well, maybe...lets try for just one more' and now...QUADS! At my 1st ultrasound they saw 3 babies - 1 singleton and mono-mono identicals. For the next couple ultrasounds it looked like triplets. On Monday (11 weeks pregnant) I went for an amnio and they found a 4th baby hidden behind the others and the identicals are still mono-mono.
After the amnio our ob-gyn said, "Come and see me on Monday to arrange a reduction down to one or two because carrying 4 isn't ideal given your age, the fetus's positions, your diabetes and blood pressure issues." He said the mono-mono's should definitely be reduced because they are growing over my cervix and are considered "high risk" because they share the same placenta and sac.
How do we come to terms with this? I've seen them on the ultrasound, they are beautiful with big heads and round bellys, cute fingers and toes - moving all around. I've watched them grow since they were tiny flickers of light. It's too late to say, "don't look at the u/s's and don't get attached" because I already have.
Any guidance you have would be greatly appreciated. This is about the toughest decision we've ever had to make.
Results 1 to 10 of 14
01-12-2012, 01:21 AM #1onlysony72Registered Usermomo twins in Quad pregnancy
Facing a Selective Reduction with Quads
01-12-2012, 10:10 AM #2Midnight78Registered Userhas no status.
Edited to delete. Didn't mean to offend yet I don't want to be offended as you do not know everything about me. My dh and i have talked about selective reduction if we pursue iui again as it would be near impossible to carry any more than a singleton pregnancy to term. It is a scary reality for us as a twin pregnancy would be very risky. I have faced preterm labor risk and the possibility of having a premature baby. I laid in bed for 4 months wondering if I would ever take my baby home.
I was trying to offer support. People offer support to others who have not experienced the same thing all the time, all over the boards.
Last edited by Midnight78; 01-12-2012 at 11:30 AM.Me:33 DH:34 TTC#1 Aug'08
Oct'08: D&C missed
Feb'09: Hysteroscopic resection, septated uterus.
May'09: D&C missed after excellent betas & heartbeats. Turners Syn. RPL Panel-clear.
Aug'09-Dec 09: Clomid/GonalF IUIs, failed.
Mar'10: Taking mental break, BFP
Beautiful DD 11/24/10
May'12: IUI gonalf. BFP
Due date: Feb 4, 2013
01-12-2012, 11:04 AM #3ShoshieRegistered Userhas no status.
Congratulations on your pregnancy...I'm so sorry you are dealing with a possible reduction. I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with a singleton after a reduction of mo/di twins who were over my cervix. It was a heartbreaking decision, and like you, even more difficult at the end of the first trimester when you have seen the babies on ultrasound looking like babies, moving, healthy, and perfect. Many days my husband and I felt that I could carry them to a good gestation and weight for triplets, and the other other days we tried to remove ourselves from the emotion of it, and look at the statistics for the pregnancy in terms of total loss of a triplet pregnancy (15%, but even higher for quads), and due to the twins over my cervix, one of which had a cord complication but was growing fine at the time, the peri gave us a 50% chance of a delivery at or before 28 weeks.
In the end, we kept reminding ourselves that our personal goal was to bring home a healthy baby. We had been trying for 4 years, with multiple IVFs, and although it was the worst decision we ever had to make, (and we still have difficult days), we kept reminding ourselves of our goal of a healthy outcome and it weighed heavily for us when considering all the risks.
This is a very personal decision and one that only you and your husband can make when considering the advice of doctors, statistics, your beliefs, and any other host of factors that apply to you. Hopefully you will find stories on this website of women who were faced with a similar decision and what they chose, and why. Everyone's situation is different and you must do what is best for you and your family.
To Midnight78, I am not sure if you were ever faced with a reduction or not, as it is not clear by what you wrote if you had a high order multiple pregnancy. However, it doesn't look like it based on your history. That said, please do not comment as to what you would do if you have never been faced with this situation. For most women, it is an excruciating decision to make, very emotional and personal, and certainly not one that is made with the flick of a switch upon learning of the situation, as you seem to have wrote, "If I were in your shoes..". Hopefully you would never have to face making this decision, and I don't wish the situation on anyone. That said, you cannot relate to another women's choice if you have not been in her shoes. Additionally, none of us on here should tell ANYONE what to do...as I said, it is an awful, unfair, personal decision to be forced to make, and we should only be sharing our experiences if we have one to share.
01-12-2012, 06:31 PM #4jan21Registered User Over 5,000 Posthas no status.
HUGS. I'm sorry you are facing this.
Are you seeing a peri (high risk OB)? That is the person you should be talking to, not just a regular OB, to discuss what the risks/options etc, then possibly a consultation with a doc who would actually DO the SR. In addition, what we did when we found out I was pregnant with triplets was go see a psychologist who was affiliated with our RE clinic. I sobbed through the entire first session, then went back 1-2 more times (can't remember how many) to help me come to terms with what I really wanted to do. Time seems to be of the essence for you, since you became pregnant naturally it may be a bit trickier to find someone right away. but most high risk OB practices DO have a social worker or psychologist. Or, you may be able to find a psychologist who works with infertility (not your issue here, but it's IF procedures that usually lead to the higher order pregnancies).
No one can make your decision for you of course, but try to get as much medical knowledge as you can, then you just have to go with what is right for YOU and your family and don't look back.
And the PP is correct, unless you have been in this situation no one else can understand it.
01-13-2012, 12:49 AM #5onlysony72Registered Usermomo twins in Quad pregnancy
Thank you for your kind thoughts. We were sent to a high risk OB right away. He is also the one who would perform my SR. Having delivered many multiples he seems to think this is my only choice for a safe and healthy outcome - for all of us. It is one thing to carry quads but another to have twins in the same sac, sharing a placenta and have rooted themselves right over top my cervix. It IS and agonizing decision. My husband is more supportive of a SR because he isn't carrying them and his emotional attachment is the same. Plus, these babies came as quite a surprise. It took us a year of trying (I know its not a lot of time for those of you who have had serious fertility issues), each, to have our other children but these babies happened 'just like that.' I try to tell myself that it is for the better - reduce the identicals to give the other 2 a better chance but it is very hard to see it that way. I have never had to face a pregnancy termination before and never thought I would do it if I was. Now, all my morals, ethics and values regarding the life of the unborn seem to be in question.
01-13-2012, 04:13 AM #6
I was in the same boat as you and felt exactly the same. I went from 4 to 2 because after seeing 3 doctors, they all said the samething and the stats for 4 are not good....I believe it's 70% survival and 50% of the 70% have long term disabilities. I was attached to my pregnancy from day 1....but I really did not want my babies being born at 2 1/2 pounds which is the average weight for quadruplets and suffer long term disabilities so I went through the reduction. The guilt does not go away even though I have totally healthy twins...but I think I did the right thing but giving the surviving twins the best outcome possible.
01-13-2012, 06:14 PM #7allieg8erRegistered Userhas no status.
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Went through reduction yesterday
I had my reduction yesterday. I was carrying quintuplets and suffer from medical conditions that would prevent me from providing nutrition to all 5. I choose to look at all the u/s and hear the heartbeats for me it was important that I know the reality of the situation. I then took it upon myself to do all the research I could about carrying quints, quads, triplets and twins. I spoke to several doctors about the risks, church leaders about the situation and ultimately made the most difficult choice to reduce. For me the most difficult part was right before the reduction because I thought oh my goodness what am I doing. Since the procedure I have felt very good that I made the right choice and am actually starting to look forward to the future. I wish you the best with your difficult situation.
01-15-2012, 09:14 PM #8onlysony72Registered Usermomo twins in Quad pregnancy
I'm thinking about you and what you've through, along with many of the women on this forum, and it has given me a lot to think about. My dr appointment for tomorrow was cancelled and put over to Wednesday. At that point I'm going to be referred to a doctor who specializes in mutliples and I can get my second opinion. I know what my decision should be but getting there is far more difficult than I ever thought. The hardest part is that, orginally believing we had triplets, we all fell in love with them - knowing that the pregnancy would be hard and the identicals posed additional problems. But we were up for it (sort of). But, with the addition of the 4th it seemed to change everything and suddenly the SR words were being spoken by everyone. However, we had fell in love with those three and now we're faced with that feeling of "we loved you once but now you need to go..." I'm just venting I suppose...it all seems so surreal to be here.
01-16-2012, 05:03 PM #9onlysony72Registered Usermomo twins in Quad pregnancy
We're experiencing a huge snowfall and it doesn't look like I'll make it to my doctor's appointment on Wednesday so he emailed us my amnio results. It says everything came back normal - 4 healthy babies so far. 3 girls and 1 boy. Not just fetuses but healthy 12 week old fetus' that have a gender. My dr is stressing that he must see me this week to discuss my options...weather pending.
01-18-2012, 03:21 PM #10AislinghRegistered Userhas no status.
Just wanted to offer you a hug and support. I can't imagine what your going through.
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