ovarian failure

[sadiebug]

This is the first time that I have posted a message so forgive me if I am naive of web lingo.
I have been ttc for 2yrs without success. My DH already has a child from a previous marriage, so needless to say the problem is not with him.
I have gone through the battery of tests and I am one of the lucky unknown diagnosis for infertility. Everything appears to be normal, but of course it is not or I could get pregnant. Both of my sisters could walk by their husbands and get pregnant, and one is even older than me and currently pregnant. Sort of ironic that my fathers favorite saying is "life is not fair, and noone ever said it would be".
Yesturday after 11 days of Gonal-f injections (this was my second round of Gonal-f first one was a failure after 2IUI's),my DR informed me that I experienced the rare occurence of Ovarian Failure, and that my cycle would be stopped. I am not sure how to handle this, we have been paying out of pocket for the meds and ins only covers so much. They said I could try again, but that there is no guaranty that the failure will not occur again. IVF is out of the question and if my ovaries fail again, pointless.
I just don't know what to do or how to feel, I am sad and mad at the same time, and all I ever do is cry. I know I should take some time off, but if I do I don't know if Ihave it in me to start again. This seems like whining since I know other people go through alot more for alot longer. I am scared to risk my marriage and my sanity for something that may or may not happen even with all the help in the world. I am just really confused right now and just depressed. When is it ok to say enough is enough?
Thanks for listening anyone out there.

[hopefulstill]

I know how devastated you may feel, but its still early so don't give up yet.

I felt the same way when I heard I had a failed ovarian cycle.

My problems all started with an ectopic pregnancy last October which resulted in a rgt partial tube removal. I was told the risks were high for an ectopic even on my good left side and IVF was my best alternative.

I went to a reproductive endocrenologist and started the testing for IVF. I found out through day 2/3 bloodwork that one month I had a high estrogen level, another was normal, and another month a high FSH level.

High FSH is a sign of ovarian failure and I was unable to move forward with IVF at that time. The month I had a high FSH level I did have a two week period and failed to ovulate successfully. The next month although I did not have bloodwork done on day 2/3 (was away at time) I was monitored and it seemed at first as if my egg was not growing and I would again have a failed ovarian cycle. However, we persisted and although the cycle was lengthy I ended up having 2 good eggs and I just went through an IUI today (despite the ectopic risk), so we will see. If this doesn't work I am going to get 2/3 day bloodwork done again and see if I can do IVF next month.

My doctor told me that sometimes people can have an abnormal cycle. It doesn't always mean that you have ovarian failure. He says they usually wait for around 3 high FSH months before deciding that. Even if it is ovarian failure, it may not be every month.

You may want to have bloodwork done on day 2/3 of your cycles to see what your situation is. Also frequent ultrasounds during the month may help in determining if you do end up have a good month despite the problem.

Best of Luck and be hopeful.

[MelissaS]

Sadie,
I'm almost 40 and after my first IVF, which was canceled 5 days into the cycle. Dr. informed me that I am having Ovarian Failure too. While that is to be expected at my age, I am devistate as well. The Dr. seems hopeful that the next round will go better and, ironically, is adding lupron to SUPPRESS my failing ovaries.

Hopefully your doctor might change the medications if you try for another round. Maybe a different doctor?? I'm not sure where you live and what your access to RE's are.
I know what you mean about enough being enough. I was thinking the same thing after first and only IVF. But as painfull as it was to me, my huband really wants a child and I'd really like to give it to him. (we also have MF issues) Of course I'd like a baby with him as well, but I do have an 18 year old daughter, so I can say I have experience motherhood. After I licked my wounds for a while I decided to go for another round.

Of course the decision really is up to you and your husband and how important having your own baby as opposed to adopting as oppsed to living without children. It is really hard and having a cancelled cycle is pretty depressing and a horrible dose of reality. Don't feel bad about being depressed and unhappy, its only natural.

Take care of yourself and the best of luck with what you decide to do

[SmilingHelps]

Sadie,

Please don't get discouraged. I know how hard this can be and it is especially difficult when you are paying quite a lot of money out of pocket. As always, the ultimate decision is yours, but I did think i would tell you about my own experiences just to see if they can be helpful.

I am 25, my husband is 37. We have never had any children. All of our tests are not only normal, but better. We thought this would be so easy, but of course, it has not been.
Many of my cycles are cancelled because of poor ovarian response (and one time, no ovarian response at all - which it seems your doctor has classified as ovarian failure). Many times, they just have to find the right medicines and tweak them up a bit. Not every person is the same and many times we need unique protocols (medicine combinations). One month, I will have a horrific cycle that is cancelled after about 5 days in because I have no ovarian response at all. Then another month (like last month), I will have a fantastic ovarian response and be right on track with other women going through the same treatment.
Before giving up, please speak with your doctor about changing your protocols. You may not have "ovarian failure", but you may be a "low/poor responder". If you are a poor responser (as many of us are), you can just work around that by changing your medicine combinations.

I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you. Please don't get too dissapointed. I know how hard it is not to get swallowed up in the heartache. Many times, I have spent days in bed crying just trying to understand what is happening. Use this forum. This is a wonderful place where people can help you.

Take Care.
Jen

[Sconi]

Hi Sadie! Sorry to hear you are going through this! It's ok to feel the way you do. I have been going through those emotions since October. I almost did risk my marriage because my sanity was going out the window over IF. I went on vacation without DH and realized that I wanted every thing to work. It hasn't been perfect and I still have my down monents over IF but I have found that therapy has helped me sort my feelings as well. When I start to think illogically, the therapist in an unbiased party that pulls me back. Just listen to your intuition on what you need to do for you and we'll always listen and try to help you here!

[Pandora]

Hi....I have ovarian failure also. I completely understand what you are going through. I was diagnosed Sept 04 and have been going to an RE ever since. He did alot of bloodwork etc. until May then finally put me on hormones and sent me on my way. I just feel like he could have been more aggressive since I was producing a mature follicle every few months. The worst thing about ovarian failure is there isn't alot of info out there. (or at least I can't find anything) To make matters even worse for me is everyone around me is either pregnant or just had a baby. I have to pretend to be happy for them which makes me feel kind of selfish. I will definitely share all the info I get regarding ovarian failure with you. Also, if money is tight, check out nih.org (Premature ovarian failure clinicals) They have been doing research on POF since 1991 and are looking for women who have been diagnosed with it. I am waiting for them to go over my paperwork and hopefully will be part of the program. Another website is POFsupport.org....