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  1. #1
    BC-JuliaB
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    Gave away DD's baby clothes

    Today I gave away most of DD's (almost 5 now) baby clothes (0-18 months) to a good friend who is due with her first girl soon. I felt strong all day, but now I just feel overwhelming sad. Even though we are continuing with IVF our prognosis is not good and this felt like just another step to accepting that we may never have another child. Thanks for listening!


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  3. #2
    MrsJones
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    Julia- I'm sorry your feeling sad. I'm quickly learning that this journey is full of a wide range of emotions. You were able to do something that I have yet to accomplish. My DS is 11 and I refuse to let go of his baby clothes. That just proves you are a strong woman. I wish you success in your attempts to expand your family.


  4. #3
    Fairymom
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    Julia, I understand your overwhelming sadness at giving away your DD's baby clothes. After my third failed IUI and the realization that we wouldn't be able to afford any further infertility treatments, I finally forced myself to let go. But it was so very hard. I did save a few of her little baby outfits - ones that were particular favorites that I just couldn't bear to part with. The rest I either sold at a garage sale or gave away. That was about five years ago. Then two years ago, we had to move from our house into an apartment. Before our DD was born, we had bought a dresser in need of TLC and I had hand painted it for the nursery. For DD's second Christmas, I bought a little table and two chairs, and DH and I worked on it every night for about two weeks, lovingly hand painting & customizing the set for DD. She used it as an art table until she was too big to fit into the chairs at the table. At the garage sale before our last move, I put all of those things up for sale. We simply weren't going to have the room for them in the new place, DD had for the most part outgrown them & I didn't see putting them in storage for the next 20 or so years until DD had a child ... they weren't heirloom quality worth passing down. Not really. I had thought I was ready to let them go, too. But a few minutes after a guy bought them (and made me think I had priced them too low!), I burst into tears.

    I also still have a little footed pajama that I bought with little dragons and castles on it. I bought it right after my first IUI. I was sure the IUI would work, and I really wanted a boy so that we'd have one of each, you know? But it became clear soon enough that a second baby wasn't going to happen. There's a part of me that knows I should get rid of it because it tears me up to see it when I happen to open the drawer where it is looking for something. I still get a sharp twinge of regret. I don't think I'd know how to handle it if I opened the drawer one day and didn't feel that twinge.

    You are not alone. We get it. {{{hugs}}}
    The difference between the almost-right word and the right word is ... the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. - Mark Twain

    http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/immaculate_conceptions


  5. #4
    BC-JuliaB
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    Mrs. Jones and Fairymom, thanks for your responses. It's so good to be able to vent to people who understand. Mrs. Jones - don't worry, I held on to plenty of stuff. Fairymom, I totally get bursting into tears after making the sale - that's how I felt too.
    I don't think I'm ready to make our getting rid of baby things public (i.e., garage sale or even craig's list) because that would open up a whole conversation about ttc. I'm SO not ready to go there with strangers yet. I gave them to a close friend who knows what we're going through and also knows how hard it was for me to give this stuff away. I've had a really hard time dealing with family members and friend's pregnancies, so I'm glad I was in the emotional place to give it to her. I'm feeling better about things now - one day at a time, right?


  6. #5
    BC-JuliaB
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    Mrs. Jones and Fairymom, thanks for your responses. It's so good to be able to vent to people who understand. Mrs. Jones - don't worry, I held on to plenty of stuff. Fairymom, I totally get bursting into tears after making the sale - that's how I felt too.
    I don't think I'm ready to make our getting rid of baby things public (i.e., garage sale or even craig's list) because that would open up a whole conversation about ttc. I'm SO not ready to go there with strangers yet. I gave them to a close friend who knows what we're going through and also knows how hard it was for me to give this stuff away. I've had a really hard time dealing with family members and friend's pregnancies, so I'm glad I was in the emotional place to give it to her. I'm feeling better about things now - one day at a time, right?


  7. #6
    Anusha15
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    BC-JuliaB- I am sorry you had to go through that. I felt a small fraction of what your going through. Today I boxed up my sons 6-12 month clothes to clear out space for his 24month clothes and I was sad thinking if I would ever see another child of mine wearing them again. TTC really takes away the hope inside you sometimes. I hope you get your #2 one day.
    Me 26 DH 28
    TTC since July 2008
    Diagnosed PCOS feb 2009
    Clomid +IUI August 2009 Success!! BFP
    TTC #2 since Feb 2011 OPK+TI
    IUI#1February 2012 BFN
    IUI#2April 2012 BFN
    IUI#3 Follistim 75IU 4 Follies BFN
    Sept Follistim 2-3 follies BFN
    October Clomid 100mg IUI#4 BFN
    December Follistim cycle cancelled 11 follicles
    Feb 2013- Follistim IUI#5 BFN
    moving on to Fost/Adopt


  8. #7
    Dmsangel
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    I'm so sorry you had to do that. I was thinking about this yesterday, when to let go of everything he's grown out of (toys & clothes)
    Dorothy (30) & DH (31) Dealing with severe MFI

    IVF #1 9/2009 - baby boy born 5/22/10 at 37.4 weeks due to low fluid
    IVF #2-4 6/2011-3/2012 - 2 chemicals, 1 BFN
    FET #1-2 - BFN & embryos didn't survive thaw
    IVF #5 8/2012 - new doctor - BFP! Twin boys arrived at 34.5 weeks 4/10/13!


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